Should I just tell the guy the truth?

This guy who is closer to my age has been asking why we ant official , we've already have sex and share a lot in common. I like him but I feel like me being unemployed and busy is holding me back. I think i have ptsd of my ex husband calling a broke ass bitch and " no one will want a broke dumb ass like you: its kinda stuck with me. should i tell him?


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Most Helpful Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • How do you expect any relationship to work if you won't communicate and be honest? Those are the most important aspects of it.

    Also, it doesn't take a job to be faithful, kind, fair, committed, and loving to somebody. It's okay if you're going through a rough time with unemployment. I would like to think he would understand that, and know that this is not something you don't take likely and will understand your circumstances. Right n ow, this guy is ASKING you why you guys are not official, which means, he's clearly very interested in you. Either let him go so he can move on, or be honest with him and work things out with him.

    You need to live your life as you, not as a victim of what your ex said, becuase remember, he's an ex for a reason; therefore his opinions of you or any influences he has over you shouldn't have that much power. This guy you're currently seeing is NOT your ex. So, it's not fair to equate him to whatever it was you went through in the past. Give HIM a chance, and make peace with your past.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Your husband was a verbally abusive asshole no guy really cares about how much money you make just be honest with him relationships are partly about helping eachother work through this kind of emotional stress (at least as far as im concerned).

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  • play open cards with him. you may find that he has not got any problem with that and you are restricting yorself

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  • Tell him. It wouldn't be right not to.

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  • Would you prefer him to discover himself?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Tell him. He deserves to know whats going on

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  • don't tell guys everything make your self a mystery

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  • No do not tell him your issue with your ex. That's something you need to work on yourself. You don't want to give him a wrong idea or anything.
    However you can tell him about you being unemployed and busy is holding you back from having a relationship. That's your circumstances which he needs to face eventually.

    I'm in the exactly the same situation as you. I like the guy I'm dating, but I still live with my parents and I been focusing more on my career etc, I don't feel like I'm ready for a relationship yet.
    ALSO, I had an abusive asshole ex as well who told me exactly the same shit your ex told you. That's what abusers do. Do not listen to him do not let his shitty worthless talk affect you in any way. You need to work on your self esteem you need to learn to appreciate and value yourself. I was struggling from that too. My ex would tell me no guy will take me seriously, and all nasty things. Trust me you don't want to even waste your time on what you ex had to say about you. He's an abuser. He said that to manipulate you.
    And do not discuss this issue with your current boyfriend. I mean you can share that you had an abusive boyfriend and you been quiet struggling from it,, but do not say that 'YOU NOT SURE IF YOU READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF THAT' I'm sure your guy is super sweet and nice but I wouldn't say that to my guy... It sounds like I have too much issue going on.. It just not attractive.
    You need to first work on your self esteem issue. And your now boyfriend cannot really help you overcoming it. You need to do it yourself for you and your current boyfriends sake.

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