Would you get into a relationship out of loneliness?

All of my friends are in serious relationships right now. I'm just working and going to school. I don't have friends at school and the girls I work with already have their established friends outside of work. I've been feeling very lonely lately but I've been trying to ignore it by throwing myself into just work and school. My friends suggested I get a boyfriend so I'm not so lonely but I don't know how it feel about using someone like that. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope. Been there, done that. You should date someone because you want to, not just so you can date for the sake of dating. It doesn't make you happier and in fact you can still feel lonely. Plus you hurt the other person.

    I was also used as a rebound recently with someone I genuinely liked and it's a very shitty feeling. You feel used and as if everything they said was a lie to manipulate you. Generally they leave if their ex comes back or if they found someone "better".
    It can also put you in their shoes.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Same thing here. I've honestly thought about it, but I know if I had a boyfriend that would be the only close relationship I would have. I'm at an age where I should be hanging out with a lot of people, having fun experiences, and the seriousness of a relationship really isn't something I want right now. Like you said, it feels unfair to use someone to distract me from loneliness when they're probably looking for a life partner. Right now, I'm just trying to distract myself with making as many new friends as possible and getting into some hobbies. It's super lonely, but I think I'll wait until I feel more independent and complete by myself to get a boyfriend. It totally sucks, but try finding things you're 100% happy to do by yourself. Join a book club. Volunteer. Distract yourself so much you forget what you're distracting yourself from. And hopefully a guy will come along after that. Hang in there!

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What Guys Said 14

  • Do you let your friends dictate everything to you in life? When they tell you that you should get a boyfriend you will? When they tell you this profession isn't worth doing? You'll leave it? When they tell you to jump off the roof, would you?

    Here's a lesson for life, it's good to have friends but family is more important than friends, your friends in couple of years would chosen different paths and get busy, while your family would still be there.

    Bottom line, don't act on what others tell you to do, you've a brain, think and decide for yourself, so you have only yourself to blame for it.

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    • 2mo

      My family is all narrowed and have their own lives. I'm alone

    • 2mo

      *married

    • 2mo

      Your family may be narrow minded but by the end of the day they would still be there for you because you guys are family.

      The bottom point was not to be hasty and act upon any ludicrous ideas given to you by your friends.

  • But you're not using them? You do have a right to want to be with someone - for whatever reason. Wanting to abolish loneliness does not equate to using a person. You want their company but if they remain with you then that means they want your company as well.

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  • Well I'm very lonely and I do want a relationship so bad. And I think it's natural to desire a relationship when you are lonely. But I think the important thing is don't just date someone to say you're taken. Be patient and find someone that you love. It's hard, and believe me I know, but it will be so much more satisfying 😊

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  • Yeah it's called a rebound. I've done it before.

    However I think your friends mean for you to look for a guy and actually be with him for him, not just for *someone* to fill in a void.

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  • Nope that is the worst reason to get into a relationship. You put aside what you really want in a guy and just opt in for the next one that's interested. Get a dog if your lonely.

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    • 2mo

      I have a dog lol

    • 2mo

      Lol spend more time with your dog. Make friends either online or real life.

  • That's one reason why lots of people get into relationships, fear of loneliness , I think you should only date then if you have a good connection with that person

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  • the way guys are now especialy around your age, this is not a good idea, unless you are ok with having sex with them relatively quickly

    You will only have momentary relief. If you aren't looking for a boyfriend, or want one for love and companionship, you might be setting yourself up for failure

    I say, try dating a man, your friends recommend, see how that goes

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  • Isn't that why people seek companionship to stave off loniless...

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  • Find someone who is equally lonely and then just be lonely together. Its hard thou

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  • I would do it if I could. I am very lonely, but I couldn't get a girlfriend even if I was the only man on this planet

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  • you just need to be above a 7/10 and guys will approach you and you'll have a boyfriend in no time. be hot. that simple

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    • 2mo

      Guys do approach me. Just not quality guys.

    • 2mo

      LOL how can you determine whether or not someone is "quality' just on first glance. you just sound judgmental.

      the guys approaching you are the guys in your league

    • 2mo

      The guys approaching me just want sex, that's what makes them not quality.

  • That's just desperation, so no.

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  • No. That's just terrible.!

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  • I used to be kind of like that for some time, after coming to the states, felt pretty hopeless. have you considered joining some school activities

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What Girls Said 10

  • If you are really lonely, you need to seek friends who you have things in common with. I was really lonely so I Started dating but I dated a few guys before settling. You don't have to settle down with the first guy. You can use the loneliness as a reason to go on more dates with lots of people, and make new friends

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  • This is the worst reason to get into a relationship, because you're settling for less than what will give you long-term satisfaction just to feel better right now. That won't end well - and it will end very quickly.

    The best thing you can do to feel less lonely is get involved in a group that's relevant to your interests. If you don't think you have any groups that are, then try something new. If you get involved with people who enjoy what you enjoy, you may meet someone special who already has one big thing in common with you :)

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  • Nope. Not if I didn't feel it. Not even with someone awesome. I've had really great guys wanna be my boyfriend but was always like "meh.. don't wanna be tied down".

    I'm never lonelier than when I'm intimate with someone who feels things for me I could never feel for him..

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  • Just get a puppy and buy him sweaters.
    i.ebayimg.com/.../s-l1000.jpg

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  • I feel the same even though I'm 15. Everyone is getting into serious relationships and I'm over hear all quiet and bored studying

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  • Bad advice, Bad friends.
    Just do what makes you happy regardless if you have friends or not. It's wrong of your friends to pressure you into just getting a boyfriend for the sake of not being lonely. A relationship is a big thing and it doesn't seem like it's something you're wanting right now.

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  • No, I'm never lonely I've got my nugget.

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  • Nah it's pointless

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  • Not again, as I lived to regret it, we also attract the wrong people when we're lonely/vulnerable best to stay strong and struggle through until u meet someone right or get out and date/play the field

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  • No way, I'd find things to do on my own, ya never know.. You could develope a life of your own (outside of school and work) and a guy may come along naturally and you won't have anything to feel guilty about. Also, by finding your own things to do and meeting new people along the way, you wouldn't have as hard of a time of the relationship fails.

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    • 2mo

      I'm not sure what I would do

    • 2mo

      These may sound lame.. But just go to community events, maybe get on a commitee, have certain things scheduled for specific days of the week. Like a list of three or four options and based on your day just pick one of them to do. One day, I wrote: 1) try a New Mexican dish
      2) find a blue slurpee
      3) rent a paddle boat on a lake
      4) try a new coffee in a cafe
      A friend from work asked my plans and I listed those options, she then spent the day driving from gas station to gas station looking for slurpee a with me and we even tried carnetas at a hole in the wall restaurant that I regular at now...
      The next day she asked my plans and I told her my four options and few other coeworkers joined us. It was a small list I started on a lonely day that lead to new group of friends from work.

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