I have a huge crush on a guy in my office. He's not my direct manager, but he is a manager in the same department. What should I do?

I work for a large company in the finance department and there's not really a lot of mingling between the different sections. Every time I run into my crush in the hall he sends me a huge smile and lately he's been looking once down my body after doing it. He always jokes around on the elevator with me in a way other managers don't and he tries to keep the conversation going until we have to separate. I can tell when someone is interested and I think he is, but there's the coworker/he's in a higher position than me thing. I know dating at work is suppose to be bad, but my company has no problem with it and I know a few people who met here and got married. If anything went wrong our sections aren't constantly collaborating and I don't see being forced together being a problem. I don't know much about him beyond his general personality, but I'd like to know more and he gets my sense of humor so I think we'd hit it off. How do I get him in a more secluded setting without asking him upfront for a date? He's always busy so lunch together at work isn't much of an option.


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What Guys Said 1

  • This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers, or even worse, Bosses.

    This is a terrible idea.

    Why?

    Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

    If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

    If it IS a boss, then problems with the next level of management may occur. Rumors are worse. "Look who's sleeping themselves upward".. on and on.

    THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

    Nothing good becomes of this.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ask him for help, find excuses to talk to him and mention to him that you're going to a coffee-place nearby after work and he can join you if he wants.

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