Feeling Extremely Lonely Right Now?

Hi Everyone,

Just feeling really lonely right now.

I came across a health book, started reading some sections on relationships and sex, how humans need to emotionally bond, how sex is a wonderful thing, how we need intimacy... and it started to hurt me...

I am 23 years old and never have had a girlfriend or anything and am starting to feel like I never will.

I just don't know how to attract women, what I want is a relationship...

It might be easier to "hook up" with a girl on Tinder but to be honest I am scared of sex... I have no experience so I have no clue what I am doing at 23... So I can't hook up...

I really want a girl to accept me for who I am, thinks I am funny, and is willing to take things slow... I want to go on real dates, and get closer until we are comfortable with each other... but either these girls don't exist or they are not attracted to me... ( The girls who do seem to be attracted to me are the party ones, like to drink, club, play games, need attention, Tinder Girls...) ( I don't like drinking and clubbing though)

Girls have called me cute, nice, handsome, sweet... and I am told the right girl will come along one day, and she will be so lucky...

But I don't feel that is true... I haven't really cared, but being single is really hurting me on the inside lately... I want to loved by a girl, I want her to be there for me, cuddle, to sleep with, to do things with...

I try small talking to girls, I try online dating... I have had a couple dates that went no where... and haven't had much luck since...

I guess there is just something wrong with me, I know I am a bit shy and introverted... but I see shy guys get girlfriends too... I really don't know what to do, where to start... I don't know...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound like a girl yourself. Everything you said is pretty much what every girl wants. No shit people need intimacy, we grow out of the "hook-up" stage pretty quick in my opinion. Anyways to really solve your problem, is to talk to other girls and keep trying. If you look for it, you're not gonna find it and you're gonna miss out on so many things. I understand loneliness, just power through it and try some new things. It's difficult and terribly awkward but after that, smooth sailing.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Its all about the confidence. Sex isn't anything to worry about, I can honestly say I can't say there's been many guys that have pushed my buttons in that area but that wouldn't put me off them initially just because they had no idea what they were doing in the bedroom. even for people with experience it take time to get to know the other persons likes and dislikes. So stop worrying about not knowing what you are doing and don't let fear of sex cause you to be scared of dating.

    You've said the dates 'went no where' any idea why? Was there just not a spark? Or is it possible you weren't taking charge and say... arranging the next dates so the girl was maybe left wondering how you felt about her and assuming you weren't interested.

    You have to remember that if these girls are on these sites then the chances are they are meeting men that are clearly only looking for hook-ups and so when they find someone who actually wants something serious, they think he must be up to something. So even if they would happily settle down, they won't trust that is what you want because they met you on tinder. You could try more serious dating sites such as match. com.

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  • YOU. DON'T. NEED. THIS. SO. CALLED. BOOK.
    GET It AWA Y from YOUUUUU.
    You don't need to feel lonely just because you don't have a girlfriend.
    You don't need to be left out just because other guys/girls have relationships.
    Sex shouldn't be everything there is in life.
    What I think what matters is you leaving the state from looking for a relationship and go find something you really enjoy doing. Maybe from there, you could find someone who's like you and you can start from there?
    You sound like a lovely person and I really do hope you find the one...
    I wish you good luck! Also! ++up that self confidence! :))

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  • I totally understand where you are coming from. I have had a ton of problems trying to be in a relationship. To the point of where I was seeing a guy and I had a panic attack when he tried to kiss me and inevitably he couldn't handle how "messed up" I am. After that I really haven't tried because I am just too scared. I want to be in a relationship but I am way to afraid and its not like anyone is asking anyways. I want the normal things we dream about having but I feel like I can't cause I am so screwed up. I totally get where you are coming from and I hope you know that you are not alone.

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    • 2mo

      It really sucks, so much confusion, and not understanding anything... Feels like I should know everything, but I have no experience and get insecure and scared

  • I feel the same way! I was starting to believe that guys like you didn't exist and this touched my heart because it gave me hope. Whenever a guy sees me, the only thing on his mind is sex. I've never met someone who truly wanted to get to know me and build a relationship. It honestly depresses me. I don't know how to advise you because we're in the same boat bud :( I just wanted to let you know that there are definitely lots of girls out there who want a healthy relationship. I don't know why we can't meet the right people.

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    • 2mo

      I'm really glad it touched your heart :) There are a lot of good guys out there too, guys who want a relationship, want to get to know a girl, even at a young age. Trust me I know. I'm glad to know there are nice girls too but I have no idea how to meet these girls either :(

  • why is the age 25-29?

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    • 2mo

      Because when I made this, I didn't think age mattered so I picked a random age... but I got flamed for being a very immature 27 year old... So I have to write my true age in questions ( I am 23)... and I am not sure if you change age on this site

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    • 2mo

      The loneliness? It really sucks... I have no idea what is wrong with me

    • 2mo

      yeah I guess so. normally keeping busy means you don't have to worry about it.

  • It's okay, I'm here for you.

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    • 2mo

      Thanks, What should I do to get a girlfriend?

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    • 2mo

      You're still young, don't worry about it.

    • 2mo

      I'll try not to

What Guys Said 3

  • 28 now, been there done that over and over again
    focus on yourself and eventually the right person will come around

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    • 2mo

      Will they?

    • 2mo

      yeah, you develop a sort of filter : you see what kind of girls you want after all you missed or ditched or those who left you

  • I was the same until I readied the book "I'm Pregnant" now I started to hate myself.

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    • 2mo

      Gawd Damn Books!!!

  • Come back when you are 40 years old and still single and a virgin.

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    • 2mo

      I don't want that, I need to fix this now...

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