What's the point of having sex with a man who doesn't care about me?

Many men want to have sex by the third or fourth time we hang out. For me, I feel we don't know each other well enough to care about each other and the sex would only be out of pure sexual interest. It makes me feel like an object. I would hope to make a connection and care about the man before I have sex, but it never seems to get that far because for some reason the man doesn't think I'm interested in him. Isn't it obvious if we're steadily hanging out and having a good time together?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just curious, if you are having a good time, do you communicate to him that you're enjoying spending him with him, or enjoying his company, or something similar? As much as we wish we were, we're not mind readers. Even if you're having a good time it's possible that you're not letting him know how much of a good time.

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    • 2mo

      Oh, and yes, if you want to wait until you know them better and have more a connection, just communicate that to them. And if they have a problem with it well then they clearly aren't worth putting out for.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I'm not a fan of moving fast. I believe that's how people get into shitty relarionships - they didn't take the time to consider the person before making decisions

    • 2mo

      Yup, very valid point. So stay your course and you'll find someone who's good with moving at your pace.

Most Helpful Girl

  • they are using a stupid excuse to not make themselves look like an idiot. a guy who truly wanted you for you wouldn't do that. try saying "im not comfortable with it right now" some guys just dont know your limit, and you need to voice that. some will wait for you, others will just use that lame excuse. thats a filter.

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What Guys Said 2

  • For fun. There doesn't need to be more of a point than that even though some like to make a big deal out of it. If men don't get laid by the 3-4th get-together we assume we got tossed in the friend zone and move on to get our sex/fun elsewhere, as you have noticed.

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    • 2mo

      Why don't you just ask instead of assume?

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    • 2mo

      Ugh that's so sad. That's exactly why I'm scared of having sex with anyone. I don't want to have to do it to prove to someone I like them, and then still risk the chance that they don't want me anyway. I'm basically giving myself away. It just doesn't sit well with me. I shouldn't have to be used just to keep a man interested.

    • 2mo

      That's why you don't think of it as being used unless you just want to depress yourself and see it as glass-half-empty. Think of it as just 2 people having fun. If more comes of it then cool if not oh well, the world will not end, just don't get too attached before something is made from it and better luck with the next one.

  • If I'm still with a person by 3rd date, I have them figured out. so sex by 3rd date is required. Bear in mind, we would talk a lot between dates,

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    • 2mo

      You're that good you know someone in and out by the third date? What if the other person doesn't know you?

    • 2mo

      I know them enough to pursue a relationship.

    • 2mo

      You don't think that's moving too fast? What do you do if the other person doesn't feel the same?

What Girls Said 2

  • No point at all.

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  • I HATE having sex too early. I like to wait till the 10th time to even hook up. Sex to me is bland and boring if their isn't a connection and chemistry between us

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