How does the "people you attract depends on the signals you give out" work?

I hope the question isn't confusing. It's something I still don't understand myself but it's the reason people give me when I tell them I don't attract the men I want for a relationship. That I'm not sending out the right signals.

What "signals" do I need to show that I want a certain type of man or relationship? How can someone tell? I'm a happy person and I'm always smiling. I'm very intelligent and I'm working on my degree. I have a lot of energy. I'm kind to others. I pretty much do things by myself and I'm indepedent. I know I don't need anyone but I want someone. I'm very private on the tough things happening in my life but I'll share the good things happening. I like working a lot and making sure I can take care of myself before I ask for help. I'm easy going but I don't take people's shit either. I don't dress proactively but I don't hide my figure either. I care about my looks and like looking nice, going out for drinks or to a club. I don't have any hobbies besides reading right now because I'm always doing hw or working. I understand that some people may be tight on money so I'm down for free and at home activities.

I'm attracting men only interested in one night stands or friends with benefits situations. I would like to attract men interested in a relationship but I have no idea what they're getting from me or see me as.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hell, if I knew the answer to this...

    I do know that there are certain pitfalls: for example, as a girl acting very nice and sweet might send out the signal that you might be naive and easy to manipulate by the wrong guys, so then those guys will flock to you. But you shouldn't change who you are: if only the wrong types of guys approach then it might be best to take matters into your own hand and approach guys yourself, or go after guys you already know.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately, that is not true. What you attract has to do with luck.

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