I'm nearly 20, never had a boyfriend, feel like I'm being judged for my age all the time, what to do?

I'm going to be 20 soon. I've never had a boyfriend, not even held hands, etc. I don't like socialising with people my age, I've been let down too many times, and work with people 4 - 10 years older than me. I don't drink, do drugs or party which has already made life a bit difficult for me. Social drinks happen occasionally with work colleagues and somehow the conversation always steers back to age and when they find out how old I am I feel heavily judged and almost considered a child. However before they knew how old I am they thought I was closer to 24-25. I would honestly like a relationship with someone older than me just because (being frank) I've had kinda a difficult start in life and its made me a lot more mature. I'm kinda pretty and generally shy. My question is: Is there something I'm doing wrong or what do I need to do to stop people being so judgmental of me? Just some general advice would really be appreciated...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think 20 is that old to have not had a relationship yet. but if its something you feel your lacking , I agree it might be time to try and change the situation , you'll have to meet new people and get out there more. and eventually you might find someone to date. there is also online dating and those options if you can put together a good profile and sit at a computer for a while looking through messages and profiles

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I was 19, my youngest friend was 24 and my eldest was 36. I, too, have always been mature for my age and yes, I also got the "shock and horror" responses when I disclosed my age. Just brush it off and let your maturity speak for itself. As far as dating is concerned, if there is someone you like, arrange a group outing, like bowling or something fun and make sure that the person is invited and let them see the true, beautiful person that you are. Or, ask the person out as long as you know for certain that they're single. Sometimes, you just have to take chances.

    I don't think they're being judgmental of your age; just surprised. I've always taken the, "I thought you were older" remarks as compliments. Look at it as being wise beyond your years.

    Good luck. :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • all i can tell you is dont give up , because there is someone out there that will see you for who you are. dont try and be something your not pr something your not ready to be. because all that does is get you into things you want understand and you will be in even more trouble.

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What Girls Said 1

  • it's ok I just turned 20 and never had one either. I'm shy too. I used to be very afraid of guys and never talked to them. But lately I've been trying to make friends with them and it makes me feel more confident around them. I think they were scared of me too but once I said one thing to them then they became talkative. I get to meet their friends and it expands the amount of guys I meet and it's good practice. Im kinda innocent, straight edge, and childish but guys don't seem to mind, some think it's refreshing and kinda poke fun at it. Find some nice guys to befriend without romantic intentions in mind and then you can start to feel more comfortable being around them. Look for friendly down to earth guys. And my extroverted guy friends seem to take me under their wing and find me funny. Lol
    Then when you meet a guy you really like, you'll be less afraid of talking to him.

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