Is it okay for a 19yr old to date their 24 yr old teacher?

I'm a 19 yr old girl and there's a student teacher at my school who's 24. I don't know if he likes me more than physically being attracted to me, but he definitely looks at me a bit more than the other students. (Not that I mind) I obviously know that dating him is out if the question until I graduate in 7 months or he leaves. But, do you think I have a chance and be taken seriously, or am I out of my league because I was kind of his student?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be clear and accurate, there's nothing "illegal" (criminal) about dating a teacher, from the student's POV. There's also nothing "unlawful" (civil) about dating a teacher, from the student's POV. Now, there may be something within the college's student handbook or private rules and regulations that prohibit such conduct (i. e., administrative review before the college).

    From the teacher's POV, however, it's not "illegal" (criminal) unless the student is underage (and depending on the laws in some states, coerces the student into having sex by threatening "to give her BAD GRADES UNLESS she has sex with him). Obviously, the same administrative review that applies to the student would also apply to the teacher (only, unlike the student, the teacher's job is on the line). Lastly, it is "unlawful" (civil) for a teacher to even be non-sexually romantically involved with a student. This gives rise to Federal Title IX claims agains the school itself for not giving both boys and girls the same opportunity to have access to education (and state equivalents to Title IX).

    Where does extra credit under the table fall under all of this? That's actually "not" criminal nor actionable under Title IX (at least by the female student, perhaps it is by the male students if their grades are based on a true forced curve and girls are allowed to get "extra" points by performing sexual favors).

    Either way, you either keep things on the down low, or you wait.

    Now, I know it might seem "easier" to just "wait seven months," but... I had this conversation with my god son recently.. there are places/opportunities for you to meet people "organically" and "naturally," and then there is the rest of like where you have to sort of "force" your way into meeting people "unnaturally." If you can both keep this on the DL (and you know he has more incentive than you to keep it on the DL, if anything, he would need to trust you a lot before feeling comfortable entertaining the idea), then you can build on that tension and momentum "while it's still there."

    After 7 months, maybe something has changed for one of you or someone or something else comes along. Just something to think about.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't see anything wrong with the age part but because of the fact that he was and still is your teacher, he is risking his job if you guys do happen to date. It is illegal for a teacher to get involved with a student. But, maybe a couple of years down the line if he still will be attracted to you once you turn 21 and you technically won't be a teenager anymore and fully considered an adult then get in contact with him and see where it takes you two.

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What Guys Said 8

  • nothing illegal about it but it is a moral and ethical issue since he is in a position of authority

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  • There's this saying about not shitting where you eat. I think it applies here.

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  • No: the teacher could get fired for it.

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  • Unless you want to be in the news, don't date your teacher.

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  • Depends on his morals but once you leave it's legal.

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  • not suitable until he is ur teacher

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  • Go for it 👌

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  • The age gap is fine but it's not a good idea to date your teacher

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What Girls Said 4

  • no it is not okay to ever date your teacher even if they are the same age as you

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  • I think he won't treat you as an equal and you will still be like a student to him - sorry

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  • If its legal

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  • Both are legal age, so yes it's okay

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