I've been thinking about this for a while. A common characteristic among people is the want to feel desired. However, even if we are in a relationship, we feel as if we are missing something, even in good ones. These missing feelings are usually due to our own perceptions of our immediate situation, which does NOT mean our perceptions are wrong, but skewed due to certain dynamics in relationships.
In bad relationships and one-sided ones, both or one of the partners will try his or her best to find a connection mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. This should NOT be an excuse to cheat, but the reality is, life is too unpredictable with people constantly changing. Those changes would be potential triggers as to why some people are willing to cheat, but not even realize they are doing it.
I've seen a wide range of scenarios. A guy isn't getting what he wants physically from the girl, and he looks for another girl whom is willing to provide. A girl is not getting the emotional support from her boyfriend, and ends up going to some other guy for support, but will not do anything with him physically. In both scenarios, the scapegoat parties are the ones essentially become third wheels that are left unfulfilled in someway, shape, or form.
Toward the poll:
Cheating is stigmatized. However, I think this is only because our human based culture EMPHASIZES on monogamous relationships, but in the most objective sense, we are animals who have only a few main goals: eat, drink, breathe, reproduce. In a way, cheating in this situation can be considered as a natural want to fulfill are normal animalistic goals, but the it is because of our culture, we do not condone it.
- Yes, they are bad and should not be considered for dating material.53% (47)60% (52)56% (99)Vote
- It depends on the situation, but still can be considered 'bad.'29% (26)25% (22)27% (48)Vote
- It's neutral, as people are solely responsible for their own feelings.18% (16)6% (5)12% (21)Vote
- Finding new people we find attractive is natural, so no, they are not 'bad' for acting upon their desires.0% (0)9% (8)5% (8)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
1) they aren't actually doing anything constructive to fix their problems
2) they're being extremely disrespectful to their partner
3) they aren't upholding their commitments
4) they are playing fast and loose with other people's feelings and well-being
5) their sneaky behavior creates distance and distrust
6) their sneaky behavior is evidence they KNOW they are behaving poorly... But doing it anyway
7) they are being cowardly and actively avoiding self-improvement and building virtues
I could go on. Yes, cheaters are being immoral, bad people. They are in full control of their behavior. Period. What other people are doing is simply an excuse.6
Most Helpful Guy
Objectively their is no such thing as morality whether I murder some one or not it means nothing. If I assault some one it doesn't make me a bad person because the notion of bad or good is a human construct. However morality and social conditioning has a very important function. See animals kill and eat other animals many will kill and eat their own, so if I kill and eat another human I have done nothing wrong from an objective standpoint but according to culture and socialization I have. Why? Because of trust. We work as a group we function as a group all of which cannot happen if we are busy worrying about what others will do, if they will kill us harm us or exploit us. Cheaters have broken trust and thus have destroyed our social interaction. Relationships are contracts, its an exchange of goods and services. When one person cheats they steal the goods/services of the other ensuring they benefit and the other does not this is not conducive to team work and group functionality hence us viewing it as wrong. Cheating I particularly bad because it deals with reproduction which is the driving force of nature, it requires incredible amounts of trust from both parties as well as substantial sharing of resources and time. Imagine you raised a child that was not yours. They are now 18. Thats 18 years of effort that whent into ensuring the survival of some one elses genes. Your genetic line may very well end with you all because you trusted a person. But not only that thats just the time you spent with them, its not including the time spent working the resources spent feeding clothing and protecting said offspring. Its not beneficial to you but it was to all others, you where used this destroyes trust but it also is theft of resources and theft of time. Because the person lost so much trust is shattered and they cannot function with that person again at least not properly because they cannot trust the other person and thus cannot risk letting down their guard or setting aside resources for the common good since they person already showed they will place their self interest above that of the group. So from a moral subjective standpoint (the only point of view morality can take) yes they are bad people by definition because they destroy social cohesion and the benefits of the group for their own self interests.1