He's never had a girlfriend... inexperienced or uninterested?

So I went out on a date with a coworker. He and my friend (other coworker) went out on a meeting together and found out some stuff about him: He used to be very heavy and he had to work to keep the weight off (how he looks now). Because of his weight he's never had a relationship before (he's 27) and told her he's picky about girls because he knows that a lot of girls would never look at him then the way they do now. So my friend told him that I thought he was cute and he apparently said i was his type. So the following happened:
1.) He friended me on fb a few days after their talk
3.) Two months later he finally comes up to my desk to talk and congratulate me on my move (I moved closer to the job) and said we should get drinks some time.
4.)2 weeks after that he messages me asking if I wanted to grab drinks the next week.
5.) The drinks date was right after work and he drove us, opened the car door for me, and the door to the bar, he paid, he said he thought i seemed like a "good girl/relationship girl" when talking about how he perceived me, BUT during the date he kept bringing up girls and dropping girls into stories he was telling and mentioning Tinder dates, "cute" girls etc a LOT. He hugged me goodnight and dropped me off and told to text him when i got home safe. I did and said I had a lot of fun and he said he did too and we should do it again.
6.) I don't hear from him for a week so i text him and he asks what I'm doing next weekend. We made tentative plans and he texts me once during the week and likes one fb post. The day of I don't hear from him so at 4pm I text and ask if we still have plans. He said he meant to text me but he was sick the previous night and was back in bed. I said okay no problem. He responds "sorry! It just snuck up on me how was the rest of your weekend?" and I just said fine, etc and told him to feel better. He didn't reschedule the date though and I wouldn't have known he canceled if i didn't check. Did he lose interest?


What Guys Said 3

  • I don't know if he lost interested but he is not showing any. He may be shy, not ready to show too much interest, or be concerned that he is starting to like you a lot more than you like him.

    At this point I would not give this too much time/attention unless you really like him a lot.

    Question, are you starting texts about as often as he is starting them? If you do like him, you need to show interest and make it clear.

    • 22d

      Hi, thank you for this. He never really texted me much at all except to make our initial plans so I figured either he's not a texter or it's too early to text a lot. He does always respond and almost quickly though. And it took him a long time to finally ask me to get drinks (almost 2 months). After that first date where he kept bringing up girls I couldn't tell if it was him being insecure or if he's a player used to girls doing all the work. Besides that I really enjoyed our date but he moves so slowly and him not telling me he couldn't make our second date was a bit disrespectful. Do you think because he's never had a girlfriend he just doesn't know what he's doing?

    • 22d

      Not calling you was very disrespectful and which is why I would not hope too much for this one, unless your heart is already invested.

      I asked a girl out for this Friday. She got sick during the week and didn't feel well enough to go out on Friday. So she asked me over and we watch tv and talked. That is how you handle it if there is interest there. He should have told you during the week he wasn't feeling good, and at least rescheduled the date. If he likes you he wants to see you even if he isn't feeling well, and maybe even more.

      If you heart is already in it, keep trying, show interest and let him know you would like to reschedule your date. If you heart is not already in it, save yourself some grief and put him on the back burner.

  • from what you wrote. its possible he thought you were going to reject him. now that you have showen interest it may have scared him a bit. shy peoe often expect a NO for an answer when we get a YES? it sometimes scares us. what am i going to do she said yes? shy gus are pushovers. dominate him! get into the lead role in the relationship. most shy guys often expect to be dominated by a woman.

    • 21d

      Hi, thanks for the input! From a guy's point of view, what did I do that might have made him think I would reject him? I agreed to the date but he took the lead on the first date so I figured he would do the same for the second. Do guys ever ask girls out on a second date just because its easier to cancel and let them down that way than it is to not ask them out at all?

  • Not that unusual something like this happens to men more than women


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