Is it weird to ask a friend, who you may not know too well, to set you up?

I've been on Okcupid, Tinder, and POF for about 4 years now and have only had a handful of dates. Online dating just is not happening for me. A huge filter has been that I'm 34 and I've been living at my father's house for 3+ years; ladies hate that. Job market is horrible in my field, I'm always applying to jobs, I'm applying to grad school for the spring, my healthcare and diet is very costly (diabetes, celiacs, ibs), I keep myself pretty busy with changing my career and my hobbies (active musician, creative type, repair man, gym/hike often, eat healthy, etc...). I am constantly working to improve my situation, but I've been single a long time. I get lonely, and I pretty much have no self-esteem due to my living/health/lonely situation. It feels hopeless, but I do not act hopeless. I haven't had sex in an embarrassingly long time (I shouldn't feel weird for missing/wanting intimacy). My closest friends can't believe that I'm single. They've tried to set me up a couple times, but they were far from my "type"/zero connection/zero attraction. I've been trying online dating because I don't have the opportunity to meet new people. I don't drink alcohol so I'm not creeping in bars.
I have a few friends/acquaintances that I don't know as well, I don't have their phone numbers but we've been friends on facebook a while, that I am considering asking if they might be able to set me up (?) Would that be weird? For example, my good friend's girlfriend, I thought I might ask her because a) we have many friends in common from many different circles b) common interests c) close in age/location, etc... But I guess I don't want to be advertising this stuff too much. "Desperation is a stinky cologne". I also don't want any of my friends to be offended if I'm not interested.
Any advice? Could you advise a genuine and polite way to ask? Thank you for reading.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's not weird at all. Just tell them that you would like it if they tried to set you up with a cute girl.
    Also, how is it possible that you cannot find a girl? You look objectively attractive on your avatar.

    • 13d

      Thank you, but in my dating experience, most are turned off that I currently live with family, it sucks but oh well. I also have no self-esteem because of that. I'm currently focusing on myself and trying to change improve those things, but I feel that the older I get the more difficult it is to meet a lady, so I shouldn't give up on it. As far as asking a platonic female friend that I haven't known very long to set me up; I guess I worry about coming across as too pathetic/desperate/just trying to get laid/weird. Can you provide a hypothetical way of asking that wouldn't come across that way? Thank you for taking the time.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't ask him to set up. Ask him to be your wingman for a night on the town. Let him offer to set you up.

    • 14d

      My post/question was aimed at asking a platonic female friend, not a dude.

    • Show All
    • 14d

      PS:chick friend is even better to have as your wingman, 100X better than a guy friend. Even if the guy friend is the best hustler/player you ever met in your life. It is easier for the woman to convince the chicks to go home with you.
      WARNING! Following my advice on this will just get you an overnighter, maybe 2 (months worth if your good enough). Long term stuff I don't know about. This friend better know you well. 12 years was longest I have under my belt lol.
      But wait do I know, I just had years of practice and refuse to pick chicks up at bars, clubs, libraries, malls, on the streets after 1:30am, etc etc there is just no challenge to it anymore, I know the first group of drunk chicks I see is coming to party with us lol don't even need to be drunk for me (I usually go for the DD) the drunk ones are for the wingman. If wingman are good then the chick Sobers up if not i take them to bed with me. (Not bragging just that confident)

    • 13d

      "bag of sand?"