My boyfriend's personality is like Jekyll and Hyde?



I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and it may not seem like a long time, but we've been through a lot together (my step-father passed away, etc). He's literally the nicest guy I know and everyone I know loves him! He does everything he can to make me feel loved and is never even in a bad mood.

That is, until something happens that makes his temper flare... this has happened about 4 times. Recently, he found out that I put an "inappropriate" photo on Instagram. He called me a whore, slut, told me I'd be nobody without him, said I embarrassed him, threatened to embarrass me publicly, threatened to get his EX girlfriend to call me and tell me I'm a whore..., amongst MANY other things. He has resorted to telling me I have no friends and nobody likes me because I'm fucked up, that he will ruin my life and reputation, that he'd call other girls.. the list goes on! I don't really say much during this time.

He always apologizes afterwards and tells me he'll never lash out at me again, rationalizes the things he says and tells me they aren't true at all, and it's just that he can't control his temper... but the damage is done and I don't forget the things he says. I've threatened to break up with him 2 times before this and tonight I actually did.

I'm just so confused because normally he is SUCH a sweetheart and goes out of his way all the time to make me happy constantly. He tells me it hurts his heart to hear me cry and he never wants me to be sad, but he promised me he wouldn't do it again.

Should I forget about him, try to help him, make him take counselling if he wants to be with me?

I just can't take the heartbreak anymore.. it hurts me so much and makes me depressed that the person I love the most says such cruel things.

Thanks guys!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get out of this relationship now. I used to be like him though not as bad, and if you don't get rid of him he will erode your confidence, your self esteem and you'll become an empty shell of yourself.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • His reaction is scary, totally OTT and unnecessary. He clearly likes things his way or no way. He uses abusive language to "punch" you metaphorically so that you don't dare do that again. He is the type of man who controls through abusive language to make you feel small and irrelevant. I think the way you communicate with each other is divisive and designed to really hit home so I swerve any reunion as I don't think it is likely to improve. I think you are a step away from becoming physical with each other.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You absolutely did the right thing in breaking up with him. His behavior is abusive and completely intolerable. If you stayed with him it would eventually end with your life in ruins. I hope that you have learned that guys do not get a second chance after being verbally or physically abusive.

    Should you try to help him? I don't think so. He's already taken too much from you. It's his responsibility to get his anger under control, and who knows when that will happen, if ever.

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  • My mom's ex boyfriend was the same way and cutting him out of her life was the best thing she could have done. If I were in a similar situation I'd let them take counselling first and see where it goes but remember, your happiness comes first.

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What Girls Said 2

  • The 'nice guy' and 'nasty guy' are not separate, remember that! Any man who says stuff like that to a woman, let alone one he is meant to love-is NOT a nice person, even if they have 'good days'. You will probably find that the nastiness shows itself more and more as time goes on. I'm sorry but this is not the sort of thing that can be 'fixed' and certainly not by you forgiving that sort of behaviour. What next? Is he gonna hit you one day and then be sorry about it? Would you forgive that? You might say 'of course not!' but look at how you've already let him treat you, is it that big of a step from that to a smack? Sorry but you need to leave him and you need to stay gone, you deserve better... above all, you deserve someone sane.

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  • What the actual hell
    Thats a sociopath.
    Please dont subject yourself to it.

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