Is he not chivalrous at all or is it just me?

I've been seeing this guy for 3 weeks now. We've met 3 times so far.

First time: Coffee, we agreed to meet at an in-the-middle location (not far/not close to both of our places). We got to know each other then we said goodbye and got back on our owns..

Second date: Dinner at another in-the-middle location. After that he took me to a swimming pool and we sat by swimming pool and talked till 1AM. It was very late, I don't even drive so he said he'd take me back only if my place was close or I could come to his place instead, I let him take me back to my brother's place (closer than my home).

3rd date (Friday): He invited me to dinner in his area. I asked him to pick me up from my workplace (about 4 miles from his place) but he said he was already in his area and would be better if I took a taxi. So I did, after dinner, we headed back to his place very late and slept (sexual stuff involved but no intercourse). The day after (Saturday), I stayed at his place till the afternoon then I told him I wanted to leave, I asked him to take me downstairs, but he said I could do that by myself since it's only 2 floors to the door. He then said if we were to go out for lunch or something together then he would've had a reason to go downstairs with me (?). So I agreed to go for lunch with him. After lunch, I asked him if he would take me to my workplace in the morning on the next time since he'd also have to go to work in the morning too, he said he worked in another area so he wouldn't want to (even tho the 2 places are relatively close). Then he raised the issue about women in his country are very independent and he expected that from me (he's from France).

My concern is it's pretty common that the guys pick up and take the girls back. Is this guy is selfish? He treats me nice with everything but why wouldn't he pick me up and take me back if it's not even that far? he wouldn't even take me downstairs when I wanted leave... Should I hang around?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's definitely selfish, but the thing is, that's just something that's really common with young guys. A lot of them just don't see the big deal and that's paired with a feminist movement that sort of looks down on that sort of "chivalrous" behavior (both the women who ask for it and the men who assume that women want it). And the thing as, I'm aware of these opinions well enough to where I see what they're talking about. I mean, you can see how if you were a femi-nazi, you might argue that you're asking to be treated like a child, right?

    Personally, I'm never impressed with guys like that but I'm older and from what I've seen with people your age, what he does isn't all that uncommon and isn't necessarily a bad sign.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not that he's being selfish. That's how most people are nowadays. It's not common to find someone chivalrous male or female.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He sounds totally clueless. This has nothing to do with being chivalrous or independent. It's just laziness, selfishness, and cluelessness. He shouldn't even act like that with a guy friend, let alone a woman he's dating.

    Is it just you? No, it's all him. I don't see it changing anytime soon either.

    A lot of guys that age are not going to be chivalrous or romantic, but you can certainly do better than this guy.

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  • Well "feminism" has taught us that women are independent...

    So why would I drive an independent woman around?

    You sound self-entitled

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  • To me this just seems disrespectful and lazy. But I'm more on the old fashioned side I guess lol.

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What Girls Said 0

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