I'm ready to commit to a serious relationship with a gentleman. Now what?

I'm done wasting my time on guys who don't give af about me or my feelings, and only care about getting what they want and seeing me as a sexual object. The main reason I went for these guys is because they were fun, very good looking and very confident.

I'm done wasting my time on these men. I'm ready to find and commit to someone who will return my feelings and is faithful, honest, etc. But I have no idea where to start. Not only that, I'm worried - will I have to sacrifice the things I find attractive in a man to find a decent one?

Moderators, where are you? I asked a simple question and these men are attacking me out of their own prejudices!
1. I don't what your definition of a hoe is but I don't fit that. I've only dated five men and I've only been with them sexually.

2. I haven't turned down any nice guys because they don't approach me. I don't want to have to wait around for someone to talk to men.

3. I make my own money and go to school, I don't need anyone to do anything for me.

4. To every man that has disrespected me, I'm sorry you've had a shitty life when it comes to dating.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, you and 10 million other women your age all asking the exact same question.

    You have zero right to complain about guys that want a commitment having standards that you no longer fit. You had YOUR standards when you were having fun with the bad boys. They get to have THEIR standards now that they are in charge.

    Women hold the key to sex. Men hold the key to commitment.

    • No one is complaining. But I don't tolerate anyone bashing me. And every one of you seems to be missing the fact that I DATED these men. I am not whoring around. Holy crap.

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    • Just in case you missed this part
      >>> Men hold the key to commitment. <<<
      And yes, you are damaged. Good luck.

    • I'm unhappy with my life? You're the one with the screwed up life, cupcake. I'm doing great. And I don't go onto public forums asking complete strangers for advice.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the best thing you can do is focus on yourself for a bit. Find out what really makes you happy. Make that a priority. Once you are on a good kick of doing things for yourself and your happiness, you will stop letting in things that do not make you happy.

    For instance, if you meet a guy, and things start off promising, but then he starts mistreating you. Because you now prioritize your happiness, you will cut the cord with this person. No longer tolerate things that make you unhappy.

    If a guy starts to be mean to you, or abuse you or you feel unhappy with the situation, then exercise your right to choose what happens in your life and leave. It's not easy, because you will grow attached to some people. But as long as you are trying to make yourself happy, you will eventually find someone who you can work with.

    Now, I'm not suggesting leave right at the first site of unhappiness. Hopefully the person is willing to work with you in the relationship. But if they are not, then you need to get out. The important thing is to find out if they are someone who is able to be worked with, or someone who isn't.

    Try to look beyond looks and really see how you relate to the person.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 40

  • If you lower your standards to find a man of character, won't you eventually resent him for being in your life? Isn't that unfair to the guy?

    • she's almost used up, what value does she have?

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    • @Mysological why aren't I church material?

    • @Mysological If you attended a Christian church, you would know that we are all guilty of sin and all sins are equal. A person need not be free of sin to be a Christian; if that were the case, there would be no Christians. My church is filled with sinners as are all other churches. Christians are merely people who understand that there are higher goals to which we should aspire every day.

  • This is hilarious! You still want the thugs, but they've all moved on to the younger gals. Now you want some white knite beta bitch to come along and treat you like a queen. And you know full well that you can't respect the kind of guy you're asking for. You want support and security from the beta-cuck while you continue to fuck around with whatever scum you can still attract.

    Bed. Made. Lie.

    • They deserve to suffer. I wander how many nice guys did this girl use, humiliate, and reject in favor of the bad boy, the thug, rock and rock stink f'ks and other losers?

  • Sorry but I'm friends with enough girls to know that when they say "I'm so done with this kind of guy" it really means:

    "This is only the beginning. I WILL make them finally commit to me if it's the last thing I do. They WILL change for me. We're gonna get together, he'll obsess over me after our first night and then we can get married and he'll make a great father just as the stories said he would!"

    I'd give it a week.

  • Here's the deal. Women are sexual objects. Women are nothing more than sperm depositories for men. Men can give a damn less about your college degree, if you own your own car, what you do for a living, and whether or not you have your own home. The only value you have is tied to your appearance. It sounds like you have been riding the cockade doodle do carousel since you were 18 (maybe even younger.) You're between the ages of 18-24. Women have a 7 year freshness date from 18-25. They start going downhill at 25, and finally wall out and stall out between 30-35, and then its game over. How many men have you been with and I bet you still want the bed boys running through you. How many good, decent and honorable men did you reject, use for free dinners and humiliate? Women are depreciating assets. Women age like milk and men age like fine wine.

    Somehow I doubt that you're done with the bad boys. You love the way they treat you, their handsome, probably work out and make decent money. You also want to trap some beta buck provider drone to pay your bills, clothing and everything else without getting nothing in return. Of course you will ass launch them via divorce for the cash and prizes down the road. You also raised a red flag when you came crying to the moderators and ask them to get rid of all the men who offended you. Its just like a women to go crying to the SIMPS when other men hurt your feelers.

    I would suggest that you look for a man in his mid 30 to early 40's to settle down with, and try to trap him in marriage. Good luck with that! I recommend that every young man-especially the nice guys look up "Leykis 101," on youtube and learn the ways of Leykis 101 so they protect themselves from getting used by a women like you and instead use you to get what they want. You might want to thank the feminists and soulless whore c**ts who brainwashed you and created this environment.

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    • @asker you are entitled to your adhominem attack/opinion. Someone says something that does not resonate with pop-morality and adhominem attacks are used to dismiss them. Very typical for western disagreements.

      I've experienced, as a 6'2 former college athlete, and successful business man what he's talking about regarding feminine hypergamy both personally and vicariously. I see the statistics that prove feminine entitlement. No amount of shaming, or logical fallacies can change lies into truth nor silence the truth. More and more men will slowly reveal their collective fatigue with women, and their gross entitlement, hypergamy, and unwillingness to sit at the table with men and have real discussions that don't revolve around the dismissal of emotionally uncomfortable material. I'm not even a mgtow and I can see that that movement is collecting more steam everyday; you would have me believe these men are ALL losers when in reality they have very real motivations. Lol keep shaming.

  • Tell me, why would a gentleman want to invest in you after you had wasted all of your time dating and sleeping with bad boys?

    Do you think that just because you are done, that a nice guy should be waiting? Bwhahahaha, good luck with that.


    • I never said anyone should be waiting for me. I've had my experiences and I learned from them. So if someone can't see my growth and maturity then they don't need to invest in me.

    • No you're right, you didn't say that - you actually EXPECTED a good guy to come to YOU. That's even worse!

      You want a nice guy, AND you want him to do all the work? You really don't get it do you.

    • @Mysological No, she doesn't get it.

  • Good! I'm sorry you were drawn to them, but that seems to be nature! I think attraction is in the sub conscious mind and we are drawn to what is familiar... such as our childhood experiences with parents or impressionable figures, that may include emotional wounds from people around us. It may certainly include the men you chose to date and how sexual you were with them.

    But, you've decided to change your mind and that is the first step to anything. So you have to ask why you were drawn to them in the first place... what was going on inside of you to be attracted. The problem is when you go on a date with a nice sweet guy (or whatever..) but he isn' tputting off a confident strong vibe... are you gonna be attracted? do you have to push yourself to be attracted to him? That is the challenge we ALL face in selecting someone.

    I assume you were not real sexual with these guys, you just realized they were users. If you were, I wouldn't broadcast that.

    What I would do is get to knoew some different types of men, ones you weren't dating before. There are confident guys who are not users, but you have to pick your way through them to find them. I know nice guys (my age) who don't have GF's, so guys are around.

    Yes... you will have to exchange characteristics. If you want a guy that isn't just going to use you (e. g. selfish, narcissistic), then you have to put up with a guy being nice, considerative, possibly introverted, maybe not as much of a leader or as controlling.

    I don't know your psychology, but that is what you need to figure out. Going to a counselor for me helped a lot to get a view of myself I didn't see (my flaws... why I was drawn to the same type of screwed up female... and were all screwed up, just differently).

    A) date guys that are different
    B) consider investing in counseling if you can find a good one
    C) learn about your psychology, what is driving your thinking, who impacted your life.
    D) read mars and venus on a date... try to glean some wisdom from that
    E) Watch players pick up girls... so you know what to look for
    F) ther'es always an F, but I'm out of ammo at the moment.
    G) Go to church, learn about the LOVE of God, build a base of love. When you take on that energy, you cast a different presence.
    H) Build your confidence and self esteem, guys who are healthy love that.

  • Nah, don't bother. They don't want you. Stick with what you know.

    • Nah, I don't believe that.

    • That's good! We all need to have something to believe in, however misguided that thing might be.

  • No, of course not. We're out there, guys who actually pride themselves for being gentlemen. Don't forget this social media culture brings out the bad in many. Especially in your age group. I've had conversations with many good dudes who are afraid to use the gentlemanly nature they were raised with in fear of offending many gals.. It sucks. I pay, open doors, stand up when you come to the table. I even know the proper way to eat soup. Lol! Don't settle for less.

    • Message me

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    • If he believes that what most girls are good for he doesn't need to associate with any woman. That was probably his mother back in her day. Or he sounds like he's been through some things and is just bitter.

      Yeah, I know you guys are out there, but I also know men don't want to be like simply because of what feminism has become so finding one of you is like picking through a haystack. Girls who get offended by that stuff really need to get a grip.

    • You 're right on with that. And it's more prevalent among your gen. I'm older, for one thing, and because I'm older now I don't give a FK. I'm doing what I do.

  • I know it's usually futile to ask a woman to look past her overblown sense of entitlement nowadays, but I'm going to invite you to look at things from our perspective. Why should a good man, a man who did everything right, a man who made something of himself, be expected to settle for a used up slut just because you say you're ready for him to? Also, would you ever be able to respect such a man, a man who pays for something all those "bad boys" got for free? That's a huge insult to us. Face it, actions have consequences. Enjoy your cats

    • They never seem to get what you just said. Because, she's awesome and stuff, a really great catch or something like that. As I explained to her, a high value man can attract high value women. And high value women don't have a large partner count. A lot of women these days think that having had multiple partners makes them attractive as a spouse, which is utterly false. It makes them attractive as a fuck buddy, but nothing more.

  • Now what?

    Youve made mistakes (you "wasted your time" with bad boys... that's a mistake) and mistakes have consequences. Now you will wait and hope that a good looking, kind hearted man, who earns a good living will notice you, appreciate you, and not feel badly when he understands or gains knowledge that (most likely) more muscular, tougher men, with greater sexual endowments used to have sex with you. Understand: a kind, good looking, in shape guy (even one with great sexual endowment) is most likely not going to want to settle down with a lady that chose to have sex with bad boys in her past... because he doesn't have to. Life isn't a movie; He is attractive to many women and will therefore not have to compromise his standards much (and every desirable man has standards). As men are not entitled to a woman's sex, women are not entitled to a good man's commitment.

    It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad lady or a hoe because you desired the big "bad boy" archetype, but a lot of guys will hold this against you and that's the God's honest truth. No guy wants to feel like he's second place, or a consolation prize. You can say whatever you want: that he wouldn't be second place, that masculinity is fragile... the reality is that if you really found "nice" men the most viscerally attractive then you would have picked them initially, but they weren't so you tried several bad boys who were attractive to you; women are the sexual choosers not men. You are allowed to believe whatever you want mam, but the hard truth is that men care about a woman's sexual history a lot, and will judge women for it. The only men who won't care are most typically men who have... limited options, are physically unattractive and reliant on being agreeable to attract women. Whether anyone likes it or not, the more men a woman sleeps with, and the worse character of men the woman chooses to sleep with the less desirable that woman becomes to men. Maybe it's not fair but that's life.

    All you have is hope.

    • "It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad lady or a hoe because you desired the big "bad boy" archetype"

      Actually, that is one of reddest of red flags. Wife up an Alpha Widow at your own risk.

  • Who do you want to attract? This is the question I ask myself when dating: if I were a girl, would I date me? If the answer is no, then figure out how to become that person - not only will you attract quality men, but you will scare away the shallow losers. This isn't a trade off - it's an improvement - from who you were (attracting/attracted to) to who you want to (be/attract). It isn't about sacrifice either, because there are plenty of confident, handsome men out there who's standards prohibit them from considering any girl they deem shallow. Be honest, be sincere, and treat guys the way you want to be treated. Hope this makes sense. Don't give up - you deserve better than those guys you've dated so far, and the fact that you're asking these questions proves that you are a caliber above them anyways.

  • Wow, these responses are terrible! Sorry you have to deal with this kind of treatment. I'm happy that you're looking for someone who will treat you right, and wish you the best of luck!

    • They're all trolls. I lost my cool earlier but I had to reign it back in. And thank you!

    • Maybe some were but you are missing the bright side. Maybe there are more guys out there like 'NarsetReturns'.

  • I don't know what qualities you look for in a man besides fun, confident and whatever is physically attractive to you but fun and confident are certainly not qualities exclusive to selfish men. If you keep going for the same "type" that appeals to you and you're getting the same results you might try making that "sacrifice". You just might find that it doesn't turn out to be a sacrifice at all. Someone's attractiveness to us can be drastically changed by how we feel about them as a person.

    • I like a guy that goes for what he wants. He stands up for himself. He stands by what he believes in. Mentally strong. Someone who is very masculine. Someone who is punctual, considerate and kind.

      And physical attraction is important for me. I can think someone is cute but if I'm not attracted to them from the start, personally it won't develop over time.

    • He doesn't have to be the hottest person but I want some attraction to be there. I don't want to force it, if that makes sense.

    • I know a guy just like that but he says he has opted out of dating completely. I've seen women throw themselves at him, ask him for his number and he doesn't bother. I notice him checking them out or flirting but he says that there is no point because there is too much promiscuity. He seems to be one of those good looking nice guys, goes to the gym, is polite, doesn't take any crap etc.

      Come to think about it, I know a bunch of other nice guys that seem to prefer being single.

  • It's good that you are at the point where you want more then just sex from a guy most important thing now is to find some who will take you for who you are, some one who you can laugh with spend time with doing other things then just in bed some one you feel comfortable around and some one who can understand your feelings. It's not hard finding that genuine guy. Good luck

  • In a comment chain, you said "The men I find attractive aren't the best type of men."

    The bad part here, is that according to some of your own words even if you found a nice guy you'd be settling. Which means you, he, or both would ultimately be unhappy. Nice guys, much like nice girls, are everywhere. The world is flooded with them. Some women (and men) just genuinely at their core don't want a nice partner, but someone that is more "interesting". If you're not attracted to the "nice" type though, they fly under the radar. And if you have to force yourself to see them or have to seek them out through other means, it really is doomed from the jump. No one can be happy settling, no guy (or girl) wants to be the one someone else "settles" for.

    And as for the sexual comments - if a guy isn't nice, if he doesn't treat you well - why the fuck would you have sex with them? If you date a guy and he gets impatient or upset about waiting a while, he's not a "nice guy". And if you yourself can't wait a while, again that's more along the lines of your problem. Your recipe seems to be all wrong. You are attracted to guys who are "not the best" - you say you're treated badly and they don't give a fuck, but you've still been with them sexually. And if they can get sex, why bother with anything else? That's how they think, anyway. If you want to find someone that cares about you, someone "nice", you need to change your entire recipe. The type of guys you're into, the fact that you have been sexual with guys you admit are not good guys, all of it. Nice guys (and girls) are not attracted to members of the opposite sex that they sense are settling, or who come off as being easy. If you don't seem fully interested in them and getting you in bed isn't a challenge, that spells doom for the future in their mind and they'll be put off. Not criticizing your number, just saying your whole method appears to be flawed. Well, if you want a nice, caring monogamous type of guy. I realize you said only 5 guys and that you dated them all. But again, if they were not "good guys" and you still slept with them, it implies that getting with you in that sense is not hard at all, you're out for "fun" more than anything serious, or that you have issues with self control (meaning you can't wait, or they can't and you give in too easily. Both of which are MASSIVE turn offs to the "nice" types).

    • They were nice in the beginning, didn't become assholes until later. But thank you for the input that's really something to think about.

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    • I have a friend like your mom. He has a daughter. She married a guy that her parents plainly did not like but they held their tongues because it was her choice. Well the husband ended up cheating on her and they divorce. Only then did they voice their displeasure with him, to which the daughter replied, "why didn't you say anything earlier?"

    • @DavisYoung "Only then did they voice their displeasure with him, to which the daughter replied, "why didn't you say anything earlier?""

      Probably because they knew she wouldn't listen to them.

  • oh so you expect to snap your fingers and get what you want? Time to realize your bad decisions will haunt you for longer than you've ever considered. Good luck.

    • No one said that. Yeah I have made some poor choices in the men I was dating but that does not mean it's going to rule me out of dating for a long time.

      Time to realize that people make mistakes especially when they're young and don't know what they want. I've grown and matured and that's what matters. I could see if I didn't learn from my mistakes but really? No need to be so close minded. I realize building a good and healthy relationship takes work. I never said it was easy, I asked where do I start.

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    • @AFBBucks Yo dude, where are you stationed. I'm an Air Force brat born on AAFB.

    • I'm not in the military.

  • Tke it easy and don't try to hard. When the time is right, your soulmate will find you. But please, don't get back to your old ways. Focus on something that will put you on your feet till the right man comes.

  • Be the woman that attracts those kind of men. It's pretty simple.

    That being said - having had a "meeting guys who saw me as a sexual object - but it was fun"-past will definitely limit your chances.

    • I don't think it will. It doesn't limit choices for men so I won't let that limit anything for me. I'm a woman that likes to have fun but made poor choices in the men I decided to associate with. If they decide to judge me on that and ignore. ym growth and maturity as an individual, as well as the person I am, then they have limited themselves.

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    • @AFBBucks Sluts don't change. They go to "Slut Walks" and demand to be accepted.

      I doubt she listened to her mother or grandmother that told her to date the nice boy from school who carried her books for her, and helped her with her homework.

      Cuz he was a boring, creepy, "loser".

      A seismic change has occurred in the sexual marketplace, thanks to feminism and sex-positivism, and apps like tinder. Men now look at women as cum dumpsters.

      This attitude is not going to change. If as a young woman you don't want to end up emotionally damaged, you need to think long term, and lock down a guy in his early 20s.

      Or don't listen to good advice, keep on living the Sex and City lifestyle.

    • Here is some Chinese wisdom. A key that can open many locks is a master key. A lock that can be opened by any key is worthless. Men are wising up sweetheart.

  • I'm the kind of person that rarely finds someone they like, but when i do, i like them a lot and for a long time.
    - I had a crush on a girl for 6 years before i plucked up the courage to ask her out. She said we should just be friends (like we had been for the prior 7 years) and we are still great friends now, which is cool i guess.
    - After about 2 years of not liking anyone, i started to like this girl i walked home with. A month in or two, i'd ask her out and be told the same. Lets just be friends.
    - I was friends with this other girl during that time but we started to talk a lot more after that. I ended up liking her a lot and eventually asked her out and she kindly laughed in my face like "hahaha can't even take you seriously right now" and i used my jokerish sense of humour to cover up the pain of that one and sort've laughed along like "haha yeah..." But later asked her again and she said we should just be friends.
    (Keeping in mind, i used to hang out with these girls a lot, it wasn't asked out of the blue, i just felt like i needed to know that i liked their character, otherwise what's the point really?)
    So i go two more years without seeing anyone that peaks my interest. One day at work, there's this girl who'd been there for only like two weeks, and i found her attractive but i didn't know her, so i didn't like her, but i made a bit of banter in the breakroom to be polite. Later that day she adds me on facebook. I ask if she wants to hang out. So we do, later that week. I'm now on a date (closer than i had been with people i really liked in the past) with a person i cared nothing for at all. I walked into that date like i didn't care, because i didn't. Eventually after a month or so of dates and hanging out and chilling at home with her, i had really strong feelings for her. (I mean she was my first kiss, sober at least, i usually don't have the confidence. I kissed her on the first date when i didn't care about her, because i didn't care how she'd react)
    Anyway, after i'd basically fallen for her character, i ask her to be with me officially. She said she just wanted to be friends, which confused me after the makeout sessions and intimate nights.
    Two weeks later she announces her relationship status on facebook. She's been with him for a week. He's a bad boy, tattoos up his arm, drives an expensive car, drifts, speeds, drives drunk, smokes weed, has lots of mates.

    I dont know how to help you but i know i'm sick of it too. Thats from my view

    • Long story short, i'm a nice guy, but nobody wants a nice guy. Not really. Nice is too safe, just not fun enough for most girls. Just do what you do, girl. I hope it all works out for you (:

    • So I have read your story and it was fun to read, I mean for me, not the situation itself anyway. I have noticed a pattern in your behaviour when you date, you are basically entering a friend zone because you are befriending them and that would sums it up in your case. When they become friends with you, it's basically automatic friend zone.

      The thing is what most guys do is that if they like the girl they see appearance wisely they automatically try to level it up and automatically go on a date with them and most girls would allow for such behaviour and give you a chance to see how it would go.

      Also if you don't give a damn in a positive way girls would think "ohh, I might give him a chance as he might have more girls in his dating queue." That is if she likes you enough. You can observe this behaviour from the encounter you had with your last girl aka a girl who went for a bad boy.

    • I would say you should step up a game and do what others do, see a girl you like? Ask for a way to communicate either via social networking website, Kik, number whatever and give it up to a week and try to ask her out. I'm not in any way an expert but I have done something similar with my now ex and it worked.

      Good Luck Out there dude.
      P. S I'm a nice guy myself ;)

  • Try just not dating assholes? It's not rocket science really... 😂😂

    • most girls are suckers for a wild boy and everyday we get a question like this, like cmon do you have a brain? You wanted the attention of a wild guys so you have it and now you are complaining? O_o...

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    • @Truthatanycost Ever notice the language women often use online when talking about cheating or even when they are single and meet a guy? They say stuff like ''we ended up doing...'' ''things just happened'' ''he slept with me'' or ''one thing led to another''

      It's either lack of responsibility or moment of heat and they go all the way. Everyone from time to time like some fun especially when you are single.

      One girl that asked me out some time ago said she was single but it turned out she had a boyfriend in another town. I figured this out and rejected her.

      That's very interesting. How did you found it out?

      P. S What a diss from an asker, especially the forth point, lmfao 😂 😂

    • @SpinningDude69 The 4th point of the OP illustrates an inability to understand that a man can come to a conclusion based purely on logic and does not need to have had a bad experience. She does not get that because she is coming from a place of emotion.

      How did I find out the girl already had a bf?

      Luckily she had a big mouth and talked to others about him. The best thing to do is to be patient, observe and listen though. What you need to know often shows itself.

      There was another girl I was really interested in so I sat back and watched. Then one day i found out that she used to get drunk every weekend and have unprotected sex with a man that used to sleep around a lot. I was able to confirm this was not just a rumor too.

      I crossed her right of my list, now she is a single Mom.

      Sometimes it's as simple as noticing she is wearing a wedding ring while hitting on you though.

  • Why would a good man be willing to settle with a woman who was no different from someone in Brothels.. There are many worthy male n female in the world.. No one is perfect but not everyone is a whore lmao

  • I think you are being unrealistic in your expectations. Why? It sounds like you are attracted to players, guys who have young, pretty women readily available. Players don't commit.

  • You now start to use your brains

  • No.. you don't have to sacrifice anything specifically. Thier out there believe me. Men who like mgtow will have you believe differently. Aside of all the rebellion , there are some good ones still out there tho. My advise to you tho is if you find such a guy you better hook up quickly and don't mess up with him or your next time might be awhile. Now days these type of relationship guys are'nt playing any games and thier quite serious about thier commitments and about yours also.

    • What do you mean they aren't playing any games?

    • @SpinningDude69 Well... most of these types of guys are business men or guys with huge careeers or status types that are in the market for younger females , although thier quite serious about thier commitments towards a new female companion. And they just are not the game playing type.

    • not the game playing type. You mean they wait for women to approach them or what?

  • Now what? Be a gentlewoman i suppose.

  • Welcome in 2016.

  • have looking forever.

  • Doesn't that depend a lot upon what you find attractive?

    • The men I find attractive aren't the best type of men.

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    • Well, those are all good places. If you're religious you could try church. Hang out in museums, go to conferences (except sales conferences) go to symposia for the sciences. The key things are:
      1) Get out - the more men you meet, the better your chances.
      2) Stay away from areas where players congregate - bars, clubs, etc.
      3) Date as much as possible, even if he's not attractive, it's still a learning experience.
      4) Consider men that you would have otherwise dismissed. Too young, too old, too fat, too thin, "wrong" race, etc. Going on a date may expose you to men you WILL find attractive.
      5) Remember - it's a *numbers* game. Get your numbers up.

    • Intraluminal--It sounds like her numbers are already "up" and that's why no decent man wants her.

  • I don't know why so many guys were being harsh to you. You seem like a woman who knows what she wants and there's nothing wrong with that, I would happily date you, even if you had had sex with 100 men more attractive than me.

    • What I want to know is why she has responded to all of those trolls or ones giving her crap but not said anything in response to your nice message.

  • If you want to date a gentleman then do it and it depends on what things you find attractive in a guy

    • give me some examples if you don't mind

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    • but all around when I'm in love with my girlfriend I want what's best for her some of the times the girls I get with think I'm trying to change them or control them which I'm not

    • being a life teacher is not easy let me tell ya

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  • I gotta say, I'm really disappointed in the responses on here. A person wants to change their ways and have a decent relationship and people are basically telling her that because she had fun while she was young that it will never happen? Oh, get over yourselves. Men do this shit all the time and can find love and women to forgive them so why would it be any different here?

    All I can say it don't give in so easily to guys and actually figure out what you want first, even if that means making a list. Honestly, stay out of dating and sex for a while.

    • I haven't been with anyone for months actually.

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    • @StickStickity13 It's just another double standard men have but won't admit to is my point. Men run around when they are young and sleep around and it's called having fun and women need to accept that's just something men do. Women do it and we're sluts and will have hard times finding the right man because of it. It's not a truth, it's just a double standard is all. And even if you believed it to be a truth, there's no reason to be a jackass about it.

    • There are double standards for both genders, this is just one of many. It's still true of you like it or not.

  • Begin a Nice Friendship is Step One, Hun.
    Nurse and Nurture Something that could be Special, and always go Slow with Joe.
    Hope you don't Mind some Advice from the Master. However, a few years ago, I was Asked to be a Mod but was Never Into it.
    Good luck. xx

  • Whoa whoa slow down cinderella! Maybe the problem is you. Do you even know what you want? Do you understand why you fell for idiots? Do ya? I think you need to grow up and learn more about what a healthy relationship. I suggest you don't look for a relationship instead work on you.

    • I've done my reflecting and I'm aware of what's been going on with me. I have some issues regarding my fathers, how they treated me and treated my mother and learned that subconsciously influenced the men I went for. The exhibited all the same negative traits yet I ignored them because I thought things were normal yet they weren't. I also did not look at the right examples for good influences. Most of my family and friends have been in very bad relationships and I had to actively search for healthy relationships to learn what was right and wrong. The confidence in myself and learning to do what was right for me also needed work.

      I haven't been with anyone in months and haven't actively sought out anything either. I have been working on me. I'm in school, have hobbies, I work , and spend time with family. I'm pretty independent. I don't need someone and that's not why I'm now interested in looking for someone. I want someone, the right someone, to commit and fall in love with.

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    • @AFBBucks At least I had parents that taught me how to be a good person and not to cyber bully someone.

    • @AFBBucks - yup. Major red flag right there...

  • Stay true to yourself. You don't need to give up your principles for them. They ask to date you, so they need to qualify. If they don't meet your standards, and I mean the very basics of what your looking for in a partner, break it off. They can't wait for sex? Break it off. Don't respect you overall nor your feelings and emotions? Boundaries being crossed? End it. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.

    But this whole thing about them being fun, good looking and confidence is subjective. Sure you may had fun. But what kind of fun that it has you fed up? Obviously it was mainly the lust and sex. Physical attraction should be the very last thing on your mind when looking for a mate. Confidence is good. But their is also those guys who are boastful and prideful as well. Those were the ones you were dealing with. So you need to slow down, take a major break. Observe their behavior and body language. Watch for how they react to everything in their lives.

    How he treats people, his family, friends, siblings, children, parents, the elderly, his superiors, even animals, etc. Especially animals and children. They are a dead give away besides ones elders and parents. You don't want a animal or children hater if your not one yourself. And if you look at honoring your parents as important, you better look at that too. Check everything. That includes job prospect, education goals, morals, beliefs, faiths, value systems and standards. He he religious, believe in God or not. How does he treats others who is not like him? Does he want children? His views on marriage, and premarital sex? All these things and whatever else needs to be considered before you become official. And then hopefully somebody will cross paths with you, and all you have to do is either say yes or no.

  • Good luck with that haha. Also, just a heads up-dating someone a little bit plain/less attractive because you think he will be more likely to stick around-doesn't work. The guy will think 'ooh if I can date this hot babe then I can date an even hotter one' and mess you around just the same as the rest. So don't settle for someone that is unattractive to you.

    • ummm just so you know when a man reaches his pinnacle point in his life he stays there do you know why he stays there it's because men are satisfied it's women that ain't satisfied so nice try on that one and by the way you don't tell her what she wants in her life

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    • Typical female diversionary tactics - "your punctuation isn't satisfactory therefore I will not consider your opinion"


    • Good job, ignore all of his points because a period was out of place. That's convenient lol. No wonder so many repeat the same mistakes, you can't handle any truth or criticism.

  • I think you need to find a little older man. Someone who has his sh*t together and can focus on a woman. Go to places where older guys go. Have dinner at the bar. Stay out of the clubs and places boys go to get drunk. Establish habits like going to the same place for coffee in the morning hours.

  • You have to focus on the person more than the superficial qualities- looks, how cool they are, who their friends are. Find someone who is willing to be your friend and listen to your problems, cares about you, and is nice to you. At your age the guys are still a little young to want commitment, so be open to dating an older guy who will treat you well.

  • I'm afraid this will very probably be me in a few more years...

    • Girl don't post anything like that on here. These men are calling me all sorts of sluts and saying hurtful things because I don't know why.

    • Women wanted "equality" so chivalry died. Rot in pieces. No one wants your dried up old used cunt anymore lol

    • @Danny01239 boy, bye

  • it takes a lot more screening

  • I think you just triggered a lot of men on here :)

    • I did, they're all pissed. And I think they're all sad they haven't had luck in their relationships.

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    • ''triggered' is just code word for ''lots of guys disagreed with my point of view and told me the truth'' or ''they told me the truth but not in a very nice way''.

    • @Truthatanycost No baby, they were literally triggered by their own shortcomings with women.

  • Use the search function on this site and look for keywords like "bad boys" , "hit the wall", "mgtow", etc. Read the guys' mytakes and opinions and you'll understand why you're getting responses you don't like.