I've been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months and she is really great. She makes me food all the time, she is really hot, and she is so nice to me. However one thing she does that I just dont understand is get all uptight when I am around other women.
Normally she is pretty laid back with what I do (she is fine with me playing video games all night, or hanging out with my guy friends on weekends), but when I tell her that I was hanging out with some other girls she gets really flustered and somewhat angry. Of course I dont go out one on one with other girls, but I'll go out with 2 or 3 guy friends and they'll invite some girls to go along and I'll be with them. She usually finds out and always questions me about them (kind of like my mom used to when I went on dates in high school).
Or once I was the only guy hanging out with 3 of my girl friends (from college, before I met my girlfriend). After that I got home and saw my girlfriends eyes I knew I made a mistake, but my girlfriend was really upset with me. She was half angry half flustered that I did that, and while I regret my decision I didn't do anything bad. We just went out and got some food and had a couple drinks and then I went home.
Those girls are just old friends from college, its not that I like them more than my girlfriend, my girlfriend is really awesome, but my girlfriend just doesn't like it with I hang out with them. If she is there hanging out with us it is fine and she won't get angry with me, but she works late so a lot of times I can't invite her to our social events. If I am with my guy friends though its all cool, she doesn't care, its just with girls. Is this an unreasonable thing for her to do? What do you think?
- Yes that is a ridiculous thing to do38% (39)59% (41)47% (80)Vote
- Yes it is unreasonable, but she is justified in doing it27% (28)26% (18)27% (46)Vote
- No, she can do that22% (22)11% (8)17% (30)Vote
- Other/No Opinion13% (13)4% (3)9% (16)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
If she hasn't yet met them, then a LITTLE uneasiness is perfectly understandable -- especially if you're hot, and/or if there's anything else clearly desirable about you.
But... You said she's already met them.
Which means one of 2 things.
She's testing you.
She wants you to put yr damn foot down, and *assert* yourself. She WANTS to know that you aren't going to just pussyfoot around her, and kowtow to her every little demand.
So -- consciously or not -- she's making unreasonable demands. And she WANTS you to identify them as just that -- unreasonable demands -- and dismiss them accordingly.
She wants you to make her DEMANDS seem ridiculous... without making HER seem ridiculous.
You should react to this in much the same way you'd react to a 4-year-old having a tantrum in a grocery store. Be firm, and loving, but dismissive.
If you've ALREADY passed a decent number of such "tests" in the past, and she's STILL acting like this...
... then you've got yourself a serious drama queen.
If you are good at handling this kind of drama, then... go for it. There are advantages -- most notably, it shouldn't be hard for you to convert that sort of drama into setting the stage for mind-blowing sex.
But... if she keeps this shit up after a few times where you PASS the tests (as I wrote above -- like the parent of a small child throwing a tantrum), then... just know that she's probably gna be like that for LIFE.
If you FAIL these tests -- by pussyfooting around and apologizing for just having friends (DON'T do that... dear god yr poor friends!) -- then, LOTS of women will keep amping up the drama. Even women who aren't normally drama queens...
... BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SEE YOU ASSERT YOURSELF.
So... Pass the test.
Most Helpful Guy
Yes, it is controlling, paranoid behaviour. She doesn't trust you.
You are allowed to have female friends, whether they are new or from before you met her. You're allowed to hang out with them and talk to them. This is your girlfriend's issue, you have done nothing wrong.1