What would you do if your boyfriend lied about cheating to break up because he got cancer?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. One day he told me that he cheated on me a women he met on a club and slept with her. I was angry and I broke up with him and confused because this is so unlike him, he never clubs or drinks but I was mad. I hated him and was so mad and hurt by what he did. 5 months after the break up I found out something.

I found out my my best friend that my boyfriend never cheated and that he lied because he got Lung cancer. Apparently he and my best friend talked behind my back and he came up with an elaborate plan to lie to me, so I can hate him and move on. He said he didn't want me to stay with him as he was slowly dying aways into nothing but skin and bones and that he loved me too much to make me go through pain and suffering and to grieve his loss.

I investigated and went to the hospital he was staying at and he was there, skinnier and less muscular, still has his hair but its thin and pale skin.

I was so hurt and confused by this, I was angry and mad at him for lying but at the same time seeing him like that and knowing that (even though I don't agree with is choice) it was with good intentions make me feel happy in some way.

He confessed and he just kept telling me to go away and that he doesn't want me and that he's over me. I in my heart don't believe that. I think he might be lying again. I thought I was over him but I feel in love all over again. I rather be by him then let him die, but at the same time I don't want to force myself on him. Mentally he's different though, he has a temper, a short fuse, and he tells me over and over he wants nothing to do with me and that this time he really means it.

What would you do? How would you feel?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look it's shitty' he lied to you about that. It sucks being led to believe someone you cared about cheated on you.

    Then again... Sounds like the cancer, chemo or whatever' is ravishing his body. If you believe he's dying then you should respect his last wishes.
    I hate to sound mean here but his position dwarfs what ever hurt feelings you might have.

    You two weren't married or had kids. Easily the hardest part about having an aggressive or terminal cancer is telling people close to you. I've been dealing with cancer since i was 20 and in my 30's it just gets worse and worse. I thank god every day i never got married and i never had kids. Telling my mom was the worst thing ever. Imagine telling the mother of your kids and the kids that Dad's really sick and might not make it?

    He saved you alot' of heartache. Take this chance he gave you, he doesn't want you to deal with this weight. I could go on with fucked scenarios similar to yours if been told where the kids where 16 and 17... etc.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, give him space. I lost my late mother to cancer, and all the domestic issues we went through with my now widowed father just made it really bad. Don't fight with him because of YOUR feelings. Because if he doesn't have a miracle from God, then that's it. He now has to think about whats going to happen after death, and how will this effect everyone in his life. This is his time to reflect. All I can say is be prepared. If he's like that with his mentality, it means he is dying. Thats a sign of imminent death and he may not have a month. I'm being honest with you now. Prepare. Give him what he wants, and what he needs. Don't focus on yourself selfishly, because it will make moving on much worse. Set up counseling for yourself, because he doesn't have much time right now. Other signs is not seeing any vain's, urinary and bowel movement issues, lost of appetite, etc.

    I know it hard, but I'm telling you this now, because it will give you time to let go. But once your able to understand this, then go see him and ask him what can you do to make things easier for him, but you want to at least spend some time with him for however long you can. The rest is on him now on where he will go after this life, because time is not on our side and life is short. Again, I am saying this as a person who also lost a love one recently, twice. I pray that you and the family can find peace with this and be able to move forward in this troubling time. Best Regards.

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What Guys Said 5

  • He is trying to protect you, and that shows deep feelings for you. I would continue to see him and be a true friend (he needs that now), but refrain from letting it get any deeper.

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  • Aw... reading that made me kind of emotional, he seems like a good guy either way. Sorry to hear this to be honest... life is so shitty sometimes.

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  • Stay with him don't leave him if he wants u to go away wth his life, tell him u r doing it as a frnd.
    The gesture he made is incredible and I don't think I have this kind of courage. He is a nice person as u have seen urself... let him die in peace

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  • I'd probably visit the grave ever once a month..

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  • Awful and sad but understand why he did it so you wouldn't see him like that but he went about it the wrong way since you would remember him as a cheater and not dying of cancer

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What Girls Said 4

  • I would be very upset and sorry for him but I'm not going to get in a relationship with him. He's telling me that he wants nothing more to do with me - if he doesn't mean it, then he's just lying to me again. If he does mean it, then what's the point of trying? This was something huge that he lied to me about. He should have either told me he had cancer and stayed with me or told me he had cancer and broken up with me, as long as he was honest. I'm not going to try to be with someone who lied to me about something that big, even if I can try to understand the reasons and am upset that he's suffering.

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  • I'm so, so sorry. I think he's just upset that you're gonna be heartbroken and he doesn't want you to see him suffer. I've heard stories like this before. There's some people who even hide their cancer from their kids so they don't know. I think he loves you, he just loves you too much to see you suffer watching him in his illness. I'm sorry 😥

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  • That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard. Is it terminal cancer?

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  • I'd be mad at that situation but I think I'd be very sad that someone you love doesn't want your help or concern. I wouldn't care though. I'd have to be with him regardless because obviously you still care and love him. Your best friend on the other hand is wrong for even keeping that from you!

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