My guy isn't happy my Gay (male) best friend is staying over at mine this weekend. Does he have a point?

I've been dating this guy for about 4 months; we're not seeing anyone else but we've never had the exclusive talk. Either way, I really like him.

Anyway, I told my guy that my Gay best friend, (who I've known for 20 years and is like a brother) will be staying over at mine this weekend (sleeping in a spare room, as always). We've stayed over at each other's places loads of times over the years (high-school, college years etc) but never shared a bed. I've been upfront about everything, and I'm keen for my guy and my friend to meet as I know they'll get on, but I'm a little offended by his reaction because it feels like he can't trust me.

I know some people will say; "how would I feel if a lesbian stayed over at my guy's place?" but honestly, I wouldn't have a problem as long as there's boundaries and they're not sleeping in the same bed. I guess I'm a bit more laid back than some girls, and he's the first guy I've been with whose had this problem.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If I were him, I'd at least want to meet him first, so that I can confirm he is actually gay. I'm usually able to tell. Also, whether he is a nice guy or not.

    I'm not saying that the guy is a liar, but I've met a few guys who acted really feminine so that people would assume he was gay (without ever saying he is), just so he could get closer to girls and perv on them.

    I doubt it has anything to do with his trust for you, but rather his trust in his own sex (in general), because he knows how much of a snake guys can be in the dating world.

    Even if he didn't trust you yet, can you really blame him? You've only been dating for 4 months, and you haven't even talked about exclusivity. It takes time to trust people.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i dont think there's anything wrong with it, he's a good friend and he's interested in men. It may be weird to him that a guy is sleeping over but he just has to understand that he's a really good friend and has absolutely no interest in pursuing you.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Whilst I see it completely from your point of view, you have to see it from his.

    Usually when girls say "he's just a friend", don't forget, your boyfriend was once just a friend and he likely wanted to fuck your brains out as a friend. Haha, so guys tend to see other guys who are "just friends" as being the same.

    I know he's gay so it dosent really apply, but, you're just battling the natural mentality of guys to be protective.

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  • Do you have a history of turning gay dudes straight or something?
    Maybe your boyfriend doesn't understand what it means to be gay or he doesn't like the fact you're close to a gay person?
    Yeah, i don't see what the issue is. Also, lesbians and guys don't really have the "friendship" that women and gay dudes have. So that comparison doesn't translate well.

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  • Well - just turn the tables. He had a 20 years long female friend who says that is lesbian and sleepsover. Would you like it or would a part of you be nervous about it nonetheless?

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    • 2mo

      Thanks for the opinion; I've already said I wouldn't have a problem with it. Your question sounds suspicious, as if my guy would lie about a female friend being a lesbian and just wants to have sex with them. To anyone with a brain stem, that's obviously wrong. I'm raising this question on the basis that my guy is not an asshole who would lie about something like that. I certainly wouldn't.

      And anyway, my friend sleeps over all the time; he lives about an hour away and I don't see him as much these days due to work and other stuff. I explained this to my guy. It's not a complicated issue.

    • 2mo

      * correction. My friend DOESN'T sleep over all the time.

What Girls Said 1

  • No the dudes gay and into dick not pussy

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