I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and it may not seem like a long time, but we've been through a lot together (my step-father passed away, etc). He's literally the nicest guy I know and everyone I know loves him! He does everything he can to make me feel loved and is never even in a bad mood.
That is, until something happens that makes his temper flare... this has happened about 4 times. Recently, he found out that I put an "inappropriate" photo on Instagram. He called me a whore, slut, told me I'd be nobody without him, said I embarrassed him, threatened to embarrass me publicly, threatened to get his EX girlfriend to call me and tell me I'm a whore..., amongst MANY other things. He has resorted to telling me I have no friends and nobody likes me because I'm fucked up, that he will ruin my life and reputation, that he'd call other girls.. the list goes on! I don't really say much during this time.
He always apologizes afterwards and tells me he'll never lash out at me again, rationalizes the things he says and tells me they aren't true at all, and it's just that he can't control his temper... but the damage is done and I don't forget the things he says. I've threatened to break up with him 2 times before this and tonight I actually did.
I'm just so confused because normally he is SUCH a sweetheart and goes out of his way all the time to make me happy constantly. He tells me it hurts his heart to hear me cry and he never wants me to be sad, but he promised me he wouldn't do it again.
Should I forget about him, try to help him, make him take counselling if he wants to be with me?
I just can't take the heartbreak anymore.. it hurts me so much and makes me depressed that the person I love the most says such cruel things.
Most Helpful Guy
Get out of this relationship now. I used to be like him though not as bad, and if you don't get rid of him he will erode your confidence, your self esteem and you'll become an empty shell of yourself.1
Most Helpful Girl
His reaction is scary, totally OTT and unnecessary. He clearly likes things his way or no way. He uses abusive language to "punch" you metaphorically so that you don't dare do that again. He is the type of man who controls through abusive language to make you feel small and irrelevant. I think the way you communicate with each other is divisive and designed to really hit home so I swerve any reunion as I don't think it is likely to improve. I think you are a step away from becoming physical with each other.1