I'm a traditional guy when it comes to dating and marriage. First of all, I *want* to be married, but not in some vague, far-off land, but rather within the next five years. Second, I want a family with all of the traditional aspects--kids, house, the works. Third, I don't like friends with benefits or any other sort of structured promiscuity. I really want to be in a monogamous relationship.
My problem is that it seems there's no place for that in dating any more. Everyone is so glib and non-committal. They don't want kids, they're not high on marriage, and the notion of commitment scares them to death. Everything is so casual now. What's more, girls seem to be the worst about this, like they think they're proving something by being even more promiscuous and blase than guys.
I've tried some traditional dating avenues like meeting people through my church, but it's a very limited selection of people. I've had friends and family try to fix me up, but apparently they don't think that much of me, judging by who they pick out. So honestly, am I just screwed? Are there any girls out there who are looking for 'traditional,' and if so, where do I find them?
It seems that guys like you are also scarce. I also believe in tradition. All those girls that sleep around and have a friends with benefits situation is because their desperate to get the guy. i have soo many guy friends and nephews who tell me about girls who like them and in a desperate attempt to get the guy, they offer a friends with benefits situation as if that's going to get the guy to commit.
you have to take in mind you are very young. a lot of the girls and guys in that age group are nowhere near as mature as they used to be 20 years ago. Add to the fact that if you live in a city the maturity level of a person goes up exponentially.
What i'm saying is, look at the demographic and the age group. If you're expecting the traditional good girl with values and morals in a city. good luck! they say a man living in the city doesn't reach maturity until he's 35! Whereas in rural areas or areas where tradition, family values are instilled, men mature at a younger age.
just keep looking, don't settle for anything less than what's reasonable for you. you'll never get a girl that will match all the check marks on your list. but one that marks most of them (think the 80/20 rule) then go for it. You'll find her one day.
PS: women usually mature around 25-29 years of age.
There are plenty of girls who want to be "traditional". Also, a lot of girls who are promiscuous and scared of commitment have been screwed over by a guy so they decided to play the game back. However, you have the girls who are achievers and want to broaden their education and become successful. You wanting them to get married and bear your children will get in the way of their plans and make them give up their hopes and dreams because of you or that they don't want to get married in that time span but want to settle down after they get their dream job and degree. You're not screwed in the dating world but looking for marriage while you're 18-24 years old isn't your smartest choice because that's when all the "wifey" women are out exploring college, the world and most importantly, themselves. There's a reason why people say most people settle down between the ages 29 and above because their crazy college life is over and most of them are content with their bachelors degree and new job, have their own place and are most likely financially stable and have more experience vs someone someone in their early twenties fresh out of college. All I can say is don't give up hope and don't force your settling expectations on every woman you meet because she'll reject you physically at the same you already rejected her mentally. There are so many women out there, both the non traditional and traditional type. Besides, you won't find them silly. They don't go in a future housewife club. They'll find you instead while the women you disapprove of will A) only playfully flirt with you B) be you'd potential sex buddy or C) will lose interest at once when you state your future goals and desires.
To be honest, pretty much my thoughts for me... I'd rather live in an older generation where everyone was much more respectfull not to mentioned well dress meaning hardly any exposure :/ to sum up, you should eventually find the right girl, perhaps not today, nor tomorrow but someday you should be bound to
Here's the problem with traditional guys (aside from sexism, which is usually the other problem...): they're pussies. They aren't assertive, they don't understand women, and they like to believe in a world that no longer exists.
You know what? You can find plenty of girls who are happy to wait until marriage for sex. Secular, non-traditional girls too. But your likely problem is a lack of assertiveness and an idealistic (i. e., not based in reality) understanding of women. Fix those and you'll find a girl.
I'm not a traditional girl, but I can see wanting all those things some day, too. The thing about your situation is that you're young, and most girls your age aren't ready for anything like settled life. Most people are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do. So you may have to keep looking and wait a few years until you're older.
My advice is to not give up, just keep making yourself better and prepare for when you do meet the right girl. Practice your social skills by dating (and getting laid lol) so that you can kill it when you meet the right girl.
see i find this so sad, being a millennial sucks, i just want the dating/ romance they had in the 80s and 90s. Born in the wrong decade. I want exactly what you described and it makes me sad that now i don't think my dream guy is out there. :((
I think that in today's day and age women are way more focused on their education and career than with love, romance and marriage, especially in their early to mid-twenties. Let's also remember that marrying before 30 pretty much sets you up for divorce, and people know that, so they wait. I'm not 100% sure but I think that women in their early to mid-thirties are more into the love/romance/dating thing.
No! My husband didn't find me until he was 23. We weren't married until 10 days after he turned 24. Give it time! If you try to hard to make it happen it won't and you'll only be disappointed. Just let it happen naturally, you will come across her 😊