How early should you discuss marriage?

The first time you discussed marriage? My relationship has been so perfect 😍 I know it's kinda early, but.. 2 weeks after meeting online I became his girl, and we said "I love you" for the first time. We met a month later, and a month after that he told met he wants to marry me. I was very happy, but we didn't really say much else. A couple months ago we were walking and he stopped me and told me he wants to spend his life with me and gave me the longest hug and it was really passionate. 😍 It's been 9 months since we met, not a single fight... we both seem very happy and spiritually connected. I hope this lasts forever.

Is this all happening a bit too fast? Everything feels right - but outside opinions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not early for you and there is no such thing as too fast. You talk about it as soon as possible if that is what you want. If this is what you both want, go for it. Don't let anybody stop you because they are envious and jealous that you found somebody who wants to do life right with you. Many of these same people can't even find that kind of person nowadays and go by years and years and still never get anywhere where they want to go. Just make sure that this is the person you want to marriage and submit to as a wife to him and likewise him to you as your husband. Understand that divorce should never be an option, and strive to have a long lasting and loving marriage. At least you both know what you want. Be an example. But also make plans for the future as well, work, having your own apartment, school etc.

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What Guys Said 13

  • My parents have been together for 31 years, my dad asked for her hand 2 weeks after meeting her. So, it really just depends.

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  • Give it another 2 years, wait for things to slow down on their own and then wait a little longer. What's the rush? You guys are having a great time right? Why do anything to change that? If marriage is right for you then save it for later.

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  • There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, look into that. I'd personally want to wait AT LEAST 5-7 years, but I've been burned before by crazy manipulative psychopaths. But's that's exactly why long engagements are a good idea. Most psychos are really good at acting normal, but they just can't keep the act up forever.

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  • I wouldn't want to seriously talk about marriage for at least a year or 2 after I started dating a girl

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  • 2 to 3 years and see if your even still together. Your still in the honey moon phase

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  • If I were in your shoes , i would have already married this guy by now.

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  • In my experience at least 15 months.

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  • You're 18.
    Give it a few years, people change.

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  • A year at least

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  • Preferably never.

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  • My advice to people who are thinking of getting married is to wait until they're in their late 20's or early 30's. I know nine months seems like a long time, but it really isn't. And not a single fight? That by itself is a concern. It doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble, but it means that you haven't learned how to disagree with each other yet. And believe me, it will happen at some point. Even the best relationships have their difficult times; anybody can enjoy the good times, but the way you choose to handle difficult situations will define your relationship.

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  • Lol for me the marriage discussion=break up discussion since when they ask I tell them I'm never getting married.

    Have you guys been meeting in person ever since that first time? If not then you guys are getting WAAAAAAY too ahead of yourself. I'm guessing the guy is no older than you. He's young and naive (he'd be so pissed to hear someone say that to him I bet) and he does not know what he's talking about when he says he wants to get married.

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  • Yea honestly that's way too fast, the best working relationships I know they were friends a couple years and then they were engaged for almost 3 years sorry but that's way too fast

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What Girls Said 11

  • your story sounds very similar to mine~ my man and i met online in late 2014 and met in person after 3 weeks of chatting through the site... we've been inseparable ever since. :) <3

    i had long been against marriage. but, when he brought it up a month into our relationship (he'd been engaged before and wanted to know how i felt about it being a possibility), i didn't feel scared, or claustrophobic, or any of the things i usually felt when people in the past pushed me for commitment. the idea of marrying him didn't scare me, since our relationship was solid enough that i wasn't worried about our future.

    as with abortion, stds. and other awkward things, you should know where your partner stands before getting too invested.

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  • I mean I definitely have never moved as fast as you and keep in mind everyone is different, sure you talk about marriage but will it happen? Who knows. If it feels like cherish it don't be in such a rush to do anything drastic.

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  • how old are you guys? It all depends on your ages as well. Someone who is 27 and dated a guy for 9 months may get engaged much quicker than someone who is 22 and dating a guy for 9 months. I'd say saying the whole 'I love you" is a little soon and talking about marriage. if you two truly do love each other then good for you!! :) but just guard your heart. sometimes you need a fight though, that way you can see how you guys can handle it. fighting makes the bond stronger too (I'm talking a fight once in a good while!!) I fell for this guy in the matter of two weeks and it's scary! You just can't help it!

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  • It could be meant to be. But i agree with some others. Longer engagements are a good idea for younger people. You can still be committed!! But it gives you time to grow and make sure you are both growing together instead of growing into separate people.

    Now when my mom got married in her 50s it was 6 months start to finish. I thought this was smart because if you don't know you by 50 you have bigger issues then marriage haha.

    As you approach the marriage, consider seeing a counselor or clergy person of your faith. It doesn't mean you have issues, but a trained pre marital counselor can help you both answer questions about how you want to raise a family, about kids and who raises them, about how you hope to resolve fights amd how you both plan to manage money. Because a successful marriage needs a lot more then love.

    But enjoy the sweetness and simplicity for now :)

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    • 2mo

      Good points. I always tell friends to get pre-marital counseling if I hear they are talking marriage with their partner. There are issues to address as you mention. How many kids and how to raise them. Will you take in aging parents later on in life? The list goes on. I am glad you posted this.

  • Alright, I don't know how old your boyfriend is but based on what you've said, I feel the relationship is moving too fast. Now, you're 18 years old. I'm assuming you either still live with your parents or have just started college. Either way, I don't think marriage should be discussed unless both people are financially independent. If you two get married, where are y'all gonna live? Your parents house? Does he have a place of his own? You really have to think about whether the two of you can stand on your own. And what do you REALLY know about this guy? Has he met your parents? Has he met your friends? Have you met his? When was his last relationship (one that lasted at least a year)? What does he do for a living? Does he have an arrest record? These questions are so important and it's important you ask them if you're serious about marrying him.

    I'm not saying love at first sight isn't possible, but don't get to thinking that you're in a romance novel. This is real life. Got to college, figure out who you really are, get your degree, get a job THEN talk about marriage.

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  • In all honesty, I would wait until you two go through something very dramatic. Like a miscarriage or cheating or something. This sounds terrible but something bad will always happen and you might want to find out how you guys deal with it before getting married. I thought I would marry my ex after about 2 years into our relationship, it was perfect until shit hit the fan. We did not manage very well and broke up.

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  • In the first couple of dates

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  • Well, it sounds kinda fast to me. But I'm not one to judge.

    You're both really young though and don't have careers and stuff. Maybe pump the breaks on planning a wedding date.

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  • at least a year.

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  • Hon, you're gonna have a fight with him sooner or later

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  • :( and I can't even have a first kiss damn

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