I'm a beta male! What can I do about it?

I'm 18 years old, and I have never had a girlfriend. I have never had sex either, nor cuddled a girl. I have realized that I'm a beta male with no confidence at all.
I'm too naive (if a girl looks me in the eyes for 0.5 seconds, I think she's into me). I have a problem that I'm too nice, too sensitive with girls. I talk to her like she's my friend, and I'm very shy. I start shaking when I'm too close to a girl. And I have never attracted a girl.
I really want to try to be loved by a girl, but I simply don't know how to get into a relationship.
I wanna become more masculine, but I need some advice on this, so I get some alpha male tendencies instead of beta.
I don't look good really. I'm tall and skinny but my facial features aren't really attractive. I may be percieved as weird by most.

You got any ideas what I can do about my beta male tendencies?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, discard all that alphabetagammadelta crap! I mean, it's crap man. Around for eons and just tied up in a shiny new trashbag. It's time to take out the garbage. And actually, that's a great step towards becoming a better version of yourself. Cuz let's face it- this isn't about getting a girl, it's about being happy in life. Now I'm not exactly like you so I don't have your personalized 3 steps to success, but I do have steps that have helped me become a better person and others as well. Personal growth happens organically- aka not planned. AKA, Make changes then wait 3 months. Repeat.
    #1. Read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. You don't even have to read all the way through, just 1chap a week and take notes. After 4 weeks, if it's not actually helping you, then move on to #2 if you haven't already.
    #2. Go to the library and check out an entire stack-full of books about self confidence. Browse the chapters once a week and take notes.
    #3. Watch Tedx talks on self improvement, confidence, etc. anything you feel like you lack. A talk is 15-30min, and instead of an hour of bullshit you spend half the time listening to a scientist or psychologist who actually knows what they're talking about.
    #4. Get rid of some friends. This may sound counter-productive, but get rid of friends who put you down in any way, or who could be described as "toxic". This includes family too.
    #5. Get outside. Find a free monthly or weekly class, meetup, or group in your area. Here's a few taglines to get you started- Pokemon TCG, Photography, Kayaking, Tennis. The point of this is to discover things you didn't realize you would enjoy, expand your comfort zone, and meet potential new friends who believe in you.
    #6. If any of the above choices of action seem scary to you, find a cheap therapist in town. Look, at your age, everyone need therapy! lol. Your life is about to become more stressful than you could ever imagine, it's creeping upon you now- so get help. A therapist- especially one who specializes or has any background training in DBT- will be able to help you be your own best self by helping you integrate your actions with new thought patterns. Therapy is not inherently cheap, but a good google search should show up at least one in your area with a rate of $20/session.
    Finally, look at your life as a set of stairs. Each step gives you a better perspective. And girls are definitely attracted to someone with confidence, no bs, and personal growth.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Start working out. It'll help you get the look you want, and more importantly, it'll give you confidence. Also, find a guy (real or fictional) who you want to be like, and emulate him in everything you do.

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    • 1mo

      Working out doesn't change anything. I know because it hasn't changed me one bit except physically which isn't that important. The only way to change yourself is to change the way you think.

  • Stop giving a f*ck about what others think. Be confident with what you do, and it will show.

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  • Just try to improve yourself and maybe you'll gain some confidence. Also forget all this alpha/beta male crap.

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  • download the full version

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What Guys Said 17

  • That's the insecurity talking!! Remove that and there leaves 50% of your beta male ness with it.

    10% luck
    20% skill
    15% concentrated power of will
    5% status
    50% pain
    100% reason to change your beta Game 😅

    Just work on all your flaws over time. Seriously work on it like everything depends on it.

    A man told me this once... when you want the "championship" you don't live like there is a tomorrow.

    The championship is basically your goal/desire. You want it bad enough, you work that much harder to achieve it. A girl, a job, a better life, a car, a actual championship lol.

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  • Probably your looks. Guys who are confident in themselves are usually confident because they were lucky enough to have been born with good genetics. Being attractive helped shape their social interactions from a young age, giving them more confidence from positive validation and better social skills.

    The other part is just not caring about other people, which isn't really a choice. Compassion is something that you either feel or don't feel its not a concious choice.

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  • i think your confidence is the first thing you need to work on. one to do is to see women in a more realistic light. i think many, especially young guys, put women on too high a pedestal. we see them as unobtainable or something so lofty that it makes us nervous.

    women are humans. they want relationships. they want to be cared for, loved, etc. so keep that in mind.

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    • 1mo

      Exactly. We don't want to be treated like a queen; we want to be treated like a partner and friend.

    • 1mo

      @snowangle I would beg to differ. Most girls look for their knight who will treat them as a queen, that's the main reasons many guys a low self-esteem.

  • Honestly, go to a gym and get shredded. Looks are everything to girls and the increased muscle mass will rocket your testosterone production and likely buff your confidence.

    But yeah. All I can say is do everything you can to look better. Girls honestly care about appearance and nothing else. Your personality isn't a big deal tbh

    Good luck bud.

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  • You can start by looking good, to the bath tub! Dress up! Parfume

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  • Stop masturbating. It will solve all your problems.

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  • get rid of your beta male mentality completely and live your life the way you want.

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  • A lot of people have said that starting to lift/getting built will help, but it sounds like most of your problem is inadequate socialization with women. Lifting doesn't help you develop social skills; it'll just help you think you have good social skills.

    My advice would be what some others have said - focus on building up yourself. Physically, yes, but also hobbies/interests, professional skills, etc. Doing these things will put you in contact with more women and will make you an interesting person to be around.

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    • 1mo

      Well not really, starting to lift/getting built will only help you with your confidence really, I just laugh at people who says that if you are well build you would get laid 24/7... It's not entirely true tho.

  • Post a pic so we can see what we're working with here,

    Dm me if you don't want to post public

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  • Ask your alpha friends for help. itll be alright.

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  • go to the gym and work out. dedicate yourself to build yourself into something better. it will give you confidence and then stick with it, it will all work out for you in the end.

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  • Start lifting. Lifting gives you more confidence and sex appeal. So then you start having sex. Then you get more confidence etc. Puts you a good direction.

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  • Lift weights , will fix all problems and make you confident.

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  • there's not much you can do, can't have all chiefs and no indians :/

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  • you are not a beta male. women are beta females with self destructive attraction standards. you dont need them.

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    • 1mo

      oh... and a little autistic sounds great to me. we NEED "weird" in this world. they want to makes us all, one big messy mass. sheeple that are identical like they were produced in a factory line. the "weird ones" move the history of humanity forward. not the (not at all) "normal" societal masses that fall into oblivion... .

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    • 1mo

      I'm afraid that I won't even reproduce, since I don't know how I can be in a relationship, since I'm a little autistic, and don't really know how to talk to women.

    • 1mo

      you are not a beta male. women are beta females with self destructive attraction standards. you dont need them. Haha, you just completely described a feminist woman in my humble opinion.

  • First rule of alphaness... Dont care about what people say and do. But also care less about any of your outcomes. First rule, simply, is not to care.

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    • 1mo

      But also care less about any of your outcomes.

      WRONG ! You should care less if it's a negative outcome and be proud and overjoyed if it was something that you wanted to achieve for a very long or short time and it came out positively.

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