Girls, why do you get so upset at the idea of a guy dating younger girls?

I'm 24, and the girl I just started dating is 17 (yes, it's legal). I told two of my female friends about her, and they both acted somewhat derisive when they're usually very supportive of me. As in, I told them about how I'd really fallen for this new girl, and when I told then her age, they tried to tell me how bad of an idea it is for me to be with her.

I truly adore this girl, but apparently I've hit some kind of nerve with my female friends. The thing is, girls my own age want to date older guys. They look at me as leftovers, whereas younger girls see me as a desirable guy. So as I see it, fair is fair. Girls my age can date older guys, and I can date younger girls.


0|0
23

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know of any women in my neck of the woods who would get upset over that. It's actually the norm around here. My dad is 7 years older than my mother. My niece's husband is 6 years older than her.

    There's a couple who use to run a gas station around here, happiest marriage I've ever seen, and he's a good 18 years older than her. No one bats an eye. In fact, they're considered pillars of the community. Most men are 3 - 7 years older than their wives unless they were high school or college sweethearts, and above 7 years doesn't turn any heads as long as the woman was 18 before they went on their first unchaperoned date.

    What bothers me is that the reverse is frowned upon. When I was 13 I was dating 18 year olds and as long we were closely chaperoned (i. e. my parents or brothers had to be standing right there, watching us talk in the front yard from the living room window was considered too far out of sight) no one said a thing. When I turned 23 I kept the same age gap only I was the older of the two and, despite both of us being adults, people acted like I was dating a little boy.

    In my entire life I've never dated a man over the age of 25 and if my boyfriend, who is 23, and I want to avoid stares and behind the back remarks we can't even hold hands or correct someone who assumes I'm his older sister or aunt.

    But it doesn't seem to matter for same sex couples. My first girlfriend was older than my mother. The people who didn't accept us took issue with us being a same sex couple. None of them said anything about the age, and no one who accepted us said anything about the age.

    My last girlfriend was young enough for me to have given birth to (months before high school graduation, but still), in fact she graduated only two years ahead of a former classmate's son, and it was the same thing. If they didn't accept us it was because we were both women. If they did accept us age didn't factor in.

    So it doesn't bother the women around here, but it bothers both sexes if the woman is significantly older than the man.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 22

  • Well because it is like Britney Spears song "I am not a girl, not yet a woman" guys have 3 phases in their life they are childish and idiot , then they became a teenager and learn how to get girls and when they become adults they are all the sudden searching for the woman with whom they are going to marry and have kids with ! Girls on the other side have multiple phases in their life ! First they are only girly girls and innocent in all aspects , they play barbie and housing all day and have their best friend that gets to met their entire family ! Then they grow up and are no longer called girls but young lady , and not only that but they win the responsability that guys do not have to take care of themselves because at the age 12 to 14 a girl starts their period and they have to watch for themselves in case of a guy want sex with them , not to mention not all the girls are ready most of them do under pressure but the first night is the night they will never forget (believe me I still trying to forget mine) then we become adults and do exactly the same as adult guys do ! Now the reason why we get so mad is because us as girls know that process and how hard is to be one and yeah I did not mention all in the life of a girl but our job as women and older girls is to protect the younger ones from any guy that might break their heart , get them pregnant or even hurt them ! Which we see as much in a relationship between an older guy and a younger girl !

    0|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I'm not a player, though, and she's more likely to break my heart than I am to break hers! She's gorgeous.

    • 1mo

      probably too good for you, then again she is dating you so looks might be there but brain isn't ^_^

  • 24 - 17 = 7 That's not really a big age difference compared to 60 - 18 = 42. I wouldn't worry about the age difference after all it's only numbers. If both of y'all feel comfortable with each other then by all means date away!

    Recently at a few of the bars I hang out at I've been getting quite a bit of attention from 18 & 19 year old guys and I've been taking them up on it. It's wonderful having the attention of a young man and they keep coming back for more.

    I wouldn't get upset over an age difference, you date whom you want to date and that's it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Dude ignore them!!! Wanna know something? I was 17 and my Husband was 23 when we met! And we actually (believe it or not) met on THIS website! Our relationship was long distant for 5 months, the first time I saw him was when I flew to Ohio to move in with him! Everyone told me don't do it and how crazy I was and all that, but look! We've been married for a year this coming October 28, and we have a beautiful 7 month old! Your story is less crazier than ours, so you especially don't have an excuse to listen to them lol DONT LISTEN TO THEM. If you adore her, go get her!!!

    0|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      That's a great story, congrats to y'all!

    • 2mo

      Thank you!!! Im happy for you and your girlfriend! 😊

  • There is nothing wrong with age differences. Especially because women usually mature faster than men. Maybe the other girls "friends" in your life are a little jealous. When you are older (like me) 6-7 years is not that big of deal at all!!! Actually when you get a little older, you might find yourself spinning it around a little, and like women 6-7 years older. We all have our likes/dislikes, and there is nothing wrong with that if it is a legal relationship. Best of Luck

    0|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      But why would my friends be jealous? Neither one of them wants me.

    • 2mo

      I am not sure why they would be jealous if you know they don't want you. But keep in mind that sometimes girls play a good charade and "being your friend" when they really think about more... Remember, Men are from Mars... Women from Venus... just saying best of luck

  • Just because the age of consent maybe a minor doesn't mean its a wise idea. Has she graduated high school yet? Does she have a GED? A career? Plans for the future?

    Just because you can doesn't mean you should. This time in a womans life is very transitional.

    I don't think you should dump her. Hey! She might be the one... But i think If you really love her you will keep it casual until she is not only allowed to vote, but also settled and able to take care of herself financially and physically.

    Then she will be an equal to you and you will have a partner in your life, not a highschooler.

    1|0
    0|1
    • 2mo

      Why does this strike such a nerve with you?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      you are a retard, and that's why it offends you :) and i like that it does. what you going to do about it bitch

    • 1mo

      oh and another thing RETARD, you say i am not smart for my "advanced age" yet in a previous comment you mentioned you are the same age. and you are asking shit like this, also contradicting yourself with
      "My girlfriend is a responsible person who goes to school, trains for sports, and holds a job. She's not a helpless waif being preyed upon by a older man."

      yet you are older... an "older man" so let me do the honour of showing you, that you just buttfucked yourself with your own insult. YOU my friend are not smart for your "advanced age"

  • You might not think it illegal, but the law does. They aren't upset at the fact that you're dating a younger woman. I mean, c'mon lol. I think they're looking out for you. You're 7 years older than her and yes, she's a teenager. If that's not concerning I don't know what is. And no you're not a leftover. Think better of yourself. Girls your age and my age, like guys that are honest, kind and funny. No matter the age. I personally wasn't really into older guys. Actually, most of my relationships were with guys my age. I know that's not the case with everyone. But not everyone wants a younger or older partner. Anyways, yeah I truly think your girl friends are looking out for you because they know that you really like this girl (blinded by love?) and they feel like they need to open your eyes to the possibility of what 'could happen' let's not forget by law she's a minor. Best of luck!

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Bullshit. The age of consent here is 17, so fuck your false accusations.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Wow, relax lol. Do what you wanna do. You asked and I tried to help. Whatever good luck with your "relationship".

    • 2mo

      Yes, I asked for input, but you took it upon yourself to accuse me of a crime. I will defend myself from that, because I don't deserve that.

  • Sorry, but it comes just comes off as creepy and gross to me.
    I consider 24 an adult and 17 a child (still in high school?).
    The fact that when I was teenager & grown men in their 20's and older would hit on me freaked me out.
    So that may have something to do with it also.

    I feel like age gaps don't really matter though as long as they're both adults.

    2|0
    0|1
  • Honestly I reckon its the girls expressing their own insecurities about not being desired by men their age, feeling like they need to be with someone older because they look younger than that persons peers and so they would be seen as youthful. A 17 year old girl is likely to have nice tight soft skin, a tight vajayjay and boobs that's haven't started sagging yet, where as your friends may already have those traits and they're secretly insecure about it

    1|2
    0|0
    • 2mo

      But the thing is, I'm very attracted to girls my age, but they don't take me seriously. So then when I date someone younger, they denounce it. It's like they believe I should just be forced to remain single until some girl my age takes pity on me. No thanks.

  • My boyfriend is 24 and I am 20 (of like two weeks) and I see nothing wrong with the age gap between you and your girlfriend. a lot of girls like older guys. So don't listen to the hate.

    0|1
    1|0
  • I was 17 and my boyfriend was 21 when we met. And we're still together 4 years later. Your female friends are just hating. Ignore them, most women desire older men... that's just how it is.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Coz most girls don't respect people's choices when it comes to stuff like this

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think it's the gap. That's one year short of a 10 year gap. For me, if it's 6 years older I don't mind too much but anything more than that is too far. I have a friend that is 10 years older than me and it seems super weird when we talk some times since I was 10 when he was in college. 0_0 when it hits that it's not an exaggeration it's super weird.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      My girlfriend is 7 years younger, not 10. 'Weird' is in the eye of the beholder.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      No, I do want reasons, but what I'm getting are a lot of personal judgments and insults like "it's creepy" or "it's weird."

    • 2mo

      dude you are dumb, if you don't want an answer to your question why ask it in the first place... also that being said if you seem to think it's ok.. why ask if other people ok when you are quick to write them off. it just shows even you are questioning it. you are not the smartest of the bunch are you. poor guy

  • It seems perverted

    0|0
    1|1
  • They are probably looking at her chance of being too young and not fully sure what she wants in her life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because she's an underaged teenager that thinks she knows everything about life and the world and has no idea what she's getting into with you. You're just her 20-something trophy boyfriend to make all her friends jealous and buy her liquor.

    2|0
    1|0
    • 2mo

      LOL That's the silliest thing I've read here. Neither one of us even drink. We're both athletes, which is how we met in the first place.

    • 1mo

      nah.. you are the "silliest" thing to ever exist on the planet. top yourself pls

  • If it's more than 5 years I look down on it tbh.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I just consider it a little inappropriate, that's all. It would also make me question the maturity of the guy.

    2|0
    1|1
    • 2mo

      Why?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I'm 24, not 44. We're both growing as people at this point. Anyone who thinks they're fully mature and all-knowing at my age is just silly. But I don't see my girlfriend as a dumb kid. She's more mature than many people my age, which is why she already has an athletic scholarship and 20 hours of college completed.

    • 1mo

      she's obviously not mature enough to avoid your sorry ass. LOL

  • I tried liking younger dudes and would even go on a date with them, but I just never fell for a guy less than 5 years older than me. I've been dating a guy for over a year now that is 31 and I'm almost 22. We are both not into people our own ages. Some people I know have made comments before, but they don't understand, and so it doesn't bother me. I'm happy like this, and you should be too :) don't let it bother you

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's a tad bit inappropriate.
    Dating someone that's 2-3 years younger is okay, but a 6 year difference? You guys are in different stages in life.
    Apparently she's in high schools and you're getting your life together right now And finding a career or already have a career.

    Also, I assume older guys date younger girls because it's easier and they are flattered that a way older man is hitting on them.

    It just seems like it's all fun and games and not a serious loving relationship

    0|0
    1|0
  • you are an adult (supposedly) and she is still a teenager. it's creepy. if a 20 yr old woman was dating a 17 yr old guy would that bother you? no yes?
    if no think if a 20 yr old woman dated a 50-60 yr old. then yes?
    you should be going for girls your own age realistically.

    0|0
    1|1
    • 2mo

      24? my god thats even worse. O_O

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      "Answers"? Three paragraphs of your butthurt doesn't constitute "answers" in any real sense of the word.

    • 2mo

      if you are really that dumb to not see an answer then you probably shouldn't date a 17 year old. just saying

  • They probably think you will take advantage of her or use your age as some excuse when you need it.
    Honestly girls our age LOVE guys in their early 20's or college age.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I know, girls your age are so much more attracted to me than girls my own age.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I'm not like other girls but I think it's because they feel responsible for all other girls (especially younger) and these days everyone is acting like ALL guys are bad or will take advantage, and they probably don't want that to happen to her.
      Or maybe one of your female friends likes you and doesn't want you with any other girls.

    • 2mo

      Well, I'd be happy to date girls my age, but girls my age don't really take me seriously. But those same girls who don't want me are offended by me dating a younger girl. That's either jealousy or some weird desire to see me twist in the wind, though I'm not sure which.

      I have distanced myself from my female friends, though, because I don't accept them judging me so negatively for dating this girl. They used to tease me about not having a girlfriend, and now that I do, they're acting butthurt about it.

  • I have the same problem the other way around. I only date older guys and find younger ones immature and hard to get along with. But like everyone says the guy must be a pervert? So unfair and judgmental!

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Yeah, very condescending. The girl I'm dating is more mature and together than most people I know. Plus, she doesn't look childlike at all. But the big thing is that she's as into me as I am her. Most girls my age wouldn't even give me much of a chance.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      LOL that's funny! I never thought of that. My girlfriend doesn't use this site... that I know of.

      That's cool that you're 17 and dating a guy my age. I love our match, and think we work great together. She's gorgeous and mature, and she sees me as a strong and mature guy. I really hate that my female friends are so against it.

    • 2mo

      Yeah well my boyfriend will be happy to know that it's not just him that thinks that age gap could work and that it's not that weird! I love the way it's working out too.

Loading...