I got beaten up in front of my girlfriend, I am like lot depressed. Girls, would you leave your boyfriend if this happens to you both?

Okay , we were taking a walk on the beach and this guy from the college who teases me always happens to be there with his friends. I keep ignoring him all time , but this time he passed really bad comments about my mom and I told him to be in his limits. He still won't stop, so we had a heated argument which hurt his ego and he started the fight. My girlfriend was bit scared but she still tried to interfere , but he was too big for her to stop. I tried my best but I lost so bad that I was unable to even move while lying on the ground. when he left , she started crying and comforted me and after a while , I could move. She helped me get up and dusted me off and took me home to her mom. I feel too embarrassed and like ending my life. The way she is treating me since , she has become everything I have. I have heard that GFs be nice for a while and eventually leave us and I can't see that happen. Girls , would u leave your boyfriend if you both were in my place? And can I get some advice about how to handle this?

  • Would you leave your boyfriend he lost such fight?
    30% (3)18% (3)22% (6)Vote
  • Would you find him less appealing than before?
    70% (7)82% (14)78% (21)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is definitely a potential bonding experience and certainly a test to your relationship to see just how strong your bond is. Do not be ashamed. Not everyone is a natural fighter so if you have not been trained, the situation like yours is typically what's going to happen. Nothing to be ashamed about. Even the greatest fighters took a loss at some point and time. There is so much more life for you to enjoy and experience! Don't feel like ending it over some guy who probably has a little d*ck which is why he feels the need to try and pick on you. Guys like him end up being 80 with no wife and no grandchildren who love them enough to wipe their ass and help them when their body has given up.

    Really and truly, you shouldn't be getting into physical fights at your age anyway unless you absolutely have no choice and have to defend yourself. Because at this point, you're toying with your future and risking scarring your record over something you won't even care about 10 years from now. With that said, if physical fighting is not your expertise, then master fighting in other ways... legally, for example. File harassment against him and press charges for the assault. It sounds like you had witnesses, yes? Teach him that he can't just get away with being an antagonistic jerk.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you so ma'am , that was really kind of you... what botheres me is whether she will leave me... If that happens, I won't be able to take it.

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    • 2mo

      @xXiTacoXx I get that but a harsh tone and brutal honesty is not always what someone needs when they're in a delicate state of mind. There's a way to give the straight truth without cutting someone down to size and making them feel small. And yeah, @Asker please do not take advice from the guy who is basically encouraging you to blemish your record and risk going to jail over some nasty, childish, bullying jerk. He's not worth it. That's no solution.

    • 2mo

      I assure you I won't , yours is most helpful till now... gratitudes

What Girls Said 15

  • I would find him less appealing. Not because he lost the fight but because he got in one in the first place.

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    • 2mo

      I am sorry , I had no choice. He came on first... but I will take your opinion in consideration too

  • nope, i wouldn't leave guy after that, everyone gets kicked down sometimes in life
    i suggest you openly talk to your girlfriend about your fears and be emotionally open and you will see then how you stand w her... if she really loves you she would reassure you that you guys are good
    and if girl leaves you over that you don't need her

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  • No, I would not leave my boyfriend because he lost a fight. Fighting is for wild animals- not something I'd be remotely attracted someone that I'm in a relationship with to be 'good' at.

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  • Girls, would you leave your boyfriend if this happens to you both?
    Yes

    Would you find him less appealing than before?
    Yes

    I'm not interested in a dude that can't defend himself. Gender role wise to me if guys can put up stipulations on what is feminine (ie being submissive, cooking for him, cleaning after him, being quiet, being his adoring doting cheerleader) and what behaviors are attractive (ie virginity/inexperience) then I say stfu to any male whiners. I imagine most of the guys that have issue with a gal dumping a guy in this scenario are the same type of guys that would slut-shame, call gals leftovers, or not want to commit to a gal who is promiscuous.

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    • 2mo

      I am not used to be this rude... but tell that to your son about guys who can't defend themselves when HE loses to someone

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    • 2mo

      @dontknow12
      I already showed I understood why you brought it up before you 'explained' it.

      There is no correlation between the two. You brought up masculinity because you felt fighting was a masculine trait. It has nothing to do with my post and all to do with your feelings. Your feelings aren't relevant to my post.

      You didn't prove a point the definition of defend shows the UFC fighter didn't defend himself in the fights he lost. What you did is ramble on about how I should change my view to what you want. That's not proving a point.

      "Considering that every UFC fighter lost at some point in their career, I guess you wouldn't date them right? "
      Again you show how you ignore my words because I already answered this in my answer to the Asker. I would dump a guy for losing a fight.

      FYI not every UFC fighter has lost a fight. www.sherdog.com/.../Hit-List-Undefeated-Fighters-in-the-UFC-109829

      Many UFC/MMA fighters have retired undefeated.

    • 2mo

      @dontknow12
      "I don't really care if you don't want to talk about it"
      LMFAO it just amused me that you still couldn't get why I didn't want to answer your questions of assumptions you made on topics you brought up.

      I'm done here as clearly you're a self-centered dude that responds with irrelevant whiny posts, ignores what others say, puts words in other mouths, and don't care about what the people you talk to want just yourself.

      You failed. You didn't 'enlighten' any gal on how the poor menz have it oh so hard. You didn't prove any points as definitions go against you. You didn't do anything but throw a temper tantrum because you felt butthurt I would dump a dude so you needed to rant and unload your personal issues.

      Laters.

  • I'll never leave my boyfriend just because he was beaten up infront of me. But if he thinks winning the fight can show his masculinity, then it might be kinda deal breaker. But i know why guys think like that, so i'd tell him i am happy that he's okay :) tell your girlfriend how you feel about what happened the other day.
    -sorry! I am not a English Speaker so...

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  • No I'd find him as manly as he was before.

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    • 2mo

      But your girlfriend could have done something instead of standing there watching you get beat up.

    • 2mo

      CheyenneBae, u would do that knowing u can't stop it?

    • 2mo

      Asker
      Yeah I'd somehow try to help instead of standing there just watching someone getting beat up.

  • i'd stay with him without feeling pity or pissed at him. because

    1) he usually wouldn't ask me for help and this is an opportunity

    2) he'd want hugs :)

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    • 2mo

      This one is the sweetest

  • This is literally the most idiotic question I have ever seen. No sensible woman would ever be so petty to leave her man over a fight he lost, and where is the 3rd option on the polls that say "I wouldn't leave him over a lost fight with an asshole"?

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    • 2mo

      I am sorry if this question offended you. I don't know what girls think , but I have heard that they end relations due to this... I just didn't want that to happen and so I expressed my worry in this way

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    • 2mo

      Asker just to let you know udolipixie is just a hateful troll who hates all men. She used to be here before and left. She was bad then as well

    • 2mo

      Not aimed at the opinion owner.

  • your poll options make no sense but no I wouldn't leave him

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  • It happens sometimes. Don't end your life because of some asshole just move on and be strong! If she really likes you she'll understand

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  • I'd stay

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  • Of course not. I would do everything I could to defend him (both me and my boyfriend were bullied in school, but whereas he is anti violence and wouldn't fight the bullies, I was well known for getting into fights and doing a lot more damage to the people picking on me than they did to me :$ , physically anyhow. So I have more fighting experience). If I couldn't, I would be incredibly upset and want to do everything to help him feel better. Of course I wouldn't find him any less attractive. I would want to care for him

    My advice is to let her try to look after you and trust her; an experience like this is horrible, but it means you have a chance to bond closely as the other Anon said, as it was shared and you are getting each other through

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  • Never!! get out of that mindset! Also, your poll is asking two negative questions, I would not find him less appealing, or ever leave him for that reason. It sounds like she cared for you and was worried about your wellbeing. Sounds like a genuine girl! Don't be worried, as a woman, that wouldn't even cross my mind!

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  • Would I break up with him? No. Would he be less appealing? A little. No female wants to watch her guy get his ass handed to him. It gets embarassing cause now she's the girl dating the guy who got the shit beat out of him. It's not a good look for either of you. If I were you I'd find that guy and beat his ass brutally to redeem myself. I'm not gonna lie, I fight dirty. I throw stuff, I'll use anything as a weapon, I'll sneak attack people. I'm not that big or that strong so I've gotta get creative.

    Then again, you shouldn't get into fights you know you can't win.

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    • 2mo

      If you find him less appealing wouldn't it just make sense to dump him?

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    • 2mo

      I know you can't speak for all girls but, do you think most girls would find their boyfriend less appealing if he got beat up? I can't help but think I'm being lied to a bit since women know men are very sensitive to this stuff.

    • 2mo

      @dontknow12 yes but I'd get over it

  • Well I won't lie to you when my ex got beaten up I stopped seeing him as attractive in a sexual way and more like a little brother whos too weak to fend off the bullies. My boyfriend's attacker turned me on so much and I eventually cheated on my ex boyfriend with him.

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    • 2mo

      That's ashame I'm sure your ex tried his best.

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    • 1mo

      @bobbyxx I just prefer stong alpha males.

    • 1mo

      That's just your training. You can rise above it.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDSRz3J2VCU

What Guys Said 12

  • Getting your ass kicked always sucks, but someone has to lose. Judging by the way she acted I'm sure she's fine. However if you don't know how fight its best to just let shit go and move on with your day instead of starting shit with someone.

    It will be fine man, don't worry about it, no need to off yourself or anything.

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  • I think intellectually, girls know that it's not reasonable to expect you to be unbeatable in a fight, no girl honestly expects her boyfriend to be the greatest fighter of all time, so they'll tell you that seeing you lose a fight doesn't effect them, but I think it does effect them in a very primal way that they might not even fully understand. They might not break up with you right then and there, but boy, give her just one more reason and she's out the door. Once you lose a fight, I think the female brain goes, "Okay, time to start shopping around again." But I have a constructive suggestion! Tell your girlfriend that you don't feel like you handled yourself well, tell her you're ashamed and embarrassed, and then tell her you're gonna join a gym and start taking martial arts classes. I recommend boxing or maybe BJJ if you're not the most physical guy. Both would be ideal. And whatever else you can get. It may take a few months, but you could turn her perception of you around, if you face this problem head-on and don't sweep it under the rug. There's nothing wrong with falling down as long as you get back up.

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  • Damn son.. thats too bad, maybe there will be chicks who will say they don't care about it but its not how it works in real. It will effect her subsincious from time to time and it might end up with her not liking u anymore because women want strong man who can protect them from dangers so men always must he strong especially if u have someone to protect, thats how it works in the nature.

    If I were you I'd get my revenge soon enough, just attack him wherever u see that cunt.. just 1 strong punch to the jaw then BAM! He's on the ground ;D Its not over until u say its over! Restore your pride. And thats why I was always saying men must do some pyhsically activities and be strong, hit to gym etc.

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    • 2mo

      Wow, so you want him to get his ass beat twice? Normal girls wouldn't leave their man for losing a fight, but if he starts a fight then she's more than likely to leave him because women don't like people who start shit.

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    • 2mo

      @xXiTacoXx Lol girl u don't know shit! Have u ever had a boyfriend who was beaten by someone infront of you? I don't think u even had bfs ever in ur life tho, cause it seems u are searching for a sissy boy and not real man who is strong and able to protect his woman. I feel sorry for your future kids girl, they will be cowards who won't be able to make a move in the community and be losers if u raise them lol.

      If he feels depressed he will have health problems in the future or he won't forget about what happend and he will be a sad person whenever it comes to his mind. You can't understand men in this point, losing a fight might come normal to you but it isn't normal, especially for a guy who has high testestorone hormones / aggressive behaviour / and feels himself strong. And its about nature, thats why most of woman prefer guys with athletic body type or tall because they want to feel they are protected. All know u pinks are trying to cheer up him just speak the truth lol.

    • 2mo

      I have had boyfriends, and I have witnessed one of them lose a fight, and it never changed my view about him. I was more focused on hoping he was okay instead of thinking "Oh I should leave him since he lost a fight which isn't macho". I'll raise my kids to not be muscle headed dolts like you that's for sure. They think with their brains instead of their biceps. Fighting doesn't make a man. Oh, and we are telling him the truth it's only tasteless gorilla's like you giving him shit advice.

  • Honestly, women believe that their boyfriend or father or any of their closest male figures in their lives are the toughest men on earth. They just don't think logically. Muhammad Ali lost fights, all the greatest fighters in the world lose at some point, all athletes lose, I grew up playing tennis and suffered one of the worst defeats of my life yesterday to an amateur. If they better player/team wins every time then there is no reason to even compete. Besides you have to learn how lose before you can learn how to win.

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  • Bud I know it sucks but do something about it. Don't wallow in your own shit because you're sad and scared she might think differently of you. DO something about it. Go to the gym, get bigger and stronger, take boxing classes or anything man just do something! The ball is in your court. What do you think she'll like more? A guy taking charge and getting stronger to prevent this from happening again, or a guy who is depressed and is questioning life. Come on man stay strong and get at it. If she is everything you have then give everything YOU have to protect not only her but yourself.

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  • Hey first of all go to the police and report that asshole... When he will be charged and he will be in jail he will understand that there are consequences of his actions...
    Secondly your girlfriend loves you... she won't leave you for it...

    So stop being so hard on yourself and stop saying stupid things like ending your life and all...

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  • Ouch that's brutal. Take some karate classes or something, a little bit of training goes a long way with your average thug, regardless of size.

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  • In a fight, it does not matter who is stronger, but who is crazier. Take baseball bat or something like that, find that guy and crack open his skull. And tell him if he ever gets close to you or to your girlfriend again you will kill him.

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  • Lmfaoooooooooo

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  • where I live violence like that is a serious felony!

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  • You sound like you're getting off on being beaten up.

    Assuming you're not though... most girls would appreicate that you stood up to him, even though you lost. Nothing happened to *her*. You protected her, at your own expense.

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  • That's rough man. You should give us an update on her behavior because I wonder about this too.

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