I'm 18 years old, and I have never had a girlfriend. I have never had sex either, nor cuddled a girl. I have realized that I'm a beta male with no confidence at all.
I'm too naive (if a girl looks me in the eyes for 0.5 seconds, I think she's into me). I have a problem that I'm too nice, too sensitive with girls. I talk to her like she's my friend, and I'm very shy. I start shaking when I'm too close to a girl. And I have never attracted a girl.
I really want to try to be loved by a girl, but I simply don't know how to get into a relationship.
I wanna become more masculine, but I need some advice on this, so I get some alpha male tendencies instead of beta.
I don't look good really. I'm tall and skinny but my facial features aren't really attractive. I may be percieved as weird by most.
You got any ideas what I can do about my beta male tendencies?
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, discard all that alphabetagammadelta crap! I mean, it's crap man. Around for eons and just tied up in a shiny new trashbag. It's time to take out the garbage. And actually, that's a great step towards becoming a better version of yourself. Cuz let's face it- this isn't about getting a girl, it's about being happy in life. Now I'm not exactly like you so I don't have your personalized 3 steps to success, but I do have steps that have helped me become a better person and others as well. Personal growth happens organically- aka not planned. AKA, Make changes then wait 3 months. Repeat.
#1. Read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. You don't even have to read all the way through, just 1chap a week and take notes. After 4 weeks, if it's not actually helping you, then move on to #2 if you haven't already.
#2. Go to the library and check out an entire stack-full of books about self confidence. Browse the chapters once a week and take notes.
#3. Watch Tedx talks on self improvement, confidence, etc. anything you feel like you lack. A talk is 15-30min, and instead of an hour of bullshit you spend half the time listening to a scientist or psychologist who actually knows what they're talking about.
#4. Get rid of some friends. This may sound counter-productive, but get rid of friends who put you down in any way, or who could be described as "toxic". This includes family too.
#5. Get outside. Find a free monthly or weekly class, meetup, or group in your area. Here's a few taglines to get you started- Pokemon TCG, Photography, Kayaking, Tennis. The point of this is to discover things you didn't realize you would enjoy, expand your comfort zone, and meet potential new friends who believe in you.
#6. If any of the above choices of action seem scary to you, find a cheap therapist in town. Look, at your age, everyone need therapy! lol. Your life is about to become more stressful than you could ever imagine, it's creeping upon you now- so get help. A therapist- especially one who specializes or has any background training in DBT- will be able to help you be your own best self by helping you integrate your actions with new thought patterns. Therapy is not inherently cheap, but a good google search should show up at least one in your area with a rate of $20/session.
Finally, look at your life as a set of stairs. Each step gives you a better perspective. And girls are definitely attracted to someone with confidence, no bs, and personal growth.3