Have you tried online dating? What are your experiences like?

I am beginning to become curious about online dating. I do meet lots of men and I go on dates often, but I feel that meeting men at bars and around town isn't a really great filter. The guys I am going on dates with are just not very serious or don't even meet my minimum requirements for a prospective partner. Online dating seems like a great way to filter through the masses and focus only on people who have the seriousness and the specific qualities you're looking for.

I work 45-50 hours a week and I am completing a master's degree program in the evenings. As much as I would love to meet someone, I just don't have the time to spend going on dates just to learn that the guy is the polar opposite of what I want. I cherish my free time because I have so little of it, and I don't want to spend it with guys who only want to get laid or that I have absolutely nothing in common with.

So please, tell me about what led you to get on dating sites. What kind of people did you meet? Was it a success?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've tried Eharmoney, OKC and Match. they were best in that order. Match I did not trust and it gets tiring sending out requests with no response (for guys).. women get the opposite... lots of requests from guys they don't want:) My brother met his wife there though.

    Eharmony I had several good matches, but few. I like how matches personality.

    OKC I like in terms of how it works (owned now by match). There are fake profiles, it takes time and energy. Not a high success rate, but some.

    you can meet people on GAG as well, I think that can be good as you get to know their thinking and intellect in public forum rather than their portrayal of themselves on a marketing site.

    It's harder to do online than in person because it is so easy to mis communicate in marketing and text and easier to build a rapport in person and get a sense of comfort. Texting is a false bonding/comfort. But there is more volume so opportunity online.

    In general, dating and finding someone seems harder than ever, not just me saying that but people I've talked to on both sides.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, @vera123, I Have. I still have my Profile on a Reputable Dating site.
    back in 2011, a Man from Egypt had Found me on Facebook and we Began a Wild Whirl Wind Romance by Chance. After getting to Know him and his family better, I then hopped aboard and went abroad to be with them all for 30 days. Things went so Well that after returning, I jumped Back on the Band wagon again. We then tied the knot at the Ministry of Justice. I resided there for a long while, trying to be a Muslim's wife.
    I am Back in the States for a few years now, and although I have Not gone Back to be with him, problems in the Middle East have Gotten worse and so on, I still use my Online Dating Site to do Some dating. I have Never had a problem, and from the Comfort of my own living room, I can Pick and Choose Who I Want to Talk to or Not. And of course, One needs to be Educated in Online anything.
    It's not for everyone, hun, but it seems to be the Big thing Today.
    Good luck and Give it a try. xx

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    • 2mo

      Damn.. that Muslim man in Egypt just stole your heart and never bringt it back to you huh? :D Whenever I see your comments about dating I always notice that "Muslim man in Egypt" lmao.

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    • 2mo

      @Jan1ssary_ from a Muslim man in Turkey, I will take your own Great advice and wise words I have no regrets that you are right. xx

    • 1mo

      Thank you for the Vote of Confidence. xx

What Guys Said 20

  • Online dating is undoubtedly the best way to date. If you just want to go home with someone for the night, then the bar or club is the way to go, but if you really want to date, then online is the best. I think that the best part of online dating is that you have the ability to date people that are outside of your comfort zone. All of the sudden, everyone is available to you regardless of education, income, or profession while "traditional" dating seems to get people into ruts where they date the same type of person over and over (and fail).

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  • I have done online dating twice, 2007-2008 and again in 2015. I used match. com, POF, and a few church affiliated sites. I started using online dating for the reasons you mentioned. It allows you to screen through many people at once. Don't want to date a smoker. Just check that box on the filter and it deletes the smokers! If I go to a bar to meet women, I usually meet the kind of women who hang out in bars, and I want more than that in a woman.

    I met a few women who misrepresented themselves. People sometimes do that when you meet them in person. I met four women who I dated for at least several months and, if I did not currently have a serious girlfriend (who I met on POF,) I would do online dating again. I probably would not use match. com again because I got messaged by scammers on a regular basis on that site. POF seemed to be a safer online environment. I have never used eHarmony but would consider trying it.

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  • I've never had a good experience with online dating, but I won't write it off. I just can't afford to spend $50+ a month on a dating service AND afford more than one $100+ date a month. Maybe two $100+ dates a month MAX, ONLY if I don't spend a penny on a dating service. Match & eHarmony completely stop you from sending or receiving any messages without paying. At least OkCupid lets you message for free, but they have THOUSANDS of Match Questions that needlessly remind you of the complexity of relationships. They even ENCOURAGE you to answer those questions in ways that make you sound unrealistically picky.

    Right now I'm just feeling so severely touch-deprived that I can't even focus on non-touch aspects of a relationship despite my acknoweldgement of their importance. X#2 in 2015 always emphasized the importance of the emotional component of the relationship. While I acknowledge said importance, I will NEVER stay in a relationship that does not fulfill my need for touch at all reasonable times.

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    • 2mo

      Who spends 100 dollars on dates? Damn.

    • 2mo

      @Afrochick That's what I was thinking. @APValerius you should be looking for less expensive places, or do activities like walking in the park or a little picnic. Dating doesn't have to be expensive, especially before you're official or exclusive.

  • it's how i met my wife. i tried match and eharmony. felt like eharmony was better in terms of meeting people with a clear goal of a long term relationship. definitely went on some lame dates, definitely met a few oddballs. it took time (like perhaps 2 years) but it led me to meeting the most amazing women

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    • 2mo

      i'm still shocked how compatible we are. how we literally can be thinking about the things.

  • Online dating is the only way I would ever date.
    fist off, I have never met a guy that thought "oh, I can find a quality woman in a bar'. the only reason you go to a bar it to drink and hope you get laid. Men look badly at women they meet in bars.
    second, I am a horrible judge of women ages. I have thought a woman was in her 20's just to find out she was in her late 40's, early 50's. and the other way around many times. SO I don't even pretend to figure out how old they are.
    I work at home, I hate bars, I don't go to church. The only way I am going to find someone is via online dating. Problem is that as much as women want equality, they don't want to make the first move in dating. It is very frustrating. So I am online, but I just leave it out there. I am waiting to find a woman that is interested enough to come after me.

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    • 2mo

      Good luck! Feminism is a big fat lie! They want equal opportunity and privilege not the responsibilities or obligations.

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    • 2mo

      **man not mean haha

    • 2mo

      "come after me" GOOD LUCK

  • Good question. I have been wondering about online dating also but from what I hear it is not a very good experience for people. If the girl that I'm try to ask out says no then I might just try it but limit my range to just my area.

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  • I tried it on and off since 2010. The chicks were ugly, weird, or flakey. Kinda like real life now that I think about it. The attractive ones were rare and either never messaged back or sent a few responses before disappearing. My overall impression is that online dating is absolute shit for guys unless you're either really willing to settle or are exceptionally lucky; like winning the lottery lucky.

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  • I've been doing online dating for 20 years... long before dating websites were a thing. I love it. Like you said, you can filter people out and you can have a LOT of conversation before even meeting them to see if they fit what you're looking for.

    I think out of all the women I've met, I've only had one negative experience. They didn't all pan out, but that's par for the course... not to be seen as a negative experience.

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  • No, but I investigated a few sites one time... The major free ones like POF seem to be filled with a lot of scummy girls... The apps like tinder are filled with even summier girls. The ones with the ridiculously long quiz seem to have more serious people, but I've never been compelled to actually use the sites. I know when I went through a quiz I started getting messages from a bunch of women who were medical doctors, attorneys, veterinaries, nurses, etc. and they presented themselves with a little bit of class. So I guess those ones might have some potential.

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    • 2mo

      Aw man I can only imagine who I would get matched up with around here. On tinder yuck

  • I did without any success I never got an email
    So I tried sending them to no avail. I suspect it means there are too many men and not enough women on dating sites. One funny thing though , I put up an ad on Friday for a language exchange partner , I was intending to come back to it today and message people. I found was deluged with Spanish speaking people (my target language) wanting to practice English. I imagine this the level of response women get on online dating sites

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  • a soul destroying experience.

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  • Tried. Total waste of time. Even worse than real life. Fatties and single mothers are the majority of what's out there, and the few that are neither have such a sense of entitlement that it's almost mind-blowing. And, being a man, I have to be absolutely perfect in every way, tick hundreds of boxes on a woman's lust, just to get a reply from a post-Wall single mother.

    No thanks. I have a LOT better results in person.

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  • I met a lot of interesting people. Some I only saw once, some I went out with for several months.

    There were a few timewasters/MySpace angles in there too, but overall it was positive.

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  • In theory, they're great. But in practice, at least in my experience, they're mostly scam bots trying to get your information or divert you to pay sites

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  • Yeah I had few chicks from different countries, I met with one of them but its hard.. and I'd never do it again.

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  • I have tried it and it work well. But they have their limitations. The matches ate normally long distance. and hence becomes impractical. You don't get a choice from your local area.

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  • Well from most people i heard from experience nightmares, relationships tend to fall apart , marriages never last

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  • join a paid dating site, it's the only way i think, I've met a lot of good girls even on the free sites

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  • Ya no luck sadly

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  • Yeah, been using a variety of sites for years including POF, okc, tinder, happn, etc. I've met a ton of women but sadly none of them have ever led to a serious relationship.

    Only times a girl did wanna keep seeing me was either clingy, crazy, or I just didn't find her attractive due to her using misleading pics.

    I know online dating has worked for some but most people seem to be frustrated with it as there's a lot of flaky people on there and it's like dating on demand.

    I still use the sites but I'd rather meet someone in person. Closest I've felt to a relationship, I got rebounded.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Personally I haven't , but I know quite a lot of people who have and who do. Most say they find it lowers their self-esteem , because they get too many rejections, but the dates they have had end up being unreliable and don't go anywhere

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  • I tried online dating. I no longer have profil in a dating site and I wouldn't make one. My opinion is that you have to meet someone in person because many people lie in their profiles. I've met some people that I know from dating sites and was disappointed. Most of the men only wanted sex, one of them was actually married, there was one that wants a threesome, etc. I don't think I could find the person for me on a dating site.

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  • I did Match. com and it was ok. I'm pretty average and I'd say it was similar to my real life dating experiences. A lot of young professionals are on Match. The guys told me the same - mostly it was close to real life for them. No miracles, but a good way to save time when you can't go out constantly.

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  • I didn't like it. I got more attention from men than I got in real life, which was flattering, but most guys were either really boring and cheesy, making a move too quickly or just looking for a hook up and that wasn't my thing.

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