Insecurity or intuition?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4+ years (with some breaks in between) and we have a child together. He has a female "best friend". I've been known to be a jealous girlfriend before and when I found out about her I lost it. I am supposed to be his best friend, not her. In my defence I only found out about her after we moved in together. I gave him an ultimatum (it was wrong, I know) but he still kept talking to her behind my back. She's a nudie model and calls it "art". I accidentally found out he's been looking up nude images of her. I even suspect he was having a wank while doing so. I have this constant, nagging feeling that he has this unrequited pathetic crush on her (she's been in a commited relationship with a guy for 10 years or so). Obviously he denies it (why would he admit to it?). He calls me immature and insecure whenever I mention it. Am I really being insecure or is he just settling with me because he can't have her?


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What Guys Said 1

  • See where jealousy leads you, down the rabbit hole. Its just going to keep getting worse for you the more you worry about it.

    This guy is clearly taking things a little too far checking out his friend naked and having a little fantasy about it while not the best idea is probably all it really it is.

    I would stop worrying about it and let the cards fall where they may. You will be much happier.

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    • 2mo

      You're right. I'm definitely over thinking it. It's just that no matter how hard I try I can't get rid of that feeling that he'd rather be with her.

    • 2mo

      I've been in situations like this before, and it could be a number of things, but probably not him specifically wanting to be with her. There could be absolutely no reason for it other than he's a guy. He might want more out of your current relationship and is too much of a pussy to talk about it. Its worth a chat, but I wouldn't really get too worked up over it as hard as that sounds.

    • 2mo

      How do I approach him about what is it that he's lacking in the relationship? He doesn't seem to have any other emotions other than hungry, tired, and having to poop. He thinks guys shouldn't have complex emotions like women do.

What Girls Said 1

  • You really have to consider if he was taking care of all your needs even while she was in the picture. If he wasn't time to move on.

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    • 2mo

      To be honest he doesn't even talk to her that much anymore. She knows I don't like their bizarre friendship. We've been through some stuff but we're good for the most part now. I think what bothers me the most that HE calls her HIS best friend but SHE would just say they're long time friend but wouldn't go as far as to call him HER best friend.

    • 2mo

      I don't think its something big to worry about then.

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