What am I doing wrong?

So here's a complicated one for y'all.
I don't understand this. Every relationship I've ever had has ended because of my apparent issues. (Clingy, Annoying, Trust Issues (New*), Needy)
*sidenote: Which is ironic about the trust issues because I used to be too trusting now i'm not trusting enough due to my abusive ex. I. e. "Boyfriend" gave me his facebook and I check his messages. Wrong I know but I was scared of getting cheated on.

Back on track, I had went so far as to even WARN the guy what he was getting into, down to every last detail. And he had warned me. I had begged and pleaded for 2 whole hours telling him that he needs to understand what he was getting into.
Now fast forward to present tense. We are on a very long break ( a month) so he can "mentally prepare himself" for my " emotional issues".
What should I do? Where did I go wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Auuuum you can't stop getting into relationships and fix yourself obviously. You seem to know your mistakes but do nothing to correct them. It's like you want a guy to accept that this how you are. No ma'am that ain't how relationships is. So cut the " when you get know me here's wha your in for." Act and take time to work on it. Ya feel meh?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your problem is that instead of working on your problems, you told him "this is who I *am* and what you're going to have to deal with". You gave him a long list of reasons as to why he *shouldn't* be with you, basically. He got scared, and rightfully so.
    You shouldn't get into a relationship when you're clearly not ready for one. You begging and pleading for 2 hours just adds to you being clingy, needy and annoying. And the fact that you had to do it also shows you have trust issues, you don't trust that he realizes what he's getting himself into and it seems more like you're trying to drive him off, not inform him of your issues.
    Take this month to do some intense self-reflecting. Get help, maybe find a therapist. Work on yourself, your confidence, your feelings of self-worth. Learn how to be independent. A month is not a lot of time so don't expect to do a complete 180° change. But you can take some baby steps in the right direction, at the very least. If at the end of the month you feel like you haven't gotten anywhere, then getting into a relationship with this guy is not a good idea. Work on yourself before getting into anything.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You need to find someone who is CRAZY about you. I have been with girls that were very clinging and I loved it because I was CRAZY about them.

    On the other hand, if a girl I "like" texts me too much I get done with it fast.

    Make sure that you feel the same and that you in a place where you can love someone who feels that way about you.

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  • clingy girls are sweet and what i want, and perhaps you think being clingy is annoying and wrong, i suggest not worrying about those things. plus dont be thinking all guys are going to be your abusive ex. and taking breaks is stupid.

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  • Try to fix yourself, learn to trust again. You can't think everyone is out to get you. Because all you just said, can backfire. And he has to asdure you, or show you he's loyal.

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  • Fix yourself before getting into relationships, you won't be happy in one til then.

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  • "And he had warned me." About what?
    "what he was getting into." And what is that?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well first of all trust and communication are very important in a relationship. I am going though the same thing in a way. I agree it was wrong to go though his Facebook messages but then again he gave his information, so its kind of his fault. I would take this time to think about things and try to work on you. Just let things happen and try not to stress over it too much.

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