Not only am I living in hell and torture during the day, I am being severely burdened in my sleep too.
Growing up, I never had an actual girlfriend. I still have never had a girlfriend till this day (and I recently turned 22).
But what really bothers me is that I missed out on young, teen love.
Even worse, when I am intimate with a girl, my mind and emotions wants to subconsciencely replicate a teen romance. For example, when I start kissing a girl on the bridge of her nose or wrap my arms around her or show her strong affection, my mind imagines it as I wanted it to be when I was a teenager.
But all I am doing is replicating something she DID actually have when she was younger (what she had with another guy). And I am living a fake fantasy and I am portraying myself falsely. It doesn't make it real.
If she found this out...
Then she would be like, "awww that is cute".
But then my question for her would be, "well then, wouldn't the actual teen romance you had when you were younger even cuter then since it was more legitimate young love and real"?
Commercials and tv shows that have teen romances even set my anxiety and depression off badly.
Most Helpful Girl
This sounds like a major anxiety episode. It's not the thing you're focused on, it's the anxiety itself. My anxiety makes me whirl in perpetual circles on topics like this too. It's miserable. Talk to your doc, and soon!0