He still has pics of his ex on Instagram and Facebook?

For me personally when I break up with someone whether it's friendly or not. I have a cleanse delete all my pics, donate the stuff they gave me to charity. For me it's helps me make that fresh start. The past is the past to me and I move on. I know everyone is not like that and I understand this. I know people like to keep little memories or pictures.

Anyway the guy I've been dating for the last 2 months it's been amazing. But the problem that's stopping me for getting into a serious relationship is the fact he has lovey dovey pictures up of him and his ex. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and a little insecure. Like is he looking at these pictures and missing her?

He keeps bringing up the relationship talk and making future plans but for me I'm guarding myself a little because of it. I would like to talk to him about it just so he knows that it does make me uncomfortable. But I'm worried he'll think, I'm backing him into a corner which is not what I want to do. Would you be upset if your new boyfriend/girlfriend kept pictures of them on social media? I just want to know what you all think before I do say something.

  • Yes it would make me feel really uncomfortable if he/she had those pictures up
    78% (38)32% (7)63% (45)Vote
  • No it wouldn't bother me
    16% (8)59% (13)30% (21)Vote
  • Other
    6% (3)9% (2)7% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm pretty sure he's not fully over his exes and would only use you as a rebound. Sooner or later you will have to make it clear to him that he needs to work on moving on and moving forward because that relationship is in his past and he can't change it. By dwelling onto it and hoping that one day he'll see her again and get her back is hurting the current relationship he is having with you. And if he doesn't agree and doesn't start to slowly remove traces of photos of his ex, then it's time for you move on because this relationship really isn't going anywhere since he's still dwelling on his past girlfriend and holding onto her emotionally and is unwilling to let her go in his mind and heart.

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    • 2mo

      Pictures absolutely do NOT equal residual feelings. You sound very insecure about relationships.

    • 2mo

      @justfluffeh

      I never had any relationships, but I've been observant of a lot of failed ones between my friends, family and relatives though. And I notice how they are after their recent breakups, still holding on dearly to the person that they already had lost. But for those that did manage to move forward they tossed out everything that remind them of their ex, even if it was very little bit at a time.

      I don't know if that makes me insecure. But I did lost the incentive to really go chase after anyone over time from what I've seen with my very own eyes and heard with my very own ears.

    • 1mo

      Thank you for the mho!

Most Helpful Girl

  • This may not be what you want to hear. Be very careful here. This is a sign that he is not completely over his ex, which means she still has power over him. My ex husband did this when we first started dating, I talked to him about it and he took all of the pictures down. However, he ended up cheating on me with that very same girl for the last two years of our marriage. If you talk to him about it, I would recommend doing more than just addressing the pictures. Try to gauge how he feels about her. If he still has feelings for her, then I would personally not pursue a relationship with the guy.

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    • 2mo

      I know like I completely agree with you. I remember I kept pics of ex hidden on my phone years ago because I was so in love with him I secretly liked to look at the pictures. I think the ones that give all that nonsense about it's a part of there past are still hung up someway or another.

What Guys Said 10

  • I mean I don't get bothered by it because if it's not thay serious I ually forget I have them on Facebook. The other day a friend and I were showing each other old Facebook pictures and I had pictures from a first date with an Ex I'm still friends with and pictures from an Ex I completely forgot about.

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  • I wouldn't be bothered by her bringing it up, but it would bother me if she couldn't be ok with it when I say I'm keeping the photos.

    That's part of my life and even if I do look at the memory fondly. It doesn't mean I go through any "what if's" or miss her. It's simply remembering that moment in time and being able to smile about it. I would see her asking me to get rid of them forever as a sign of distrust in my feelings for her and like she wants me to delete any happy memories of any girl in my life other than her. That I would not be ok with. Now I would be ok making those photos private only to me, so that portion of my past is not broadcasted. So no one, including my new girl wouldn't see them. If that's good enough, then we'd be fine. But if she would not accept anything less than me deleting my past, then it's an issue. I wouldn't burn my yearbook photos, nor family photos. Deleting years of happy memories, because my new girl doesn't want me to ever reminisce is eh. If it's something like an exes nudes, then that's something else. But just happy memories? Meh.

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  • Although I am like you in that I delete everything and anything that can serve as a reminded of a past relationship, I don't see anything wrong in keeping the pictures. Ex or not, that person was a part of his life at some point and he perhaps loved her deeply. Maybe the relationships you had didn't get to that point so it was easier for you to delete them, but the same may not be true for him.

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  • donate all the stuff they gave you to charity? that's pretty nuts, just so you know

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    • 2mo

      Why? I don't want it. When I'm done with person I'm done.

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    • 2mo

      Why is it creepy? I don't need the stuff, I want a fresh break don't want there things hanging around. So me giving stuff to charity is creepy so be it. At least they get good use out of my unwanted things.

    • 2mo

      lol no it's not noble because you donate it to charity. It's creepy because it suggests the entire thing meant nothing to you-you can burn it, give it away, and not look back. That shows many things-none of them positive about you. You can sell it as "generous" or "noble" but what it really shows is that the relationship was never real to begin with. you asked...

  • He needs to give up his past relationships to before he can start one with you.

    Two months is not a long time, but don't give your heart until he can give his heart to you.

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  • As A Guy I would personally keep the pictures because I feel like its wrong to erase those pictures because to me its like erasing memories which is... wrong at least to me once it is known it cannot not be unknown. But you have to make it clear you dont like that. You always have to make it work or else it will never work

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  • That's interesting because I would probably keep pictures of my ex on my phone because she was a part of my life for many years I would eraise her exsistance.

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  • It might sound weird but i still have a couple of pics of my ex on in my instagram and to be honest i never deleted any picture from my fb. All i did was that i just made them private so that no one sees it but i leave it all up in social media because those are memories you know? here's where it gets kind of weird, i think it would bother me if she had pictures of him on social media soecially if they were public cause it would make me think that she's not completely over him. Although, i am over my ex but i just keep it there for memories. If my future girlfriend ever brings it up i will take them down cause its understandable but if she doesn't say anything i won't take them down. Its weird... so if it makes you insecure for sure ask him to take it down and tell him not to talk about his ex anymore cause its bad for him and for the relationship.

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  • Yes if i were you i would be, especially when he's making future plan with you and it's time you talk about it, to see what is his response and that you can like turn thebpage about it

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  • Never mind the fact that he has the pictures but more or less that he's newly single and keeps mentioning the ex. Clearly he's not over her and you don't wanna be a rebound.

    I got rebounded for my 2nd time recently and despite knowing she was recently single after we met and taking it slow, I still got screwed over and tossed aside like garbage and that shit hurt.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I would talk to him about it and see how he reacts. Keeping pics may mean he isn't over her and that will just set you up for heartbreak. One guy I dated briefly, had a lot of pics of his ex, when I asked why he wouldn't take them down, he told me he has tried, but fb puts them back (such BS). A lot people I know have no pics of exes on their fb. The guy I'm dating doesn't have any and I don't have any of my ex.

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  • I don't Blame you for being upset. It appears Here, dear, he has Not Moved on from the Skeleton in the Closet and she is Rattling your Cage.
    Sit him down and have a Serious Talk. You are in the Stages of Dating, and not Mating, or he would be Not bring up this Past which is no Blast.
    Unless he Truly can put this Girl Ghost behind you both, this delicate Matter will be Always be Floating in Mid air.
    Good luck. xx

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  • The majority of people it would bother as the poll suggests, but he probably site in the minority. Don't sweat it, be brave and non confrontational and just say isn't it funny how some people leave pics of their exes up and some purge them like they're the devil, say... It makes me a little uncomfortable seeing pics of you and your ex but it's not like your kissing or anything so I'll live.

    This is the kind of thing that you will bring up in an argument down the line, he is not you and he has a past if they are normal pics just live with it, but be clear that it makes you uncomfortable.

    It's up to him what he does with them then.

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  • Honestly, I find this type of thinking very irrational and slightly petty. The past relationship is over, but the memories still remain; just because the relationship ended does not mean that they should have to give up what was most likely a large portion of their life.
    I still have every picture of me and my ex husband up, including our wedding pictures... sure it ended, but to delete them would be to delete about a decade of my life... that's that's a big chunk. Just because I have them does not mean I hold any residual feelings for the guy, I actually can't stand him, but it was still my life.
    And just as I won't delete mine, I would never expect my current boyfriend to get rid of his.

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    • 2mo

      But if I came across you, I would honestly think you're not over your ex and come with lots of baggage. I delete everything but it doesn't mean I forget the good memories they're in my head. I don't need all those pictures. It's only going to complicate my new relationship. And that's what's important. My old relationship is over couldn't care less about it there's no need to cling on to the memories of it.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      What you have been doing, my dear, is telling me that because I do not behave in the same manner as you... I am somehow deluding myself as to why I keep my photos.
      I was merely trying to give you the perspective of a person who does not purge the past, so you could see how someone who holds onto photos thinks.

    • 2mo

      Don't call me my dear you're being patronising. TBH you are deluding yourself. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine.

  • It means that he hasn't moved on from his ex. He;s still hung up on her. You have the right idea of moving on. That means everything even clothes and jewelry has to go. You better talk to him about that or else it could get rocky if he ends up seeing her again and he isn't over her.

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  • It would bother me a little but I'd probably want to fill those sites with memories of us.
    Telling him tovdeete or erase a pert of his past may cause some resentment towards you and resentments can come out at any time like a ticking time bomb.

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  • It would only bother me if he still talked to her or had those photos up in his profile picture or something. I used to think like you and think everything should be deleted, but at the same time, those are someone elses memories and sometimes people want to keep those things. I don't think it's unreasonable to let them keep the picture. I actually think a lot of people, especially guys, forget those pictures are even on their social media.

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  • I personally don't bother to delete pictures of my exes off social media or block/unfriend them unless something disastrous happened between us. If it bothers you that much, try bringing it up with him and sharing how you feel. But I don't think there's anything wrong with him having the pictures on his account, and again, personally, I don't keep mine up because I miss my exes. I just think that they're a valid part of my past and I don't need to go out of my way to try and erase them from it.

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  • I didn't delete any photos of my ex (unless I look like shit in the picture) because if I did I would have a huge gap in my album (4 years) as I don't take a lot of photos. So for me it depends, it's one thing to have a few photos here and there with your ex as it's quite another to have a whole album dedicated to them called 'the love of my life' .

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  • I would keep pics of my boyfriend online if we broke up.
    Like it or not, they're a big part of their life most likely. Instagram to me, is like a scrap book of moments I like to share online. I am not changing that because it would bother someone.

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    • 2mo

      So you would jeopardise a new relationship for a old one? You haven't broken up with him so you wouldn't really know what you're reaction would be.

    • 2mo

      literally no one I know deletes pics of insta and all have pretty successful relationships.

  • I would tell him to remove them if he doesn't then you will know how he feels about you. I agree with you. People and their bs with I need to keep those memories. NO YOU DONT. If you're willing to jeopardise a new relationship for some crappy photos of your ex. Then you should stay single with your photos.

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  • If the relationship is serious, you should definitely talk to him and ask why didn't he delete the pictures. The reason he may give would open another window for you as to whys and whats. good luck :)

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