Guy I like was previously in an emotionally abusive relationship, how can I help him be comfortable in a relationship?

I've been talking to this guy for a month now, we've been on and off giving it a go as he sometimes needs space and the distance to deal with the aftermath of his abuse, which is totally understandable, and I'm willing to wait until the relationship progresses further because it feels like something that could progress into a relationship, but I want to let him know in more ways than just telling him that I'm there for him and don't know how would be best to do that without making him feel uncomfortable or guilty for making me wait a while to be able to get close to him.

I like him so much and I don't want to let him know just how much because again I don't want to do anything that might be too much for him to deal with right now, especially where I don't know details of his abuse and don't want to pry into what he may not want to talk about.

This would also be my first relationship as I'm getting over problems to do with having even physically abused in the past and he understands my barriers when it eventually gets to a physical stage, so I'm not fully sure or how to handle things except just letting him know I'm there for him and waiting for him to want to give things a go (because he has told me he wants to it's just dealing with things thats stopping him) so I'm just wondering whether I'm going about things the right way or whether there's anything else I could do in order to help him?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Be there for him. Listen to him. Love him. Care for him. Be patient and understanding with him. If he cares for you, he will forget his past and love you.

  • You nailed it. Be patient. Be a good listener. Be there for him.


What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like you should both be seeing therapists not getting into a relationship :/