Losing interest in dating and finding a significant other, don't know what to do, after facing rejection after rejection, I've lost drive what to do?

Like my am 29 yo going on 30(im not 18-24, I just chose that randomly) and after facing rejection after rejection I just dont even feel like bothering finding a significant other, someone to spend time with and develop a close bond with, after the last rejection I feel like I have lost my drive to actually find someone and flirt/bond, I don't know what's wrong with me, when I was younger I was so ambitious to have a good job, accomplish goals of mine, and find a significant other to spend my life with exploring and laughing together etc, I have only had one relationship in my life and it was in high school, it's embarrassing because my father was actually the one that pretty much set me up with the girl (very long story), I had no idea wtf I was doing, and the girl could tell, she always used to tell me do I know what I am doing and i ended up getting cheated on the almost 2 years we were together and the butt joke of people making fun of me. After that slowly I have gone from being optimistic, open and positive to, sad and very negative of things working out, I have accomplished all of my goals except for finding a significant other, it's gotten to the point that my coworkers set me with someone which went terrible, I just couldn't do it and she even asked if I wanted to have sex but I just don't want sex, which leads me to my next point, I have pretty much lost my sexual drive which is also frustrating and people are starting to think that I am gay, I guess I just wanted to vent my frustration to random people because I feel hopeless and alone, I always pictured being in a relationship that clicked and being romantic asking a girl out but turning 30 this year has seriously terrified me, people all the time tell me I'm going to grow old and die alone and I guess deep down it has bothered me and I have been keeping all of these emotions pent up, does anyone have any suggestions, I'm not expecting miracles lol but can someone just try to give me some advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi! I totally understand what you are trying to say! And I am sorry people have made you feel that way and felt like it was acceptable to say that to another human being! I'm going to lay down a truth bomb with you and you can take it or leave it.
    Your friends have tried to set you up. That obviously means they like you! And your a liked guy, and they want to see you happy... and you want to be happy... but do you think the best way to be happy is by depending on another person to make you feel that way? Your 30, so freaking what? Last time I checked the process of finding a compatible partner isn't a game or a race? You don't get a gold medal for marrying at 20. News flash! People aren't fully matured until they are 28. The percentage of young marriages splitting is probably significantly higher then that of people that get married in there 30's. Heck most of the women you are going to date have been married once already.
    But- I think the important thing here is to look at yourself, and the way you feel about yourself. Healthy happy people attract other healthy happy people.
    Story time? I used to have horrible self esteem. I messed around with some people I shouldn't have; they made me feel a way that no one should feel (just like you). And one day I just said no, I am not going to do this anymore. I stopped looking for men to make me feel better about myself because the person whose job it is to make you happy is you. And the way to do that is to start realizing that your pretty damn great, and all of the things your amazing at. And when someone comes a long and isn't saying the same things about you as your saying to yourself? Byeeeeeee!
    If you genuinely love yourself you are going to attract people that genuinely love themselves too.
    The world is a giant sphere of time, luck and a lot of work that will eventually all intersect and when it does. THATS when you'll find her :)

    • 10d

      Thats another thing why would a guy want a women thats been married unless he has. Kind of a shitty deal if you ask me.

    • Show All
    • 9d

      @dudeman actually I think you would find that most people are fine with it. I know plenty of women dating divorced men or men with children or both. You would "find" that statistically speaking most people are okay with divorce... aka the high divorce rate. Therefore your view point on "most people" is highly illogical.

    • 9d

      Sure, im still better then that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Same here in over it. Finding decent women is too hard.


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