Girls, is there a place for traditional guys in dating anymore?

I'm a traditional guy when it comes to dating and marriage. First of all, I *want* to be married, but not in some vague, far-off land, but rather within the next five years. Second, I want a family with all of the traditional aspects--kids, house, the works. Third, I don't like friends with benefits or any other sort of structured promiscuity. I really want to be in a monogamous relationship.

My problem is that it seems there's no place for that in dating any more. Everyone is so glib and non-committal. They don't want kids, they're not high on marriage, and the notion of commitment scares them to death. Everything is so casual now. What's more, girls seem to be the worst about this, like they think they're proving something by being even more promiscuous and blase than guys.

I've tried some traditional dating avenues like meeting people through my church, but it's a very limited selection of people. I've had friends and family try to fix me up, but apparently they don't think that much of me, judging by who they pick out. So honestly, am I just screwed? Are there any girls out there who are looking for 'traditional,' and if so, where do I find them?


2|0
22

Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems that guys like you are also scarce. I also believe in tradition. All those girls that sleep around and have a friends with benefits situation is because their desperate to get the guy. i have soo many guy friends and nephews who tell me about girls who like them and in a desperate attempt to get the guy, they offer a friends with benefits situation as if that's going to get the guy to commit.

    you have to take in mind you are very young. a lot of the girls and guys in that age group are nowhere near as mature as they used to be 20 years ago. Add to the fact that if you live in a city the maturity level of a person goes up exponentially.

    What i'm saying is, look at the demographic and the age group. If you're expecting the traditional good girl with values and morals in a city. good luck! they say a man living in the city doesn't reach maturity until he's 35! Whereas in rural areas or areas where tradition, family values are instilled, men mature at a younger age.

    just keep looking, don't settle for anything less than what's reasonable for you. you'll never get a girl that will match all the check marks on your list. but one that marks most of them (think the 80/20 rule) then go for it. You'll find her one day.

    PS: women usually mature around 25-29 years of age.

    2|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I agree. Thanks so much for your input. I'm not looking for a perfect girl, just one who's attractive and is interested in marriage and family and having a home. Most girls honestly sound like guys, like they want to date around and travel in their early 20s.

    • 2mo

      Very true. There's nothing wrong with girls traveling. I think it's a wonderful idea. Once you have kids, that literally impossible to do unless you are financially well off. So enjoying your youth by traveling the world is not bad. What i question is that women usually are content with sleeping around with a lot of guys. Not my cup of tea simply because women are more fragile than men. We become more emotionally attached to a man than a man to a woman when sex is involved without commitment.

      You'll find her. Just be patient and focus on having your life together. You'll eventually find her when you least expect it.

    • 2mo

      Thanks. My only thing is that I don't want to wait until I'm 35 to be married like most people seem to do now. The "it can wait" philosophy doesn't sit well with me.

What Girls Said 21

  • There are plenty of girls who want to be "traditional". Also, a lot of girls who are promiscuous and scared of commitment have been screwed over by a guy so they decided to play the game back. However, you have the girls who are achievers and want to broaden their education and become successful. You wanting them to get married and bear your children will get in the way of their plans and make them give up their hopes and dreams because of you or that they don't want to get married in that time span but want to settle down after they get their dream job and degree. You're not screwed in the dating world but looking for marriage while you're 18-24 years old isn't your smartest choice because that's when all the "wifey" women are out exploring college, the world and most importantly, themselves. There's a reason why people say most people settle down between the ages 29 and above because their crazy college life is over and most of them are content with their bachelors degree and new job, have their own place and are most likely financially stable and have more experience vs someone someone in their early twenties fresh out of college. All I can say is don't give up hope and don't force your settling expectations on every woman you meet because she'll reject you physically at the same you already rejected her mentally. There are so many women out there, both the non traditional and traditional type. Besides, you won't find them silly. They don't go in a future housewife club. They'll find you instead while the women you disapprove of will A) only playfully flirt with you B) be you'd potential sex buddy or C) will lose interest at once when you state your future goals and desires.

    1|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I'm not "disapproving" of any women, I'm saying that they disapprove of what I want. And no, I don't want to be married before I'm established, but dating is not marriage. I have to be looking now if I want to find.

      Also, I'd like to meet someone in college if possible, because I've heard that dating after college is very difficult. Besides, I don't want to get married at 35 and have kids at 40. Waiting that long would be a horrible outcome because of all the problems that creates.

  • To be honest, pretty much my thoughts for me... I'd rather live in an older generation where everyone was much more respectfull not to mentioned well dress meaning hardly any exposure :/ to sum up, you should eventually find the right girl, perhaps not today, nor tomorrow but someday you should be bound to

    0|1
    0|0
  • Here's the problem with traditional guys (aside from sexism, which is usually the other problem...): they're pussies. They aren't assertive, they don't understand women, and they like to believe in a world that no longer exists.

    You know what? You can find plenty of girls who are happy to wait until marriage for sex. Secular, non-traditional girls too. But your likely problem is a lack of assertiveness and an idealistic (i. e., not based in reality) understanding of women. Fix those and you'll find a girl.

    1|0
    3|3
    • 2mo

      You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. Your presemptuousness--combined with the stupidity of those presumptions--shows that you understand even less about the world than me.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Yeah, I know, you're one of these people who acts like a total ass and then tries to excuse it by claiming you're "blunt" or "honest." All you're doing is grinding an axe, and that has nothing to do with anyone else.

      If I have the moral high ground over you, it's by virtue of your own foibles, not by anything I've done by design. I don't even know you. All I'm saying to you is that name-calling someone and presuming things about them when you don't even know them is immature in the extreme. If you want to be a helpful, productive person, you really need to re-examine your behavior.

      You seem to have some underlying anger at traditional guys, or maybe just at guys in general. Just because a guy is traditional doesn't make him a "pussy" or unassertive. In fact, most traditional guys believe in the "tradition" of courting women. Maybe you assume all traditional guys are seething losers, but that's just your own bias, not reality. We're just guys who aren't into the hookup lifestyle.

    • 2mo

      I don't think you've ever actually met any traditional guys. The traditional guys I've know all either went into the military or ranching, so 'pussy' isn't really a word I'd use to describe them. They're usually the most direct and assertive of all, because they see it as their role to ask women out and initiate relationships.

  • I'm not a traditional girl, but I can see wanting all those things some day, too. The thing about your situation is that you're young, and most girls your age aren't ready for anything like settled life. Most people are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do. So you may have to keep looking and wait a few years until you're older.

    My advice is to not give up, just keep making yourself better and prepare for when you do meet the right girl. Practice your social skills by dating (and getting laid lol) so that you can kill it when you meet the right girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • see i find this so sad, being a millennial sucks, i just want the dating/ romance they had in the 80s and 90s. Born in the wrong decade. I want exactly what you described and it makes me sad that now i don't think my dream guy is out there.
    :((

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well, I want a traditional guy who shows his affection (pretty much my taste in one sentence 😂😂)

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yes that's what I prefer

    0|1
    0|0
  • Nope you have zero chance. If you don't find some poor girl in church to be married to you, you will die alone.

    1|0
    3|1
  • CHRISTIAN MINGLE ;)

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      What does that mean?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      It's fine, I understand why some girls are so focused on school. I just know career-focused girls are a dead end for me.

    • 2mo

      My career will be helping kids minimally. I want to be a child therapist :)

  • Most of the girls I know are traditional so just look harder I guess

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Where do you live? I don't know any girl at my college who is really interested in what I want.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Yeah, I agree with that, college girls are very liberal. Most of them get angry at the very thought of ever being submissive to a man.

    • 2mo

      Dude don't worry they'll grow up soon just wait for that

  • Yes I am traditional as well!! 🙋🙋🙋

    0|1
    0|0
  • Absolutely!! I hope you find her <3

    0|1
    0|0
  • No! My husband didn't find me until he was 23. We weren't married until 10 days after he turned 24. Give it time! If you try to hard to make it happen it won't and you'll only be disappointed. Just let it happen naturally, you will come across her 😊

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      That's cool! But your husband couldn't just wait, he had to up out and find you.

    • 2mo

      Lol actually he wasn't looking for me. We met on this website, and if you know him, you'd know before me he would have never dated anybody he met online. But we met on here and just clicked. He had actually given up on finding a partner just as I had before we met.

  • Of course.

    And no, most women don't have casual sex.

    Anyway maybe try Online Dating & categorizing by religion or traditionalism.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Online dating seems like a bad thing, though. Aren't most people on those sites pretty desperate?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Men will pay out of their ears to enter relationships. Women won't

    • 2mo

      Sure they will, it's just that women and men "pay" in different ways.

  • I mean I don't know I see everyone getting married on my feed when I had a Facebook and everyone having babies too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Where do you live? I don't know any 20 year-olds who are getting married.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I'm from the south, too, and no one is getting married in my age group. Maybe it's just the college crowd I'm in.

    • 2mo

      I suppose. Also, people are marrying several years later than they used to. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

  • I think that in today's day and age women are way more focused on their education and career than with love, romance and marriage, especially in their early to mid-twenties. Let's also remember that marrying before 30 pretty much sets you up for divorce, and people know that, so they wait. I'm not 100% sure but I think that women in their early to mid-thirties are more into the love/romance/dating thing.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      "marrying before 30 pretty much sets you up for divorce..."

      That's a pretty ridiculous statement.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I wouldn't want to be married before I'm established in a career, but if I wait until then to look for someone, I'll already be getting a bit old to start a family by the time we go through the courtship and marriage phase.

    • 2mo

      I know what you mean. I struggle with that myself. I would really love to have kids in the next 2 years, but I'll be in my senior year of college then. Plus I doubt I'll be married at that time.

  • You just need to find a girl who's also traditional! She's definitely out there, try hanging out in new or different places and areas

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Where, though? The girls at my college are either career-focused and essentially asexual, or they think the idea of traditional dating is stupid.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I want good grades too, but I think it's narrow-minded to put off such an important aspect of life during our college years. I don't want kids tomorrow, but waiting indefinitely is a bad idea because we give up on the things we put off.

    • 2mo

      Good point. I mean I try to have a balance but if putting off men for a few years makes me an A student instead of B I'll do it! I'm friendly if a guy talks to me but I no longer try to keep the convo going or go up to new people.
      My mindset is kinda "get in and get out"

      Maybe there's a cute girl in your class who'll be in a group project with you.

  • i used to want that sort of thing then i was unfortunately exposed to some horrid people and now the best route is to be single for life

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      You really think all men are horrible abusers?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I know what it's like to be hurt, but there are decent people in the world. Finding them is the hard part.

    • 2mo

      it is when they horrid ones won't leave me alone.

  • I'm traditional. just wait for the right person. shell come along

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      The only problem with that is that guys have to be the ones to make things happen. We're the ones who have to seek out the girl and woo her, so I have to be more proactive than just waiting. I need to start looking in the right places if I want to find her.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      lol, ouch at * pretty girls at the gym in spandex don't exactly scream "housewife" *

      Not all of us wear spandex. It also depends on what time you go to the gym. Mid-morning, I barely see any women in spandex there. Talking about 8-10am.

    • 2mo

      @Smmyskittles I mean, I love looking at beautiful girls in tight outfits, but I don't get the feeling that they'd be interested in what I want.

  • i have traditional views too

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes sweetie there is.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Any thoughts on where to look?

Loading...