Ok so hear me out on this one please. Been dating this girl for about 4 months now and we both like and care for each other a lot already especially her. In fact, we have already booked a trip to Cali together in January since we both have family there.
Im a very conservative guy that finds several things very unattractive on a girl that I care for including tattoos, facial piercing, smoking or smoking weed and skimpy dressing.
Since i I have dated this girl she has given me no reason to be mad at her for these things other than she took a few hits off a joint from a friend of mine at a house party and occasionally dressing too skimpy, which makes me feel a little uncomfortable in public. She also told me she has thought about a tattoo for 4 years now in remembrance of her grandmother, but has none to this day.
She told me or has made comments that she's not against pot and only smokes on a rare occassion or smokes a few cigarettes when she gets super drunk.
So I happened to look through her old pics on Instagram and can tell that about 3 or 4 years ago she had a very different style with a nose ring and posted about tattoos she wanted. I'm not sure if this was just a college phase or if that is actually her true style and lifestyle.
In no way do I want to control her or try and change her if this is truly her style because I'm not going to try. If it's all a past thing I don't care but, should I be honest and tell her that all of these things (smoking, tattoos, piercings or skimpy dressing) will be a problem for me in the future just so she knows and can make her own choices depending on what's important to her?
Most Helpful Girl
I'd only bring it up if it happens. Even in that case, don't come out with a "I don't like it when you wear skimpy clothing." remark. Try something a bit more laid back, such as complimenting her on days she dresses more conservatively. If you find her one night in something that makes you uncomfortable, make a small note of how a bit more clothing would make you feel better. Even if it's just a jacket. As for tattoos I wouldn't worry about it. I've never had a desire for a tattoo, but love looking and reposting them on my social media platforms. I have a friend who has two, and she agreed as well. People don't normally have a desire for tattoos unless they're meaningful such as her grandmother's remembrance and also are thought about for months before actually getting the ink. I wouldn't sweat it honestly. As for drugs you might just have to bite the bullet on that one. I don't use anything besides alcohol and it honestly just a stress reliever. Unless she's going 'overboard' with it, I wouldn't say anything about that either.0
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Most Helpful Guy
Damn man, you need to lighten up a little bit, or find yourself a nice girl from church.
Regardless never ever try to change someone you are dating, they will resent you for it if not right away, eventually. I wouldn't bring anything up unless its really bothering the shit out of you.0