Do you think people that complain about being single all the time are just too picky?

I have 2 friends that have been single for ages and always complain about it. They are average looking. Not overweight or anything but not 10's either.
They always go on about how there's no decent women left etc etc

Then if a girl actually does take a liking, she is too thin or too fat, boobs too small, hair the wrong colour, face not right, legs too short, bum not round enough and the list goes on.

I think there are heaps of good looking people. I did the grocery shopping last night and I think in 1 shop alone there must have been 50 or so 18-35yr old women that I would happily cuddle up to in bed at night.

Yes some people are just better looking than others. But really, most healthy young men and women that dont eat rubbish and do a bit of exercise are all good looking in their own way.

I think most people that complain that they can't find anyone to be with are just too picky and have set there standards to high.

I dont think we should just get with the first person we come across. But at the same time, if someone is complaining they are single and a decent kind of person shows an interest, wouldn't you at least take them out for a coffee before making up your mind?

What do you think?
Do you think a lot of people have dating troubles because they are too picky?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, that's just a possibility but what I think is people who are single often try but don't get the expected results as they want. People who are too picky won't really complain about being single because they would be self aware of the fact that they have high standards so they are most likely aware of the reasons as to why they are single.

    Such people know their consequences, that they will be single at least for a long time if not forever. Hence I don't think people who are too picky will complain about being single.

    People who complain are those who try often but have bad luck which leads to their dissapointment.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think there are some peopld who want a partner so perfect that it is almost impossible to find them. It's totally fine to have preferences and not date the first person that gives you some attention, but it's another to wait for something that might not exist.

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  • I'm too picky although I crush on a lot of men but only for 2 seconds to 2weeks

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    • 1mo

      What makes you go off them?
      A physical thing
      Or something about how they act?

    • 1mo

      For me attraction is based on 3 things:
      Physical appearance
      Mental compatibility
      Personality
      If I get over them it means they were lacking 1 or 2 of the following

    • 1mo

      Yea thats prob true

  • Not necessarily. If you can't find yourself to be attracted to the person, it just won't happen.

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    • 1mo

      I think the reason that people aren't attracted though is that for whatever reason (peer pressure, media, social norms) they have been programmed with a very high expectation of what is attractive

    • 1mo

      Maybe so, but attraction comes from what you perceive to be features you deem is a yay or nay; regardless of what may influence that perception or feeling. I don't think it has anything to do with perfection, because any smart person would know that perfection doesn't exist. It's all about how you feel towards that person, and if it's not there then you won't feel anything towards them. Maybe if people gave people a chance and learn their personalities, the dating scene would be less stressful.

  • Either they haven't found the right person yet or their standard is unrealistic.

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    • 1mo

      Have your standards ever been unrealistic lol, I mean if you were single do you think I would be below your standards.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      @Shawn58 Yes I am not.

    • 1mo

      Lol why you saying it with a yes I am not its sorta like your teasing me

What Guys Said 12

  • I think a lot of times all these excuses are just that, excuses. It takes some effort. Instead of making the effort, they make excuses.

    Even thought they say they want someone, they are more in their comfort zone by being alone. Actually getting a date takes them from their comfort zone. So they make excuses.

    Sure, in some cases they are just too picky. But I think usually they are just taking the easy route.

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  • 1. a preemptive defense against the ever present offense Q = why not married or no GF?
    2. too lazy to consider this a quest with goals and regular pursuit - if one runs me down, then OK, I'll consider them
    3. expressing this needy feel - we all have it
    4. awkward & unsuccessful attempts at places like grocery stores
    5. no consideration at all of dance classes, which are hands-on men-women exercise, leading to class practice @ dance halls, socials and many marriages resulting
    6. some actually want you to toss some candidates up for them to skeet shoot them down, as if you had time for this frustration... then look at you like "really?" you knew I don't like this/that and my other preferences ,,, what sort of friend are you? grrrrrrrrrr

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  • Many, yes, but certainly not all. Those 50 women in the grocery store are nice and all but at least 30 of them will be taken and of the remaining ones most will have impossible standards themselves or horrible personalities, or not have two brain cells to rub together. Plus, how likely is it to meet them in some other venue where it's acceptable to talk to them?

    You can also have realistic standards in the sense that you like 1 in 1000, and that if you meet one of them they almost always like you back and you represent 1 in 1000 yourself, so it should also work out competition-wise. But then it takes a long time for you to meet someone simply because they're 1 in 1000. This is kinda like what gay people go through, except they at least have special bars.

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    • 1mo

      P. S. when they're mainly complaining about physical flaws of potential mates then it's most likely a matter of unrealistic superficial standards, but again, not always: if you take good care of your body and your general appearance it's not entirely wrong to want a partner who's not an obese slob. Plus it's definitely not true that people with ugly outsides always have beautiful insides.

  • I have an alternative theory -- they are too lazy or just too afraid of rejection. Your friends don't want to date badly enough to ask someone out and plan a date. And by rejecting all potential dates, they don't have to risk being rejected themselves. At the bottom of it all, your friends just don't think much of themselves. It's a sad lonely way to live.

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  • They're perfect for eachother.

    Jokes aside, yes, I think that can be a factor. Usually it's because they have some kind of personality flaw that they refuse to work on. Whether it's being too picky, too shy, too outgoing, too creepy, too lazy, unable to trust, unable to commit, can't get over past traumas etc. They have some kind of issue, major or minor, that they won't work on. There's typically some factor that ends every relationship they enter, and instead of working on it, they become bitter and spend the rest of their days blaming women for their lack of romantic success.

    OR

    They don't actually want a relationship. They actually enjoy being single more than being in a relationship.

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  • I think there is a lot of truth in what you say.

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  • No and no and no
    Im single for 3 years now and didn't go on a date for an year because of one reason women who like me are taken and lied about it do u think i want to start something with a lie...

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  • That's a possibility or they just don't know how to meet people or dated some shitty people that made them scared to trust people

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  • Yes, totally.

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  • yes this guy i know has been single for years cause he goes for girls
    WAYYYY!!! out of his league

    plus he doesn't look good girls have told me
    so he needs to lower his standards

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    • 1mo

      I think it also looks worst when guys that aren't good looking directly target the hottest girl around.
      I have seen ugly guys pull 10's at parties but they do it through interacting with everyone. They get on well with everyone and never really target a specific girl in the beginning

  • sometimes, other times not.

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  • Some people are that way, but for me it's either the girls I were into ended up flaking/ghosting or being on the rebound only to ditch me eventually.

    Then the ones who were into me were too clingy, crazy or I just didn't find them attractive. While I am looking for a relationship, I won't settle for anyone and there's certain things I won't put up with.

    It can be frustrating though because most recently I was seeing a girl that I really liked who was on the rebound and ditched me after sex. The fact that I had so much in common with her made it worse.

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