I (21M) told my girlfriend I wasn't a virgin before we had sex - now I can't stop thinking about the lie - what should I do?

I feel like I already know the answer to this problem - I have to tell her. But I would really appreciate some advice nonetheless. My girlfriend of 4 months and I started dating at the end of university and, as a result, when we got together we had already been close friends for a few years. I told her that I wasn't a virgin (I even backed it up by lying further about the couple of times I had sex) - I told her I was very inexperienced, but not a virgin. This was a lie. I was virgin. I never saw a problem with being a virgin, in fact I made a conscious decision to lose it to someone i genuinely cared about. However, in this instance I felt compelled to lie. She has had several sexual partners, who I've heard a lot about over the years when we just friends - I think this is what made me feel insecure and a bit inferior in a way. I liked her a lot, but when I lied I really didn't think much of it. We have been apart for a couple of months because we live in different countries, but she has moved back to my country for further education. During the time we've been apart I just kept thinking about the lie. Now we're actually in love and just knowing there is this lie hanging over me is really distracting me. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about being a virgin before her (perhaps I wish I didn't know so many details about her previous partners, but hey that's life), but I am anxious about how she'll react. She obvious suspects, as she asked me a few weeks back about it, and I kept up the lie. If I am going to tell her, I want to tell her to her face. I feel we have a strong relationship, I just don't want to burden her with the stress of me lying etc, considering she is just about to start at a new uni for her masters degree. Perhaps I wait for a bit before I tell her? Let us get back into the comfortableness of our relationship? I haven't been with her for 2 months, and I feel like I really want to tell her before we have sex again.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell her. It's nothing that she should get mad about. If anything she should feel special. As for the lying part, just tell her that you were nervous and that you won't lie again.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell her, dude. She won't hate you for it, ib promise.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Then tell her your a virgin.
    The truth my hurt, but it is for the best. :/

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  • Truth is always better

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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