Guys, what is the true reason for ghosting?

Something that has happened to me recently, and a few of my friends, is when a guy completely ghosts on you. I understand that when there's no connection or a date goes wrong you end things. What I don't understand is why guys are ALWAYS disappearing without any explanation.

Do you think that the person you ghosted on was truly that awful and they deserve absolutely no closure? or are you just too big of a wimp to come out and say "Im not interested" I 100% don't understand why guys think ignoring it until it goes away is the right thing to do. I've told guys in the past that I didn't seem to have a connection and I think it's best that we go our separate ways, why is it so hard for you all to do that? It's not like it's the year 1965 where you have to go up in person and end things with someone, things are so easy now, and the fact that guys can't even send a simple "I don't think this is going to work out" text really concerns me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I really think women do this significantly more than men do. And the reason is they are no longer interested so they don't give a fuck. Why would they give you an explanation when they've already deemed you unworthy? That would be going out of their way to do something uncomfortable just for your benefit. It's much easier to just ghost and let them figure it out themselves. Something women are really good at it seems to me. Just ignoring until they finally get the picture and have embarrassed themselves enough by trying to keep contact. That's basically the default way everyone says "I'm not interested in you." Especially women. It's not a "guy thing".

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What Guys Said 22

  • I've never completely ghosted someone so I'm not sure either. I have cut contact after I already told them it wasn't going to work and they kept trying to contact me. I think its dumb especially like you said its totally except able if you've only went on one date with someone to just fire off a quick text.

    However I won't offer this information unless they try to contact me afterwards asking to go out again, so maybe that could be seen as ghosting?

    I could ask the same question though lol. I recently had a girl that I was pretty god damn invested in just stop answering my calls and stop texting me back. I got on twitter and seen her talking about her new "bae" so I guess that answers that. At the same time I've known her for months and I think its such bullshit she can't tell me what's going on and just avoids me instead. Its not like we went on one date.

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  • (I copied that somewhere) Girls don’t like having the breakup conversation and guys absolutely despise it. Most men would rather walk over a bed of burning hot coals than tell a girl to her face they’re not into her. So they ghost. And most of the time, they will reason that the girl is probably on the same page so there is no need to reach out. They tell themselves that she must know this isn’t going to work out and calling and telling her something she already knows would just be silly, so that’s the end of that.

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  • He is done and doesn't have the decency or guts to tell her. This is childish behavior and the girl should be glad it happened even though it may hurt. It's a strong indicator of his immaturity and insecurities that a mature woman shouldn't want in her man. It happened to my Granddaughter and she was hurt, but I explained what I said above, she thought about it and came back saying how much better she felt after looking at it from that angle. I hope this helps someone.

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  • Hey squirt, girls do this shit too; I've experienced it first hand on a couple occasions. Don't make it out to be something guys are only guilty of. Its not a gender thing. Its a people thing. So you should rethink your stance on this.

    That being said, people ghost when they don't give enough shits about the other person to give them an explanation. You're essentially meaningless to them. That, in and of itself, should tell you where you stand with them.

    There are other people who don't like confrontation and will try to ignore the issue hoping it goes away on its own. This probably applies more to girls than it does guys.

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  • No balls to man up and state how he feels...

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  • It is easy, you may just ask him for a sincere answer. I do the same with girls who like ghosting I just text: " I don't like playing games, are you interested or not just tell me so we both don't waste our times. All the best". 90% of the girls reply to me, for those that don't reply it is clear that they aren't interested. Anyway you shouldn't give a fuck keep working on your goals and push forward

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  • Not that they don't deserve closure. They do. It's just that it's hard to give one when there's the easier option of just not doing it and avoiding drama.

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  • I'm ghosting a chick right now. I basically told her I'm not interested in hooking up or anything but she still wants to 'hang-out' the fact that I rejected her and she still comes across as thirsty is a huge turn off. Truthfully I just want her to go away.

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  • Women ghost more than men, because for some reason women seem more fearful about a guy physically retaliating against them (as ridiculous as that sounds).

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  • From a man's perspective it's because she is boring somehow, or we found a better girl. Sometimes I'm just not feeling it with a girl and I'd rather not deal with it

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  • This is a 100% Female behavior.

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  • "scared of confrontation" bye!

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  • lol cuz it hurts our ego when any girls dumps us... can't help nature made us that way... and most of time we don't send text cuz we don't want long & arguing conversation

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  • I have no idea... this is the first time I have heard of ghosting. It most definitely sounds like an avoidance strategy albeit an irresponsible one.

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  • BOTH genders do this , because they are afraid of possible confrontation / hurting feelings.

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  • Not wanting to hurt your feelings but really not being interested.

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  • Ok its not only a girl for the guys that claims its only a girl thimg no its both girls an guys an cuz they afraid to man up or woman up lol but dont blame it all on females they all ain't the same

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  • Guys don't ghost that's a girl thing

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  • i dk, why do women do it?

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  • Women are one problem that is cured by ignoring them. "closure" is some do-gooder therapy mumbo jumbo term, that makes no sense. Just move on. The past is the past.

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  • Guys are simple. Ghosting is done when it appears to be the path of least resistance. That is, it's the quickest and easiest way to singledom.

    So many girls just won't take "I'm not interested anymore" at face value. They want to know why, what happened, what can they do, is there someone else, what does she have that I don't have... The questions NEVER end, even when the guy says his number one reason for leaving is that she talks too damn much and won't ever shut up and just take things as they are.

    But why?

    So rather than face the never ending questions and pleas, we ghost.

    Okay?

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  • To avoid drama and confrontation. I try to let the person off easy, but it sucks. I've been ghosted so many times and my biggest issue with it is not knowing what I did wrong so I know not to do it in the future.

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