My boyfriend is happy that his friend broke up with her boyfriend?

so my boyfriend has this friend (girl) who he's really close to. and they talk on calls a lot and stuff. they've known each other for longer than him and i did. and like he used to tell me that he's very annoyed with her boyfriend because her boyfriend will always find trouble with my boyfriend for being too close to his girlfriend. IM SORRY IF THIS IS COMPLICATEd. but yes that boyfriend wld always text my boyfriend to get away from his girlfriend and he'll get really annoyed. and so today he texted me that he's really happy cuz that girl's boyfriend just got dumped by her. and now im getting really paranoid cos does this mean that he'll go to her? please help

Updates:
2mo guys im just afraid that without her boyfriend as a barrier anymore, they wld be able to talk more often and he might develop a romantic interest for her.
2mo these days I've been busy with school so i think they talk and call a lot more often. when he's lonely and bored, she's probably always there by his side. but im never there because im always busy. but i do text him a lot. the thing is these days he has became distant and takes forever to reply my texts. he doesn't show as much affection as well. whats going on?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Instead of overthinking it, do the most rational thing. Talk to him about this. Tell him you are worried. Don't feel afraid to show your insecurities. Open-up to him so this can be settled in a mature way. Give him a chance to give you the answers you seek. Asking us might actually cause more doubts, so go to the source.

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    • 2mo

      sigh tbh i dont think talking wld ever work for me. i always tell him that i feel insecure and scared that he'll go to another girl. he'll always reassure me and tell me that he only wants me. but im still worried as he is always calling and texting girls. and it'll be unreasonable if i ask him to not have any girl friends because i can't be with him 24/7 and he needs friends as well. idek man im sorry for being so ugh. i think i just have to get over myself. thank you though !! :)

    • 2mo

      I see, glad I have the philosophy of not befriending women. I go out of my way to only befriend men. Although my girl has male friends, but this isn't really about her. This has been my own rule for myself, because I find it to be the wisest choice for my future and present self. Anyway, but we are all different you see. My girl has a male best friend, but since I trust her, that's cool. You might not trust his friends, sure but you can try to trust him. That is a part of what a relationship is. Good luck to you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop getting paranoid. They have a history together as friends, and its just as friends. He's happy, because the guy was not right for his friend. He sees her as a 'sister', and would you want somebody to hurt somebody you care and love as friend/sibling? I think not. What they have is maturity. And right now as a 17 year old you don't understand that maturity yet, because you never experienced that with a male friend. Until you do and develop such relationships, your going to get jealous. And jealousy in relationships is immaturity.

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    • 2mo

      @EmHenz

      Update: Then you need to speak with him directly and stop beating around the bush if you truly feel that his behavior and actions warrants such concern. If your not securing your place as his girlfriend then maybe you two should not be together. Your very insecure right now and that is not healthy. But it doesn't all the time have to do with his friend. Talk to him, and make him understand where you are coming from. You have to stand up for your relationship and let him know that you won't tolerate being ignored like this. Either he comes clean about what he really feels and wants or your going to move on. You won't have a choice. Its nobodies fault. Feelings are feelings and it happens. But you do need to allow him to make a decision. It will hurt, but its better than him growing to hate you because you won't let him be honest.

    • 2mo

      i asked him before, if he's slowly getting tired of me. and he just said no and that he loves me a lot.

    • 2mo

      @EmHenz

      That is not enough reason and you need to explain that him. Anybody can throw the word 'love' around. It doesn't mean his actions aren't questionable.

What Guys Said 10

  • people come on let's not be that paranoid.
    And i'm not really talking about OP here, but about the guy saying "no guy can be just friends with a girl". I feel sorry for the girlfriend you will have. Hopefully there will be none. Because you will turn into that bitch of a boyfriend trying to put a collar on your girlfriend and keep her in the house all day.

    if we take this conversation to extreme, yes there would be a lot of people fucking people, but guess what, the perfect circumstances for that to happen are reeeally low.
    If you watch this forum carefully there are lots of people that cannot get a gf/bf or cannot get laid at all because reasons.
    So even if these people WANT to and are single (so no strings), even if they TRY to, they CANNOT! Why? because it's not only about their will, it's about finding someone else willing to do so with them.

    I honestly don't believe he would have shared that with you. He wouldn't have texted you saying how glad he is about his friend breaking up IF he had an interest in her.
    He would have kept his joy to himself if he was involved in this story in a different way.

    Don't get paranoid. Life sucks that's all I can say. I've seen some nasty behavior. But it wouldn't get you anywhere to feel threatened about everything.
    Also you mentioned that he knows her from well before getting with you. I believe he would have tried getting with her if interested instead of dating and wasting time to know you.

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    • 2mo

      maybe he tried but didn't succeed. thats why he resorted to dating me? and now that that girl broke up with her boyfriend, there might be a chance of them getting together. she's so much prettier, outgoing and friendly than me. plus these days I've been busy with school and can't talk to him. i think they call each other everyday. isn't there a risk that something might happen :(

  • "does this mean that he'll go to her?" No. If they're good friends they're good friends. That's it. Well, the outcome depends on how loyal a boyfriend he is. But it does not necessarily implies that he'll be cheating. It's a mere possibility.
    "guys im just afraid that without her boyfriend as a barrier anymore, they wld be able to talk more often and he might develop a romantic interest for her. " Although your fears may be justified, you can't live in a world of mistrust, rivalry, and fear. Trust him if he's trustworthy, don't if he's not. Don't let doubts or fear ruin your happiness with him. You could live all your life with that fear and it would ruin your life. Imagine it, you're afraid it will happen all your life. nothing happens. You just ruined your life. Don't allow the green eyed monster (jealousy or fear of it) destroy what you have. enjoy while it lasts. And it might last a lifetime.

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    • 2mo

      sigh im not even sure if he's trustworthy or not. there's no way for me to ever check that.

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    • 1mo

      but some fkboys can act really nice and stuff. but in actual fact that have like tons of other girls.

    • 1mo

      sigh i think i met too many of those that now i have serious trust issues

  • Be very careful with this one.

    I know it has been said and many don't believe it, but a man can not be just friends with a girl that he is very attracted to. I have lots of female friends, but I am not attracted to the ones I stay just friends with long term.

    If he is not physically attracted to this girl, don't worry. He is happy that his friend got out of a bad relationship.

    If he is attracted to her, be careful.

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    • 2mo

      I don't know if he is attracted to her or not though

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    • 2mo

      Then you need new friends.

    • 2mo

      true but yeah, that's the case now.

  • If you fully trust you boyfriend then it shouldn't be a problem or issue. If they been friend's a long time your boyfriend and that girl then thing's should be ok if they are just friend's.

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    • 2mo

      If he truly loves her he wouldn't even talk to another girl all the time and be that happy that her boyfriend broke up with her he shouldn't even care that muchh about her

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    • 2mo

      @j8k322597 but if you get too close to a friend of an oppositie gender, dont you think its pretty dangerous

    • 2mo

      if anything was gonna happen it would've happened. Especially by now, they are friends. Two of my best friends are girls, but i would never anything with them if i had a girlfriend. and on top of that, girls lose interest in any kind of romantic relationship after a time. U should, just in case, go hang out with the both of them, cause there are occasions where there are feelings for the friend. but that is very rare. I'm not saying its not dangerous, but the way you described it it seems like he was looking out for his friend, and the other guys was a jealous dick.

  • So what you're saying is that you don't trust your boyfriend. Kick him loose then, do him a favor.

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    • 2mo

      are you going to take full responsibility if i trust him completely and get cheated on without me even knowing?

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    • 2mo

      lmao you're so not accepting. if you're a good boyfriend who truly loves a girl, you'll be there along with her and show her that you love her. make her know that she can trust you. gain her trust. if you are going to leave a girl so easily because of her trust issues, trust me (pun not intended), you don't love her and you don't fking deserve her. no wonder you divorced.

    • 2mo

      You're the one who doesn't trust your boyfriend, but I'm not accepting? Hypocrite much?

      But your right... your 16 years of life and one or two boyfriends (obviously none of them serious) dwarfs my experience and knowledge gained thereof. I'm divorced largely because (shock!) my wife didn't trust me. So yes, I'm speaking from this little thing called "experience". Do him a favor and just don't be with him until you get some therapy to work through your insecurities and trust issues.

  • Well, if he wants to stay your boyfriend he'll stay your boyfriend. He could just be happy for his other friend, who knows? Talk to him about it.

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    • 2mo

      what if he wants the best of both worlds.

    • 2mo

      Then are you not ok with that? Talk to him about it. Find time in your busy life to maintain your relationship or it's gonna die

  • This is too confusing for my mind. Would it have been to difficult to say "A", "B", and "C"?

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    • 2mo

      my boyfriend - A
      my boyfriend's friend (girl) - B
      that girl"s boyfriend - C

      so the story goes. A is close to B. C gets jealous and finds trouble with A and asks him to get away from B. A gets annoyed and pissed by him. However, recently B and C broke up. Thus, A told me that he's really happy. what does this mean? so now they will be able to talk more. im scared something wld happen. AND B is so much fkjng prettier than me fml she's ATTRACTIVE and she calls my boyfriend all the time while i can't because im always busy with school. she's there when he's lonely and bored. im not. im never.

    • 2mo

      Thank you for the clarification. First, how invested are you in this relationship? Second, how long has A known B for?

      My first reaction seems that you'd want to talk to A.

  • but u said that they knew each other along time ago he could have dated her if he wanted to
    i think he is just happy that they broke up cuz he hates him thats all he won't have to see him or fight or whatever they used to.

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    • 2mo

      but this will give him the chance to talk to her freely then :(

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    • 2mo

      and those who say to u have trust issues r wrong its completely natural if u r jealous and worried just dont over do it tho :D

    • 2mo

      those times haven't happen before tho

  • ''but yes that boyfriend wld always text my boyfriend''

    you have 2 boyfriends?

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  • she's still his friend. if he doesn't like a guy, why should he see her suffer?

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What Girls Said 9

  • Maybe he's just thankful he doesn't have to put up with him anymore, coz he doesn't like him , and probably knows his female friend could find a guy who'll treat her better

    I wouldn't overthink at this stage. You'll just end up creating a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.

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  • I would just think that he recognised that his friend's boyfriend was controlling and is pleased that she broke up with someone like that. It doesn't seem to me like he's being inappropriate.

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  • If it develops, let it. If he leaves you so be it! You are young, you will probably have more than one boyfriend, If he goes to the other girl, then he never was meant to be anyway. He needs to figure out what he wants, and you need to learn to trust and or let go... best of luck

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    • 2mo

      i dont think I'll ever get another boyfriend tbh. im ugly af idek why he likes me. sometimes i think im just reliant on him like a fish that needs water because he might be the only guy who wld ever willingly walk into my life.

    • 2mo

      Never de-value yourself. Never think that. Everyone has something to offer and beauty is so many things... never forget that!

  • It doesn't necessarily mean that he will go to his friend or that he likes her or anything. If he did, they might have been together now before you guys got together anyway.

    But he might just be happy because he did not approve/like the guy she was dating and since they are so good friends, he - of course, only wants the best for his friend.

    Isn't that pretty normal to want your friend to find someone you also think is a good person? And who you approve of and might get along with?

    If some of my friends (girl or boy) had a partner I didn't get a long with and they broke up, I would be pretty happy as well.

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  • I would think if he wanted to date her he would have. But he's with you. You're always taking a chance when giving someone your heart. But if you create problems of what might happen then it will never work. He might like her, he might not. You just be the best girlfriend you can be. Don't drive yourself crazy. But keep your eyes open.

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    • 2mo

      @EmHenz Ask him. Tell him you're feeling a distance and you need to know if he is ok with how uour relationship is going.

  • Listen. Personally if my boyfriend was talking to another girl and being besties with her and then say he's happy she broke up with her boyfriend I would be pissed as shit and would have every right to. It's not being a crazy girlfriend, it's just being overprotective and jealous.

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  • Girl you better leave him bc im sad for you if you don't get jealous trust me something is gonna happen soo release your FBI's

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  • Your boyfriend subconsciously wants to be return his female friend. Hell drop u for her in a sec

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  • STOP BEING INSECURE!!
    Guys don't like a girl who thinks like that!
    Obviously they are bff's.
    You should watch My Best Friends Wedding and In Time With You. Figure out which one will happen to you.

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