I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years... about 4 months ago. I went to visit my brother to Mexico city. I decided I was lonely and it was about time to have fun and meet someone, so I downloaded Tinder. I am 25 and I matched with this really cute guy (27) and we started talking for 2 days. He was funny, smart and looked really cute on his pics. He invited me to a bar and I decided to go out with him. We met and instantly clicked. I was so attracted to him and he seemed pretty attracted to me. He asked about my family and kept talking about the future and about his family and work. Some of his friends were there and we all talked and he told me his friends loved me and that I was so cool and thanked me for coming. We had a lot of drinks. Then we kissed and things got intense. We walked outside and just kept talking and he showed me the city, it was so much fun! We took an uber back to his apt. I was pretty wasted we hooked up. We didn't have sex, but got to 2nd base. In the morning we kissed some more and I touched him etc. I thought the night was amazing... but THEN he said something like why don't u wanna have sex, do you want a boyfriend? And I instinctively said "no, I just broke up so no lol" and then I wanted to go, I just felt weird waking up there next to him on the first date and I left. I didn't kiss him goodbye. Later that day I left town and he texted me saying he had an awesome time and that I should let him know when I am back in town. But after that, he just stopped texting, like nothing at all! From texting all the time the previous days, to zero! Was that just a hookup and nothing else? What should I expect? I want to see him again but maybe I do want a boyfriend and he just wanted to hookup... I will visit again soon. That's why I don't have casual sex. I get attached. What should I do? Do you think it's appropriate if I text him again once I am back in town?
Went on my first Tinder date! What to expect now? or did I do something wrong?
What Guys Said 16
In my opinion, I think you did right thing to hold off on sex. I mean, you recently broke up with your boyfriend of 4 years and the last thing you need is a rebound guy. I know you and everyone else has needs sexually, but you need this time to get your life back and then ease in to it again or until you're ready for another relationship. Yeah, tinder to me a great hookup sight, and I'm sure he was looking for a one night stand, I could be wrong though, because there are genuine people out there but they are far to hard to find, and trust. Be careful when meeting people on the internet. I think when you're in town again you should do what you feel is right, who knows though, you may have met someone by then where you're at and don't need to contact him anymore. Well maybe for a friend to hang out with while your there visiting your brother again.1
"We took an uber back to his apt." Taxi, it's a TAXI. You younger people are really screwed in the future, they've made you all dumb.
1: you sound superficial seeing as how you mentioned he's cute twice (in a short time no less)
2: break up your writing when you write something long like this. no one wants to read a big block
3: you got wasted on the first date, WOW.
4: you spent way too much time with him on the first date
5: you're not supposed to really do anything on a first date, you don't even know this person
6: you sound very easy and he could see that
7: you met on tinder. tinder is basically for hookups
8: add 6 & 7 together
9: i wouldn't have done any of that with you because i want a classier, self respecting girl0
I don't like the fact that it sounds like he was trying to guilt you about it. I say if you go out with him again hold out again and see if he gets pissed off. Unless you're just looking for a hookup, then whatever.1
Regardless of what people say, a larger majority of the people on tinder are just looking for hook-ups. I don't think this dude is much different from the sound of it.1
Yeah he seems to be the guy who's not into texting. When two people live far off there is no point of texting... He seems to be more of a face to face guy like me. Text him when you are in his city1
He wanted a hookup, simple as that. A guy who can get girls on Tinder to instantly see him as "really cute, funny and smart" (girls are much more picky on Tinder than in real life) knows he can get laid as many times as he want and will expect to get laid. Even if such a guy was looking for a girlfriend (and your guy definitely wasn't) there'd be 20 girls waiting in line for him so he would be breaking a lot of hearts.0
You didn't have sex with him so he nexted you. I don't
blame him. If a girl gets me hot and bothered and we don't fuck
I'm through with her.1
Tinder is full of people who want one nights stands and those who think anyone they meet online will be a serial killer. Sounds like you met with the latter.0
Well you hooked up instead of being that 1 out of a 100 girl who doesn't sleep with him that quick and manages to stimulate his mind. One girl is going to wow him0
You went on tinder looking for someone fun and hot and found it... If you expected any good to come from it I don't know what to tell you...0
When you have sex early, you are usually get attacted to the sex part, and not so much the person. Thats why , in my opinion its better to wait, and see if there's chemistry. And tinder is more for people who want to fu+k.0
If you don't live anywhere near each other, it's probably a hookup.0
He found another Tinder date who would go past 2nd base.0
Tinder is for hooking up. So it was likely a hookup.0
God I love tinder 🤔0
yo, be careful with tinder man, lots of weirdos out there. best not to use it to date1
What Girls Said 5
I've been on a couple tinder dates. The thing is if you're not living full time nearby each other, he's probably going to assume you're just in it for a hook-up. If you're really interested in this guy, feel free to text him again when you're back in town, but keep your guard up if you're looking for something more than a few nights hooking up when you're in town and no contact in between. There's a chance he didn't think anything more long-term was an option, but there's also a chance he's just not interested in anything more. The guy I'm just starting to date started trying to have sex the first time we went out, but I stopped it because I want to wait till I'm married and he ended up staying for sveeral hours and asking me lots of deep questions about my beliefs, and we've gone out again since then. He might have thought he was on tinder for sex, but if he's willing to keep spending time with someone who won't give him what he wanted, he probably was open to a relationship all along. You never know what your guy might be open to until you ask. So feel free to give him another shot, but don't be all in right away, just in case. Gotta take care of yourself too. Tinder is crazy and seems like a hopeless place to start dating for real, but it's not impossible. I've met several very nice guys there.1
Well it sounds to me like he very well probably just wanted something casual. Nothing wrong there. But if you think you want a boyfriend, then maybe it's not time to have a hook up?
Your breakup just happened, you did nothing wrong. But maybe take some time to just focus on yourself for a bit. Break ups are hard and it can be even harder if you are then having to navigate a new situation with a new person.
I think part of the reason you are so conflicted is that you have a lot going on emotionally right now. A guy talking about the future on a first date is way too soon. And most likely he was just making conversation so you would like him. And sleeping over on the first date is a bit much too. Again, not a huge deal, but considering your circumstances, it's maybe too soon to jump into that.
Take some time to yourself. Enjoy time with friends and work on yourself. When you know what you want, then go out and go for whatever it is that makes you happy.
It sounds to me like you are unsure whether you want something casual or a relationship. Take some time to figure that out and then go for what it is you want.0
He wants to get laid0
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