How do white men feel about black women? (no hateful comments please)

Question

I am a black woman who has always been pretty curious about what it would be like to date a white guy. I see handsome white men all of the time, but I'm usually too shy to approach them, and they never show interest anyways. I know for a fact that I'm not the only black woman feeling this way. My friends and I talk about this all of the time and  they want to try dating a white guy just as much as I do. Something about them is just SO appealing to us. Basically, I'm wondering if I should even bother approaching a white man. I want to know if white guys are as interested in black women as we are in them. Please enlighten me!:-D lol

Setsu · Accepted Answer

Just entered a relationship with a black woman myself, and I'm already 99% convinced that she's the very woman I was born for. :) We took our relationship off-site on Thanksgiving and went public on Black Friday , if you can believe that. :P In the interest of fairness I should admit that she is my first black girlfriend, but I have definitely been attracted to black women before. Once I knew that I could trust her as a woman (not as a black person) and that she was interested in me, I was putty in her hands. The only fear that I had about going public was that other people might view it as an echo of the legendary Master/Slave relationship, as yet another instance of the Big Bad White Man living up to his sinister reputation by stealing something precious from the black community.

I think you'll find that a lot of white men would love to date you. They're just scared that you might hold their race against them. We get lectured so loudly and often that our ancestors were evil and that we're "privileged" because we're white that the task of approaching you often looks like running across a minefield. Left to our own devices, we never know which idle word is going to get our legs blown off, so we usually try to stay clear of the blast radius. As white *men*, we get a double dose of The Lecture, so it's easy to feel like we already have two strikes against us before we can even pick up the bat. The relationship between Kip and LaFawnduh strikes us as funny because it looks like a far-flung hope of quixotic proportions... and because more often than we like to admit, we relate to Kip, who spends most of the movie looking like a complete loser.

It might take a little more effort than usual to make us feel safe enough to approach you, but if you're willing to help us break the ice, we will practically worship you. There's nothing sexier than a little open interest. ;) Go for it, sistah! There's gold in them hills! :D

Subotai · Accepted Answer

Its funny  I don't think very many white men think black women find them attractive.  I think a lot of white men are nervous to try to ask a black girl out.   I think some black women are definitely hot, plenty of black women are very pretty,  I love when they don't straighten their hair and have braids and afros, and to be honest black girls tend to have big butts that's attractive to me.  A lot of black women are smart independent minded and not as likely to play dumb for men and be clingy.  Ironically despite what rap might say black women seem like they are goldiggers much less so than white women.  I like black women who are polite and approachable.  I am not a racist, at least  I don't think I am but black women who act ghetto talk loud and a lot of slang are frankly kinda intimidating to approach, guys don't like rejection from a woman they wanted especially if its witty loud in front of a bunch of people profanity laced and in a dialect they probably don't understand.  We fear verbal beat downs from women almost as much as women fear physical abuse from men.  I find that a lot of older black women seem like really nice people to talk to but a lot of younger black girls frankly don't.  It's not that all black teenage girls are mean, they just seem to act like it to try to be tough or something.  Its not that it offends me it just sorta puts up a wall.  That said a lot of white guys are totally racist and wouldn't even consider dating a black girl or would only be interested in sex.  That's their problem and means they aren't worth your time, nothing for you to feel bad about.

RenieBeg · Accepted Answer

To be completely honest, I have always had an attraction to white men and despite what some may say about my attraction, it has always been a preference. Over the course of many years I have wanted to date white men, but let the fear of rejection keep me from doing so. What I find very absurd, is this fact that some black men disagree with us (black women) dating white men, but often date outside of their race also. I would very much like to date a white man and see no harm in it, with that being said and after reading this post/comments I am now more aware that white men are just as approachable as any other race. Thanks for all of the helpful comments everyone. You all have helped me out tremendously.

Libdre · Accepted Answer

Hello, I find white guy's attractive and I have met a few on dating sites but the one's that would try to converse with me was not my type at all they were a lot older , I've never approached a white man basically because they are intimidating to me, And it's funny because most black guy's that I date thinks I'm mixed because of my skin color , My hair and my eye color, But I'm not I would totally date a white man I love the color of their eyes and I would love to run my fingers through their hair but I am from the south and I don't see much of WM with BW.

Vicktoreeuh · Accepted Answer

LOL. I totally know what you mean. I was there just recently.

But white men are interested in black women it just depends on what region you are in.

Here in Texas its a little hard to come by but they are there. I am actually only attracted to white men and I prefer to date men who aren't black. = ]

Kirkpatrick · Answer

Well yes opposites do attract!  I'm a white guy who has dated several black women.  I was once engaged to a Westindian woman but she ended up f***ing my younger brother, so I took my engagement ring back.  I didn't stop dating black women, however, whenever I could find one who was brave enough to put up with the racial abuse we got just for walking down the street together, mostly from young black men.  (I live in London, by the way.)  The last woman I was serious about was from Jamaica.  I wanted to marry but in the end she told me "I don't want to be with no white man.  I have to be with a black man.  I don't want no half-caste kids".  What could I say?  When I think about it, I'm lucky I didn't marry her and I kick myself to think that I had such poor judgement.  But how can you know in advance if a woman, especially a woman you're passionate about, can take the full heat of inter-racial romance?  It can be lovely but BE SURE YOU'RE UP FOR IT is my advice.  You may have to make some hard choices.  It's not the way things should be but it's the way things are.  Good luck!

ErikM · Answer

Yes, I'm most defintely attracted to black girls, but I'm Norwegian (northern Europe), and we don't have many black girls here who would date white guys because most are African Muslims. What I like about some black girls is that they often have nice smooth skin, lovely curves and a nice smile. Obviously, personality is the most important, and we'd have to be compatible (see my comment on Muslim African women).

I think that in Norway we have a different perception of things than in the US. Guys here aren't used to meeting black girls and we don't have the same preconceived notions of African Americans as you might have there.

scar1 · Answer

I am actually rarely attracted to white girls I am very attracted to black, black Hispanic and Asian girls. Though Asians are my preference. Just wondering where do black girls with your preference live. I've only heard of this on the Internet. Unless both people are suburban. Also generally its not a race thing, its a culture thing. Most suburban people only date suburban people. A lot of them, if not the majority are straight up prejudice of urban people. My preference is rare but most white guys like black girls if not more than white girls.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly I think its not that white guys don't like black women, I think its more like their afraid of the race barrier and they are worried about the womans feelings and social anxieties, which can lead to rejection which always sucks.  If you're into a white guy try to be a little more intimate and flirtatious.  If he's smart he should pick up on these hints and ask you out, if he draws back that means he's not into you and not to worry you win some you lose some, and if he stays the same that just means he's not good at reading body language and you need to be a bit more blunt...lol...

lonleyfirefighter · Answer

Hello Shayna, I have always been intrigued by women of color. However, much like you. I find myself being shy and therefore I am reluctant to approach a woman regardless of her color. I have dated quite a few ladies over the years and in all cases I have been approached with the exception of two. I'm sure you will find this to be strange. But then again, I am a strange person. Lol... In a good way that is. So to answer your question, I think if you approach a white gentleman, you will find yourself pleasantly surprised. I think there are more of us affected by the " oh so shy syndrome " lol... I certainly hope that I was able to shed a little light on your questions.

HumphreyT · Answer

It's a preference. There are a lot of white guys attracted to black females.

Make sure you get one that is willing to date you for the right reasons and not just a hook up.

I'd say wait until they introduce you to friends or family before really putting a lot of stock in them, but yes white men do like black women.

This is really a case by case basis it's not fair to ask if white men feel a certain way because they all have different opinions, but some are definitely attracted to black women.

Anonymous · Answer

There's so many questions like this on the website. Gah.

Everyone is different. I don't know why you generalize and want generalized comments.

There are lots of black women who aren't interested in white guys so your statement, "I want to know if white guys are as interested in black women as we are in them" is weird.

There are white guys who like black women and white guys who don't. Yes, white guys who like black women exist, but you can't tell if a guy is that type just by looking at him. The only guaranteed place you will find such men are on an interracial dating site.

Simple as that.

MissUnderstoodx · Answer

I've dated plenty of white guys and yes they are cute and fun to be with but truly they are the same as any other guy. The only main difference that I have seen between white and black guys is that black guys think that they own girls , and cheat  and that white guys are so possive and are easily angered and can also be push overs. Other than that guys are guys it just depends on the person your with not so much the skin color.

Brando · Answer

It just depends on the guy really. Unless he's living in the last century or he just doesn't find black women attractive, then a guy isn't going to treat you any different than a white, Asian, Hispanic, etc. woman. I personally have had crushes on plenty of black girls before.

hunnie-bunches · Answer

where I am from louisville ky, you see a lot of white girls with black men and white girls with mexicans.but most of the black girls I know say they like white men but they fell the same as you so I went around asking white men if they would date a black girl and they said yea but they said they don't think any black girls like white guys.they feel like the black girls are affraid of how the black men will think...

Anonymous · Answer

Most white guys would kill for the opportunity to be with a black woman I mean I don't know why but it's a point of pride with us if you are attractive you can pretty much count on a white guy saying yes and then banging the bajesus out of you just to prove to himself he can give you an orgasm because the myth/stereotype of black men having a large penis also translates to black women are larger to accept a big black penis so therefore if me a white guy can make a big vagina black woman come than a white vagina should be easy.

Rahim517 · Answer

That's a tough one.  Basically, the reluctance of white men to date black women continues because even white guys who are interested in BW operate under the assumption that they are AT BEST a distant second option to black men in the eyes of BW.  BW need to come out and let it be known that they are actually interested in WM of their own accord, not as a fallback.

Honeybaby · Answer

Some white guys are really sexy, I would definately date a sexy attractive guy regardless of skin tone, but I think they are afraid to ask out a brownie especially in the UK. Not all of us are loud and rowdy, I think that depends on your social surroundings.

bytesunfish · Answer

White guys don't typically date white women. Many just don't find them attractive, but others have their own hate issues. For the average guy in my area, they have nothing against them. There are stereotypes however... loud... belligerent... but those are just stereotypes.

lonlehube · Answer

I think you should take your region into consideration.  I am from the Great Lakes area, and see white men with black women frequently.    I have also spent some time in East Texas, and I would have to say that is probably not accepted very well there.   Personally pretty is pretty, sexy is sexy.  Being married I would doubt if I get a chance to date a black women, but if I found her attractive, and we connected on a personal and intellectual level, of course I would date her.

hallowman · Answer

i realy find all women attractive...if my parents weren't old fashioned id like to date a black girl ...now when I say that I mean someone who is themselvs probably not the kinda people that inforce styerotypes(and I mean that is what I'm attracted to)...but you look nice if I could id like to give ya a chance

Peedesperation · Answer

I am a white guy in the UK, for me its all about personality and not colour or race, you are either attracted to someone or your not. My view is if you like someone then go for it, if they are not interested because of your colour or race then they ain't worth sh*t. Good luck

ConnorMac · Answer

It seems like both black girls and white guys are equally afraid to approach the other. ha ha I also have never dated a black woman, but at this point in my life, I'd actually prefer it to a white woman. I'm the kind of guy who grew up watching movies like Foxy AND Jackie Brown practically salivating over Pam Grier, if that gives any insight. haha

stalinhornsby · Answer

The bothers should aswer that because they have your back. If you are a single woman with single residency and a white girl as a room mate that would open some doors for you. You may have to be in a situation of having a great job and the protections and respect that would keep the black men from knocking at your door. A white guy would have to be very confident to date a black woman; too much pressure from the hood.

phenixblack · Answer

Are you kidding me your gorgeous...how come I never get to meet girls like you I mean your probably a little taller than I would date or whatever but I would introduce you to some guys who would love you

How do white men feel about black women? (no hateful comments please)

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