Would you let your girlfriend do this with a long time friend of opposite sex? or boyfriend if flipped?

im 30, she's 34, dating 6 months. what would your reaction/reply be to this scenario?

she has longtime male friend who is older than her, wealthy, family friend and plays paintball and xbox regularly. i was never allowed to meet him bc she said he gets weird around people, but told me many times she never will have feelings for him beyond friend, told me he was aware of me, but never told me what she said to him.

While dating, we hang out 3+ times weekdays only. they hang out approx 2 weekends a month compared to my 1 weekend total in 6 months. He paid for skydiving, skiing, hiking, overnight weekend camping trips just them, star gazing, and she dropped a bomb on me in July that they were going to germany for two weeks together in sept. (now). i know she can't afford that trip solely. never inviting me or being directly honest when and ehat she does, after telling her i want to do those things with her, she said end of summer she'll have more weekends available bc she planned her summer before we got together.

im not jealous or needy, but i do have anxiety issues and she's well aware snd supportive ususlly, but c'mon right? she assures me there's nothing there at all, never kiss or feel that way towards him, but lately she's been lying a bit more and withdrawn. he's also non active air force like her ex before me, rugged type and friends of hers have told me he was around during her last few relationships too and said she never would date him but also wouldn't stop hanging out with him either.

she's also very selective, private and deceptive about her life, social media posts about guys of past me and this friend and won't add ever add me to her fb and has yet to post any pics if us together or mentions of me. i get the sense she's hiding me from something or someone.

Am i being used for weekday admiration and stability vs his weekend huge trips? she gets upset when bring it up nicely, throws a tantrum even when caught in a lie, then insults me for being too sensitive.

Updates:
2mo
She got me excited for weeks in advance about my birthday, turning 30. On my bday night, she sent an old social media pic via text, yet lied she took it that mornng, no gift, bday card, anything. she was 30 mins late to dinner and then fell asleep cold 10 mins into movie after. I said the next day it was kinda rude to sleep and replied that she took time out of her night to be with me even though she was extremely tired and that should say something. no remorse or respect. my fault.
2mo technically not exclusive even though we hang out 2-3+ times a week for 6 months. I asked her to be my girlfriend at month 4 and said im great but not yet bc she's always been in relationship and wants to experience dating. Said she cared about me and wasn't searching, but if a guy asked her out she wouldn't she say no. I asked again to be my girlfriend month 5 and she said end of summer she'd be ready for exclusive. she's in Germany now euth him and im still in relationship purgatory

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Leave that bitch. You are too good 4 her

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What Girls Said 4

  • Seems to me that her friend likes her, bc I feel like a guy wouldn't pay or make so much time for just any girl, even if they are just friends. Also, she might not admit it, but she probably loves that he does these things for her, I mean who wouldn't love being pampered like that? and since they've been friends for so long, she's comfy around him. But I feel like if she really liked him, she would be with him. And since she's not with you, why would she lie to you about her feelings about him? I feel like you need to man up and ask her if she likes you. Be straight forward with it, bc this seems really confusing. She's rejected you twice, which is weird if she does like you. Most of the time when a girl likes a guy, she'll be with him. Have y'all done anything sexually? Have y'all kissed or whatever? Bc if not, then try it out.. if you have, then how does it feel? Does it feel right? Bc you'd know if it does. I know it seems bad that she was late or whatever, but you need to take control and figure it out. Don't be upset if you get rejected. It happens and it's normal. Maybe she's been really hurt too. Get to know her on a personal level

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    • 2mo

      Also, I have a best friend that I've been friends with since we were 10 or 11. My current boyfriend knows that, but he doesn't get upset about it. I don't know maybe Bc I always show him off in front of him. I feel like girls are suppose to do that, so drama doesn't occur. Now I feel like if I didn't do any of that, my boyfriend would be weirded out. Ok, but if he had a friend that was the opposite sex, and he's known her for years, I would be a little bit jealous, but at the same time okay with it. I can't tell him who he should be friends with. BUT if this girl is a "new friend," and they hung out all the time, then I don't give a damn, I would be really sketched out by it and would assume that he's doing something with her, Bc this is a new female in his life. Does that make sense?

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    • 2mo

      thats cruel to do. love isn't a game

    • 2mo

      Yeah you're right. I know. But it is what it is, and I had my fare share and my ass kicked by it already. So you live and you learn

  • Ok, before I give my opinion, is this male friend of hers gay, do you know?

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    • 2mo

      str8, never married

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    • 2mo

      and about the mormon sex thing. i hear ya which is why her actione confuse me. thinking she feels guilty bc she's done more than she lets off or maybe fights the mental and human nature of physical desires so much she goes ice cold and makes up justifications. she's hard to read and not very clear at expressing emotion

    • 2mo

      do you think he reason for me never meeting him seems sketchy? like using him to keep me uncomfortable or uneasy how she feels to keep me attending her and takung her out and being comforting during the week. im the stability she wants but he's the rugged thrill guy and. she isn't over the tough guy phase yet at 34.

  • You're dating someone else's girl

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  • No your not. It's really dodgy and you need to get clearance about that...

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    • 2mo

      also caught her lying about being on tinder why on an out of state getaway with him. she denied it but truth doesn't lie. mileage changed from 11 miles to 127. exactly the distance to the place they went. i didn't bring it up until late and she got pissed yelling at me saying she was never on it while away. (not ever, just away). but tinder only changes mileage when opened in use

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    • 2mo

      and she texts me good morning every day for last 4 months

    • 2mo

      Hun she's still not committed so can't really expect much from that

What Guys Said 4

  • "she's also very selective, private and deceptive about her life, social media posts about guys of past me and this friend and won't add ever add me to her fb"

    She is secretive, she is a lier, she maybe cheating on you with that guy... She goes to vacation for two weeks with him? And he pays for her? Didn't let you meet him at all?

    This is very UNACCEPTABLE behavior on her part. If I was your I would dump her immediately and cut her out of my life... DUMP THIS HOE!!

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  • Well like you said, she hasn't commited anything to you, so there's not much to say here really. She's not your girlfriend and unless your relationship is meant to be exclusive than it's hard to really care what she's doing. It doesn't really sound like she wants to tie herself down especially if you keep asking and she keeps putting it off. I would be dating other girls myself.

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    • 2mo

      even with allof her promises and assurances?

    • 2mo

      If she's not your girlfriend how the hell can you care what she does? If she's telling you she want's to date, its clearly because she wants to date other people as well. If you can't handle this and bounce. She sounds pretty shitty to me honestly.

  • she's banging him

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  • TL;dr

    Sorry

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