How would you feel if your partner wasn't physically attracted to you? Would you date someone you weren't physically attracted to? Is it necessary?

You know you've heard people say 'looks don't matter in a relationship', but what if you knew your partner wasn't physically attracted to you? Would that be a big deal to you/how would you feel? Would that be a big enough problem to break up/find someone who was physically attracted to you?
Secondly, would you be willing to date someone who was a fantastic partner in every way other than the fact that he/she is not physically attractive to you? Why or why not?
Is physical attraction an absolute must in a relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • How would I feel? I've been in that situation where I felt that way, in spite of what they said, because of how low their sex drive was. It devastated my self esteem. It took a fair bit for me to learn to feel okay about myself in spite of that, and it's still, to be honest, nothing like i'd feel if I was in a relationship with a partner actively desiring me.

    Given what I've learned, if I were dating now, testing for their attraction to me would be something i'd do very early, and I have zero interest in dating someone who -isn't- very sexually attracted to me. Some women are! I'm only interested in dating them.

    As for the other direction? I need to want to fuck them. Pretty bad. Seeing them in tight clothes or bent over or naked should make me think YESSSS. They do not have to be anywhere near perfect for that to be the case, but that level of desire needs to be there.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually don't know. My crush only seems to like me cause I like him so I am confused. But he is totally sweet he gave me his jacket and all. I would totally wanna date him! I would scream yes if he asked me out and tell all my friends <3

    But, later (I get really insecure) I will have trust issues like if he thinks other girls are pretty/beautiful. This can cause cheating very quickly so I would probably ask him and put him to the test to see if he really loves me like this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEBF0sz_56I

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What Guys Said 27

  • Physical attraction is the glue that hold the bricks of a relationship together. The bricks are love, respect, mutual focus...

    But no matter how strong the bricks are, it a big enough crisis comes along, they will fall because they have nothing holding them together.

    On the other hand, glue without the bricks is useless. You need both.

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  • The people that say "looks don't matter" I think are full of it personally. If they mean compared to personality, that it's not ONLY about looks, then I agree totally. But to the ones that say "looks don't matter at all" BULL CRAP lol. For me, looks are equally as important as personality and probably are or should be to everyone. If you're not physically attracted to your partner or them you, at all, then it's going to cause problems in your relationship at some point, guaranteed. Sex isn't going to happen and someone won't be getting their needs met anymore (maybe both won't be) and then people may start looking elsewhere for it. These are usually the people that believe sex isn't important in a relationship either or don't want it very often.

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  • Yes it's a must. The first thing you do is look at someone. When I first saw my now wife I was attracted to her so that made me interested in finding out more about her and seeing if we was compatible personality wise.

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  • Look are what gets your personality's foot in the door.

    It is not shallow or petty to want to find your SO physically attractive - in fact, it is essential. If I ever found myself with someone who revealed they didn't find me attractive I'd ask what the hell was going on in their head.

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  • Oh hell no! I'd be out of that relationship.

    I am man enough to admit, that what makes me have interest in a woman, is her wanting and desiring me.

    If she doesn't find me physically attractive, then I'm #PeaceOut

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  • That is friendship not a relationship

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  • it would be a BIG deal to me. i would feel ugly and totally unloved, and i would break up with her ASAP! and hope someone else comes along who actually loves me 100% and is attracted to me in every way. so physical attraction IS an absolute must in a relationship aka looks do matter as much as emotional attraction or any others. otherwise if you dont have it all, they will cheat. especially women.

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  • That would probably be a deal breaker for me, as I can't believe that someone could stay with someone long term with no physical attraction. Likewise, I could not stay with someone I was not physically attracted to. Relationships are very physical, visual, and emotional. Got to have all the pieces

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  • At my age ill sacrifice looks morals. Too many single moms and nasty women walking around these days

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  • I would not date someone I'm not physically attracted to. If my partner was not physically attracted to me, I'm really not sure what I would do or how I would feel.

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  • I couldn't date someone who was not physically attracted to me. It would always be in the back of my mind that if someone good looking who she was attracted to came along then our relationship would be under threat.

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  • Physical attraction is an absolute must in a relationship. Life is too short to dance with ugly women.

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  • I would wonder why that person is with me. Physical attraction, at least somewhat, is a must just as much as personality and common interests are a must. You can't lack one or the other.

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  • I wouldn't even be dating such a person

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  • It's an absolute must yes, I wouldn't date someone who isn't attracted to me or who I am not attracted to, there has to be mutual physical attraction for it to work out.

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  • I don't understand how people can date someone they aren't attracted to or can date someone who isn't attracted to them.

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  • Physical attraction is an absolute must in a relationship.

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  • Of she was not attracted to me im not gonna be with her.

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  • Definitely not, that's a deal breaker. I won't feel loved by her.

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  • If I found out my wife didn't think I was attractive I would die inside. I really don't even know what is would do

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  • Sounds like a gold digger.

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  • Yes its an absolute must people may say it isn't but they are lying either to themselves or to you.

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    • 1mo

      To be fair I have known a couple girls who are not super conventionally attractive but I found them really attractive because I liked their personality.

  • To me it isn't neccesaru, as long as we have a compatible personality.

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  • Looks don't matter a damn bit to me. I wouldn't care.

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  • I would feel really bad and insecure. I would feel like some guy more attractive than me could just easily whisk her away

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  • I wouldn't date someone I'm not physically attracted to in the beginning and I know my ex wasn't really that physically attracted to me

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  • thats why i dont waste my time with relationships. life is too short to ask stupid questions like that. i dont care to be attractive to some woman. or if a woman loses attraction to me. thats such first world problem bullshit... .

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What Girls Said 13

  • If I knew he wasn't attracted to me, as self assured as I am, that'd destroy me. I wouldn't be able to stay with him long after getting that information because everyone deserves to feel desired in all aspects in their relationship.

    For me, if there's no attraction, there's no chance for a relationship.

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  • I would have a problem with that. I need to be able to maintain a relationship with someone that I am able to get off from, get turned on from, get a stimulation from just looking at them, etc. If I'm not physically attracted to them, that means I am not dating them.

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  • it would make me insecure and lower my esteem if my partner wasn't attracted to me.
    I've dated people who weren't the hottest guys around, but their personality and the way they carry themselves make me physically attracted to them. I think physical attraction is a must, but people can be physically attractive in more ways than just looks

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  • I didn't find my boyfriend overly attractive when we started dating but once you fall in love they become the most attractive person you've ever met

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  • I have dated some people that were not so conveiniently attractive simply because I liked them for some reason. But I do think that some physical attraction is important. That said, my previous partner found my face pretty but hated everything I wore which made me lose my confidence. So I need my partner to find me physically attractive somewhat.

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  • Back then I thought it did not matter , but it really do !! 😮 Very important actually. Because I think being in a relationship where you dont find your partner attractive is weird , and you will probably wanting or longing for an attractive partner either way.. 😭

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  • I think it's ridiculous when people pretend looks don't matter. Are they the most important? Of course not. But they do matter and I would never pretend otherwise.

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  • If he wasn't clearly attracted to the way I look, I wouldn't be dating him to begin with.

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  • I wouldn't want to be with someone that found me unattractive and wouldn't be with someone that I didn't find attractive.

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  • I would most certainly tell them to break up.

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  • I just find it funny how many guys on here like to say girls shouldn't care about appearance then the same guys say they wouldn't date someone who isn't attracted to them.. pick one.

    I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to nor would I date someone who wasn't attracted to me

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  • It's a must not because looks matter but with no physical attraction you will eventually destroy your partners self esteem and make them extremely insecure.

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  • Wouldn't him being your fantastic partner in every way make him attractive to you?

    I can't be alone there... I feel like that's what people mean by looks don't matter. Not that they don't need to be attracted , just that their physical attraction comes from something else? I don't know, I don't think I'm explaining that well-lol.

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