I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now. We're not exclusive, but we're not seeing other people. For the last 2 months, he's hit a hard patch with his depression and he's changed his medication, which has made his behavior somewhat difficult; he's grumpy, withdrawn and never shows affection but he never pushes me away when I kiss him, cuddle etc. I've been slowly getting used to handling the whole depression thing; I feel more relaxed around him and don't feel like I'm treading on eggshells. I tell him that I'm there for him, and he appreciates it. Thing is, I sometimes get resentful and feel that my needs are being ignored. He listens to me when I have problems, and is supportive but I feel like I've been investing all my energy into him and getting nothing in return affection-wise, which I guess is not his fault because of his condition.. but still! I feel like it's all about him most of the time.
We've never spoken about exclusivity, because 1. I feel he wants to trust me 100% and that I can handle and accept him 2. I need to know I'm ready for this too, plus I don't want to get hurt.
Thing is, this all feels so heavy. I really like him, and I knew it wasn't going to be a typical dating experience. I went out with some friends the other day, and I met this guy who was exactly my type. We clicked instantly, and he gave me his number. Without thinking, I went on a date with him and the experience was refreshing. We also kissed - several times. Now I really regret it. I saw the guy I'm dating yesterday and I felt wracked with guilt. He's not my boyfriend, and after a lot of thought I know he's the one I want to be with and its made me realise how much I do care about him.
As we're not official, is it worth me keeping this under wraps? I'm not seeing the other guy again.
Most Helpful Guy
Your first 2 sentences answer your question, you did not cheat. I'm my book, that's a little messed up, but it can't technically be called cheating if you're not exclusive. Now that you know you want to be with him, don't stray. If it was me, I'd like to know what you did, given the nature of your relationship, but you don't have to.0
Most Helpful Girl
If you both was never official then it isn't cheating. You can date a person for months or years, but if you don't announce that your together for a serious relationship it isn't. But it does say that your confused and fickle about who you really like. Its normal and its okay to feel lost at times, but you do need to mindful of how your actions will effect that person and other people. But now you have to chose who you want to be with, and let this be very clear. If you need time to think on this, do it now. Because both of them may not wait for you. And sooner or later, you will have to tell both of them the truth of what is happening. But don't hold back your feelings and confusion either no matter how upset they get. Just understand their pain. But if they react unreasonably, then you have to serious think if they are worth dating exclusively long term, and get out.0