Guys, How to get a guy to see you as a possible romantic interest without coming on too strong?

I have a lot of guy friends but I can't ever seem to attract the guys I like. I am completely aware that part of my issue is that I don't put myself out there enough, but the issue is I don't know how to approach guys other then being friendly or desperate. Any guy suggestions about showing interest without coming off as desperate?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think people like you or they don't, this girl asked me out like 15 times, and she thought all along that I was just playing hard to get, hopefully you find someone with whom you can be yourself, and not have to practice this routine we all have to not embarrass ourselves in front of people, just my opinion

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    • 1mo

      It may be different for guys but I know for me and a lot of my friends we have very firm boundries between friend's and love interests. If a guy acts like my friend I automatically assume that is all he wants and then compartmentalize him in that category. If he acts like he's interested then I categorize him in the romantic interest cateogory. I may have just assumed that men do the same thing. But I will legitamatley not make a move unless I am able to read a sign off of a guy that he feels similarly. The issue is the only guys I get that vibe from are the ones that just want a hook-up. Do guys not have similar insecurities?

    • 1mo

      Yes, I think we all have insecurities, but hey maybe he's giving you the signal and your not seeing it, I know I have given ( or so I thought) the signal and I expect the girl to know I'm interested and sometimes I think they don't even know what I'm doing haha, know what I mean?

    • 1mo

      100 percent! It does help to know that guys are overthinking things just as much as I am lol. I think it is so easy to get caught up in ourselves. Maybe it just takes a little bit of guts on both sides.

  • I don't know exactly how common this is, but I am practically braindead when it comes to someone hitting on me or showing interest. So my suggestion is to make it obvious that you're open to the idea of dating. Hell, ask him out.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you! I am similarly oblivious my biggest problem is I am such a chicken. I think one of the main issues is girls have it drilled into them from a young age not to appear too desperate. I'm sure guys have there own societal rules that seem impossible. The problem is legitamatley just me being terrified of rejection. I get the hook-up opportunities but the guys I like only seem to be interested in being my friend. But at the same time the guys who do approach me as more then a friend are the guys I've regulated to the friend aspect of my life. I dream of a world where everyone is just upfront about what they want. As such for right now I am a giant hypocrite.

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