Is dumping this bad texter right?

Being a bad texter a deal breaker?

I know this guy we have been on three dates, but have known each other for a few months prior and only recently met.

Things seem to be going well, he has told me how much he likes me. Planned a few things in next few weeks..

Have to say though he is really spoiling himself by being SO bad at communication, I am not one for constant texting, but our exchanges go something like this.

He initiates sometimes around 7pm, of very early, 7am. I reply he either doesn't reply for 3 days (I might not have asked him a direct question) there's no pushing the conversation on from him etc and no calls (I think he thinks calling is a BIG thing, as he'll say "might give you an unscheduled call sometime..") like I should see that as amazing. Baring in mind, he has called once.

It's just really frustrating, thing is he KNOWS he's a bad texter as he's said before (have always been wary of people who say this.) if you are meant to be so excited about someone, you put your best foot forward with them and show them my being consistent, right?

He said on our second date "I haven't wanted to text you much as I haven't wanted to fuck things up.." Confusing.

Between our last date & now (a week) i had about three messages off him.

His failure with communication is really dampening my enthusiasm.

Thoughts? X


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Most Helpful Guy

  • And typical female who expect men to always come to them and initiate. I bet you aren't even interesting and reply one word replies.

    God women always like to call men boring or some shit but never self reflect on themselves.

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    • 2mo

      I never reply with one words. Always happy to text him back. If you can't actually give advice, don't waste your time on this site.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Being a bad texter is an excuse. Being a bad texer means you find it difficult to express yourself down in" writing". It doesn't mean you respond 3 days later , and never initiate contact

    Communication is like oxygen to all relationships. Without it the relationship can't survive.

    The situation you described would be a deal breaker for me. It shows lack of interest on his part

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    • 2mo

      Thanks.

      He does initiate. It's just like a text then I reply. Then that's it. Even after 3 days and him "liking me so much" I'm fair to say, that's not what a guy does to a girl who he's wanting to get to know?

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    • 2mo

      Exactly. Not expecting a constant texting marathon. But, this day & age, not an excuse.

    • 2mo

      If someone wants to talk to you , and get to know you they'll make an effort, not and excuse.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • ok i wanna find out one thing: is he GOOD in communicating with u in reality? If he is, then it's ok. Don't have to feel frustrated when he's bad at texting. Cos mostly guys are not really the texty kind unlike girls. BUT... if he's BAD communicating in reality as well, I think, it's best if u guys remain as friends, because communicating is very, very, VERY important in dating and relationships.

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    • 2mo

      He is good communicating when I'm with him - he's quite open with how he has felt on the dates with me and he's very chatty and has planned a few dates for this week. It's just so confusing, people are split on this it seems. Maybe I'm just being insecure.

  • Maybe he just doesn't like texting. I refuse to talk on the phone with certain people...

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    • 2mo

      Is there a reason you want him to text? I prefer to meet in person. I'm actually starting to abstain from texting people I like, specifically so I can converse with them more in person. I really enjoy having my romantic life on the side, too... I can go to work and live my own life without worrying about the guy.

      Maybe he's the same way?

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    • 2mo

      I think the word "text" trivialises it. It's just a method of communication. If I get more texts from my dad who has just learned to text, that I do a guy that "likes me so much" that's not a good sign.. Bit embarrassing.

    • 2mo

      Well, can you verbally communicate? I had a conversation with my best male friend about this: some people just suck at texting. In fact, he and I don't text certain people specifically because certain people excel at different forms of communication.

      If he can't talk to you in person, I'd consider it more of a problem... but it sounds like there is a little bit of clinging happening...

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