Has anyone ever been rejected by dates because of your race or ethnicity?

Growing up, I had a hard time getting dates cause of my Hispanic heritage. I understand we all have a preference but to always get rejected cause of my race, I felt ashamed of my heritage and never embraced it for years. Most people will say rudely I don't wanna date you cause of your race. It seems like racism more than preference which I also struggled with growing up. Who can relate? Leave comments and share your story.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I''m Puerto Rican and Jamaican. Racially that makes me white, Taino indian and black.

    My first experience with racism was in kindergarten. I had a crush on this black boy and he told me he could never like me because I'm white with a white mother and that it was wrong for me to be mixed.

    In the third grade I had a crush on this white kid I've known since the first grade and I was absolutely obsessed with him. He told me I was ugly and a black n**.

    In high school I had a white friend who openly told me it was "Wrong" for races to mix in spite of knowing my background. He went on to add that he's strictly opposed to it in terms of other races with white people. I was like wth? He later apologized but I couldn't bring myself to remain friends with someone who thinks my entire existence is wrong.

    This isn't about dating but, I've also faced prejudice and bullying by a lot of black girls growing up, one threatening to cut off my hair and a lot of them trying to beat me up simply for existing, especially if a black guy liked me.

    All in all, stupid is stupid and I can't stop people from being ignorant. But it's okay, because at the end of the day I still love white guys, I still love black guys, Asian guys, Hispanic guys, whatever. I'm not a racist, and all people are beautiful to me. Plus with my background, all people are MY people.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm as white as white can get, right? I'm HELLA attracted to African women. I'm convinced that I'll marry one. It's really hard dating them because of our differences and preferences in life.
    But to be straight to the point, I've never had a woman tell me "I won't date you because of your race.". Even if they did, yeah I'd be a little butt hurt at first but then I'd think they aren't worth my time anyway. Plenty of other fish in the sea. I just wasn't her catch.

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What Girls Said 24

  • My sister is currently dating a white man and has so for about 10 years. One day I was speaking with him about some of his experiences when he was in school. He comes from a very racist family, but he was different. There was a black girl he liked in school and really wanted to ask her out. Once he found out she liked him too, he was as happy as a rainbow and was about to take a step forward. However, his father once told him that if he brought a N*gger home, he was going to ring his neck. So, he literally told the girl something like "Sorry, I don't date black girls", and this surely, completely sent off the wrong idea between the races, becuase I know black women are very interested in white men, but for her to hear THAT from a white guy who actually did like her probably told her to never bother with white men ever. One other thing about him and his family is that he learns from what he's mostly around. One time he upset his Asian teacher becuase he said "Japs", and he had no idea it was offensive. The same for the N word. He was just totally copying off what he had hard growing up.

    Much can be the same for your experience. It could just be that those who reject you probably came from a very crappy household and don't know any better. Or it could be environment you're in. Some places are very centralized in keeping to their own cultures or people.

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    • 1mo

      But unfortunately us white guys don't find non white girls attractive, especially black. Why would we go interracial when our women are already the most beautiful and coveted in the world? Lol

  • I can relate. I'm black and I get that a lot. Even from black guys. They say I do "white people stuff." Not exactly sure what that's suppose to mean. But hell, I have my hobbies and clearly you can't please everybody so whatever.

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    • 1mo

      That's the same thing I've heard all my life. I'm not "black enough" to date black girls, and because I'm black I can't date white girls... Teenage years can be tough in that respect.

    • 1mo

      I hear ya and I agree. It's either... you're too black or not black enough. There is no happy medium. But they say patience is a virtue, I'll just wait until someone is okay with my black... whatever it is.

  • i am white and, while i've only dated white men (no real reason, other than that there are more of them where i live), i had crushes on hispanic and middle eastern guys when i was in high school.

    i have never rejected someone on the basis of skin colour. my brother and sister are mixed (their biological mother is black and my dad is white), and my friends are from all corners of the map (my best friend is west indian); i was raised to care more about who someone is as a person, rather than his or her race.

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  • I am a mix of Hispanic, Chinese and Filipino. Was brought up in a home where we were taught not to judge someone by their size, colour or race.

    I've never had this problem. My first boyfriend was half Filipino, half Swiss. My last boyfriend was a mix of Hispanic and Italian blood. The guy I am dating now is African American.

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    • 1mo

      @ Karennn Damn you must be very attractive Hispanic, Chinese and Filipino. Let me guess big tits nice round ass and full lips. Just saying.

  • I never asked out a guy but my ethnicity hasn't stopped me from getting attention even from different other ethnicities ( I actually get more attention from White , South Asian and Jewish guys than Guys my race, Arabs although I still attract them a lot ).
    Black guys and East Asian guys don't like me though 💔 I suppose I would get rejected by them if I ever asked them out lol...

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  • I was literally told by a black guy who I didn't even find attractive that he would never date me cause "no matter how good I look, you white girls aren't loyal and not wifey material." Wtf?

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  • I'm Hispanic and I don't think that has happened to me, but I live in one of the most diverse cities in the us. Hispanics are the majority here also so you see us mixed with everything.

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  • I've been rejected by black men because I'm too dark. I've been rejected because I don't act like a black girl. White men I've been attracted to aren't interested because I'm black. The men who are attracted to me are only interested sexually. It sucks but hey I can't do anything about it.

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  • I've been rejected because of my race as well. It bums me out first, but then I realize I've been prevented from being in a relationship with a potential racist.

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    • 1mo

      Hate to say it, but black girls almost always get rejected. Besides, if that's you in the pic, I can see why no one would want you.

  • As a black girl I know exactly how you feel.

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  • Lol yes and it's usually based on stupid stereotypes that don't apply to me. Then there have been occasions where guys have found out that I'm mixed race and they want a 'pure blood' girl. They like you before they find out your background. So backwards.

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  • I reject non whites for long term relationships but not one night stands.

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  • I'm black I totally feel you

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  • I have never ask out any man that wasn't white. It is just a preference. Everyone has one. You dont need to get upset about it. Or be ashamed of anything.

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  • i live in Georgia so there is a lot of Hispanics and blacks. my dad was born in Cuba but my mom is white and was born here in America. so my race would be Cuban American. the white side of my mom overpowers me so i'm kinda pale lol so living here in Georgia many blacks and Mexicans bullied me for my race in 3rd grade i had a crush on this boy and he was black. when i told him i liked him he said "no your too white for me i like a little color." i cried my eyes out. it's kinda funny because my dad is also half black

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  • OMG I totally feel your pain as a Black African girl!! My first boyfriend was Latino in fact

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  • I thought I should be the one asking this question. English is not my native language so excuse my broken English. I am Asian myself, I am not from the U. S, either. There are a lot of stereotypes that people have on Asian girls... Haha, I know those. I have never been asked out by any guys and I have been in the states for almost a year... Just like what you said, it's probably because of my race or ethnicity...

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    • 1mo

      Asian guys are hot. You'll find someone eventually though.

    • 1mo

      @MusicOfTheManic being short and having small dicked and eyes is hot to you? You must be ugly or just desperate lol.

  • You should go in France then Hispanic is one of the most popular race to date (latino in general).
    I never date someone but like I'm White. I wouldn't be rejected because of it.

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  • I have been told by guys that they would not date me because of my race. I personally do not care who others date but people who think that race does not play a part in dating is in denial or delusional

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  • Me, no.
    But i get that people have racial preferences. There needs to be some sort of physical attraction or common ground otherwise it won't work out

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  • I have had guys I meet tell me I am a nice girl but they are "not really into Asian girls"

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    • 1mo

      I have also! It's ok there are many guys that like us I am sure :) :)

    • 1mo

      There are also ones with an Asian fetish & I feel really weird about that

  • No, not that I'm aware.

    But I will date whoever I want, I don't care if others think it's racist or don't like it.

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  • I was rejected once because I'm Latina but I also have my racial preferences for guys.

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  • Mostly guys tell me that they prefer white girls or Asians over me. (I'm Latina)

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What Guys Said 35

  • The downfalls of living in a nation that is primarily a different race from your own.

    I'm not just going to discount your claims of racism--I don't know what you've experienced; but you don't have a right to other peoples' genitals, regardless of what race you are. It's natural for people to date within their own race, and people generally do date within their own race--and even then a lot of people will date outside of it. I find it hard to believe that it was *only* your race that was the driving factor. Unless you lived in a particularly racist, most likely rural city. That doesn't happen in cities and metropolises. Not where I live, anyway.

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  • What is the difference between someone saying they don't want to date you because they are not attracted to Hispanics and someone saying they don't want to date you because of your ethnicity? It is easy to misperceive that as racism and our current political client certainly encourages people to see racism everywhere.

    I have been rejected because I am 5' 9" and the girl was 5' 10". She only wanted to date guys 6' 0" and taller.

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  • People shouldn't be rude when turning anyone down, but it has nothing to do with racism. Latinos and especially blacks have extremely high single parenthood rates. Some black communities have as much as 80% of kids growing up living with just one parent. Why would I want to date a black or latino woman when I can just as easily date a white woman who grew up with married parents?

    Blaming it on racism just makes you look like a crybaby and a loser. I don't doubt it is frustrating, but if you want to blame someone blame all the bad decisions being made by the parents to have kids out of wedlock. Blaming your potential dates for something that isn't thier fault wiil just make them even less attracted to you.

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  • its hard really for most people to know if they were rejected for such a reason , as most people aren't going to come out and say that's why there not interested ( many also have a great fear of being labeled racist if they say no to someone of a different race ) , so they might be left to just wonder if its a reason

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  • Where I live it rarely happens. I've seen people not wanting to date because of race (like a black woman I know who likes white men), but according to what I can see it has to do more with preferences than racism.

    I'm sure it already happened in Brazil, but not with me and neither with anyone I know.

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  • don't really understand the poll options

    i don't know for sure that my race has played a part in sometimes being rejected by women but i imagine it has.

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  • Here's my 2 cents as a never been married, 32yo black male.
    Historically I've dated white women more than any other race. That's not a preference. That's just kind of how my cards fell- the people I hung out with and the social circles I've had.

    I don't have a true preference. I literally find beauty in the lady. Doesn't matter the color, race, creed, etc. If you put a gun to my head and said pick one, I'd say a mixed race because I could never place one above another.

    I spent my teenage years single AF. The girl I was interested in wouldn't give me the time of day and the girls that were interested in me were well, odd. For instance one girl asked me on a date- to come play strip poker at her house while her mom was away.

    I've asked out black girls and have been literally laughed at because I dress professionally and drive 4x4s. I once complimented a white woman in the bar that I worked at and got cussed out.

    In the end it all comes down to people just being people. One of my female friends of over ten years said she could never date a black guy. We were close enough that I asked why. She said her father told her not to and she would respect his wishes.

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  • Really? I was told by Latinas all the time I was cool to chill with but they wouldn't date me because I wasn't Mexican. I'm Pacific Islander, but when I shave my head I could look black, but not really. I hated that shit, which is prolly why I didn't date any girls in high school.

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  • has not happened yet, to my knowledge

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  • Actually the opposite. I say I am Croatian and Dutch and the ladies seriously love it.
    Especially foreign students. They see me as some sort of god because I have lived in the US for the majority of my life and speak English better than most of my fellow Americans.

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  • I wasn't ever rejected because of my race.
    I avoided "curiosity dating" of black girls, thus that was self imposed.

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  • Never been rejected for that reason (at least not said).

    It's a blurry line because generally you reject people you find unattractive, and features/skintone etc. all play a part in that.

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  • I have at times. And let me tell you something, Hispanic men are actually the second most desirable men after Caucasian. God knows how many times I have seen Caucasian women who lust after Hispanic men.

    Unfortunately, South Asian, Middle Eastern, East Asian, and African American men get rejected a lot. And I had to deal with being rejected because I'm Korean American as Caucasian or Hispanic men were the most desired where I live in, Florida.

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  • Yes. I had some Asian girls say they would only date Asian guys, and a black girl ask me if I'd dated other black girls before. (I am white)

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  • I've been rejected by black women plenty. I'm never really sure if it's because I'm white or because i'm not black... Although I was told once "I dont f#@% white boys"...

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  • huh never rejected for a date due to it however iv been told that since im white we can have a relationship which im ok with just being fuck buddies tbh lol its more ym style i guess

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  • Never really been a problem. I'm half German, half Filipino and I haven't been rejected based on my race or ethnicity, at least not that I'm aware of.

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  • I don't get the poll choices. But anyway, no one has ever stated that as the reason for rejecting me, so whether it may have been, I don't know.

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  • Not really rejected. Just not preferred by a lot. I suspexact my ethnicity had some factors in this. Dun know I don't think about it.

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  • Hmm.. there was a blonde Danish chick who approached me first when I was at Bar in Czech Republic. We were speaking then she asked me where I am from, when I said "Turk" she just ran away lmfao 😂

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  • People are interested in the race that I am since I'm mixed race, people don't know if I'm white, half Asian, half black, Arab. My races are jewish and Filipino.

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  • Nope.

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  • Never. Women prefer us white men so we don't get rejected. Rather, it is us who reject non-whites because they're not as beautiful as our women.

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  • Yeah a black girl told me that she doesn't date white guys. Oh well.

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  • I am a white guy and I asked out a black girl once... she strait up told me she wouldn't date me because I was white... I am actually really glad she was straight forward with me so I knew right where she stood.

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    • 1mo

      How are you able to keep asking out someone after getting hit that hard 😂

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    • 1mo

      I've never asked anyone out before cause the truth hurts 😭😭😭😭😭
      How did it work with her friend? You know her friend longer or what? I actually thought going up to a girl and asking them out wouldn't work most of the time

    • 1mo

      LOL savage asking her friend out. beast

  • No but I voted dates to see the results...

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  • Never been on one can't say.

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  • Happens all the time
    That great division our ancestors created for us

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  • It is not racism to be interested in mating with your own kind only.

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  • I've never been rejected because of my race, but I have rejected a few women for their race before.

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