Why do girls say they like shy guys when they don't?

Serious questions, because reading stuff on forums, you'd think girls have nothing against shy guys, some even call them cute. Basically on paper, shy guys dont look so bad.
However this doesn't reflect on the real world a bit. Think about what it means when a guy is shy, it means he cannot flirt with you, make you laugh (at least not in the beginning) or build any kind of sexual tension.
Girls (and guys, but now I am jus talking about girls) are easily manipulated. They'll say they want one thing, but then a player will come up to them, talk to them in a flirtatious, sexual manner, make them laugh and build attraction, and the girls themselves can't even control it. I've seen some really ugly guys get gorgeous girls by manipulating them in this manner, they just make the girl laugh like an idiot and she's at their mercy. This is something thats natural for outgoing guys but pretty much near impossible for shy guys.
And where I live I'd say about 95% of guys are quite outgoing, when you're shy you're sort of left out.
And girls just find you extremely boring because again, when you barely know the girl, you're incapable of flirting and making her laugh and all that.
So I think girls need to think again when some claim they like shy guys, do you really?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like shy guys. Even if he's the most attractive guy in the world, if he's shy I won't like him.

    "They'll say they want one thing, but then a player will come up to them, talk to them in a flirtatious, sexual manner, make them laugh and build attraction, and the girls themselves can't even control it." - this is exactly what gets girls. It's in our nature, we fall for confident and funny guys, it's a tale as old as time. And it's nothing to be sorry for, it's been like this forever it's a human nature. Same as looks are for guys, the most attractive girl is gonna be picked the most.

    "Girls fall for what they hear, guys fall for what they see." - this is one fat truth.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you, best answer so far. All girls need to stand behind you and admit this so that shy guys can start finding ways to overcome their weakness instead of giving them a false sense of hope.

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    • 2mo

      @dontknow12 Yes exactly like that. :)

    • 15d

      You've just contradicted every anthropological study of the 20th &21st centuries, congratulations.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Some girls lie about this (often without realizing it themselves), but you have to understand there's a difference between being shy and socially awkward/inept. A "shy" guy won't always have a joke ready, doesn't dominate the room and won't approach girls without an excuse, etc... but he can carry a normal conversation and make her laugh once he's comfortable. Guys on the internet who call themselves "shy" are like fat girls calling themselves "curvy"...

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What Girls Said 8

  • Its not that I don't like shy guys, shy can be quite endearing at first but it can eventually get quite tedious. I've talked to shy guys before, I was the one who had to initiate with them because they lacked the balls to say hi to me. I just felt as if I was the one putting in all of the effort with the initiating and keeping the conversations going, they would either cut me dry with yes or no answers or just stare at me and I'd get the odd nervous laugh out of them. Also, when a shy guy develops a crush on a girl, he tends to non verbally flirt with her for years and decides to act on it when its too late and she's lost interest or never acts on it at all. I refuse to take shy guys by the hand anymore. Im a talkative person, so I get on better with people who are a bit more confident like myself. It makes for a much more relaxed atmosphere when conversations can flow easily.

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    • 2mo

      Forgot to add, I don't care how attractive they are. They need to make more of an effort to at least try breaking the ice with me before I would even consider asking them out. I've never agreed with the fact that you should have to take anyone by the hand because they are too chicken to talk to you.

  • Some women say they like shy guys, but they tend not to like them in real life. If a man is out at a nightclub and just stands in the corner he will pick up no women. The majority of the time the guy has to make the first move, so even though women say they like shy guys, in actuality that's not who they end up with.

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  • For me... It depends for who are we talking. Me and one of my closest friends like eachother... we are even dating now. He is so so shy around me... I always have to make the first move. I told him first that I like him, usually I start the conversation first and it makes me feel likes he is not into me. He has told me a couple of times he likes me but its so hard to believe it... Yes, it would be nice if he was not so shy, but I have known him for over 2 years now and I know a lot about him and I like him. If he was some other guy maybe i would give up, but not with this guy who I have been friend with for a bit of time now, with whom I have talked about everything and have seen a lot of the stupid things I have done.

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  • Of course I like shy guys and im a shy girl myself.

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  • Every girl has her type. I think shy guys are cute. But I perfer not shy guys.

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  • You have to be good looking to pull off being shy and still getting girls.

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  • So any guy who isn't painfully shy is manipulative? Perhaps your problem is more misanthropy, not shyness.

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  • Girls have different tastes

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    • 2mo

      This is a matter of girls saying one thing, and meaning another because they cannot control it.

What Guys Said 16

  • Nice point but you forgot to mention that a shy guy most likely will be friends with you before her works up the courage to try to flirt or ask you out.

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  • I must have been really attractive when I was 18-21, cuz I was so insanely shy I NEVER talked to girls. But I ended up getting hot girls numbers, dated a couple, and had a bunch of sex with girls who just came up to me and said I was cute. The saddest part is I had such a horrible self image at the time that even though I was getting female attention it STILL didn't boost my confidence one bit. Fucking hell I wish I could go back in time with what I know now! Damnit!

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  • Oh so many pretenses, it's boring. You have a loser's mentality hence you ask these pointless questions.

    When we say we prefer women who know what they want we don't say we actually need to know what it is.

    Of course young girls say one thing, do something else while they had something else in mind, entirely. What did you expect?

    Let's offer a friendly piece of advice. Don't even Try and understand women on a whole. You will not succeed. So why waste valuable time on it?

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  • they dont like shy guys, they like attractive, well dressed, quiet and mysterious guys who dont talk a lot and seem cold and dont show emotions, not shy shy

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  • They don't want to hurt your feelings.

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  • Being shy as a man is literally the most unattractive trait to a woman.

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  • shy boys dont get pussy. its a fact of life. you smell of fear and girls can sense it you're basically insecure - move on out from shyness cos it won't help you in life, let alone helping you in finding a girlfriend
    signed : and ex shy guy

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  • Women are most attracted to one thing in a man: His social status and social skills.
    Women are not visually attracted to men , at least not as far as sex is concerned.

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  • Well they are lying they want to seem open.

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  • stop believing what women say
    believe what you see

    girls like assholes everyone knows this
    so if you want a girl easily be an asshole

    its not like there dumb girls know they like assholes

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  • They find them safe and cute but in reality rarely date them.

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  • They dont they want a jerk a fuckbou who would fuck them and leave

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  • Why? Because the society had trained women to be lying sluts!

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  • Women lie about it because if they tell you what they really want they'll look like shallow bitches but it's true, women like bad boys and shy guys are undesirable.

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  • Yeah, I also don't understand this.
    Also, would you like to help me in my question?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2130345-how-would-you-rate-her-body-shape-do-you-think-it-is-ideal

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  • Just a few young girls do.

    No women like them I'm sure

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    • 2mo

      You sure if you were to ask every woman that not one of them will say they sincerely like shy guys?

    • 2mo

      @MysteriousDarkness yeah I used a strong word
      shy as afraid of approaching women. Yes most of them do not like it. Not every but definitely MOST women

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