How do I tell my mother I have a boyfriend?

I really want to go to homecoming but I want to go with my boyfriend. Over the years I have had mental breakdowns where I did some terrible things that have made my mother lose trust in me. I am not allowed to date or talk to males.
my boyfriend has told like the whole school and his mother that I'm his girlfriend but... my mother doesn't know anything. I feel as if she is suspecting me though. should I just confess? I am very worried she will kick me out or that I will be disowned or degraded.
my mother seems always stressed and aggravated. I don't have a clue what to do. how do introduce him? I'm not supposed to give my number.

  • confess to your mother.
    79% (27)76% (19)78% (46)Vote
  • keep it a secret.
    21% (7)24% (6)22% (13)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're going to get two sorts of advice. The mentally handicapped and or hypocrites will tell you to keep it a secret i. e keep lying.

    I predict you have the teenage rebellion so you won't think about your situation objectively, anyway.

    You can endlessly speculate what dreadful things will happen to you if she finds out. So ask yourself, is some guy worth ALL this trouble?

    You need to come clean about this to your mother. Of course she won't trust you, if you keep lying to her. What did you expect? More importantly, what sort of magic do you hope to make everything ok just like that?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Listen, if you don't tell her now, everybody else and your surroundings will. And she will be far more upset and angry that you never told her anything. She will not disown you or kick you out unless she feels she has a reason to. If I was a parent, the only reason why I would kick out a daughter was if she was having premarital sex, it was done in my home, and disrespected me and her father. Because I don't believe in premarital sex or any kind before marriage. I wouldn't do it, and she would be taught that very early in life.

    But the reality is, if yo knew your mother would be very upset and feel disrespected [which it is because you were told not to, and you did it anyway], why did you do it? Your under her roof, and you have to abide by her rules. I believe she is distrustful of men, and I do believe that she is your only parent at the moment correct? She is bitter about something. This is abnormal behavior.

    You need to tell your boyfriend right now to slow it down, and then tell your mother. Ask her to grant him an audience with her, and that he would like to meet and speak with her on the matter. Overall I don't know of your business sexually if you are already active with him. But make sure that you understand that if she believes in saving oneself for marriage, that is also the main reason. But disowning is way out of line. Also, how long have you two been together? I take it for a few weeks or 3 months?

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    • 1mo

      my mother was a crazy teen herself. I'm not crazy and it's going to be our 3rd week soon

    • 1mo

      @Prettyapathetic

      Well nobody from what I know of says your crazy. But that just goes to show you that this is a curse she brought upon herself. And now your looking to rebel. But I only pray that its for a good reason. So since this is week three, again tell him to wait about this dating business, and grant an audience. Also, what are your intentions for this relationship with him? That is very important to know. Because your mom will eventually ask that question.

What Guys Said 10

  • Have your boyfriend come to your home and both of you should address your mother together. She should be impressed by the maturity of him coming and asking permission to take you to the homecoming. It is much easier to be concerned about things that you have never seen. Let your mom get to know him a little bit and she may ease up on her restrictions.

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  • From what I heard from you before about your mother - I would keep it a secret for a while - Just be careful, don't run before you can walk.

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    • 1mo

      my mother is the type of person to overreact ! that's why I'm ridiculously afraid.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Must be hard for you - As I said before if things get on top of you and you want to talk, you can message me anytime.

    • 1mo

      OK thank you

  • Are you really sure he is the man for you? If yes and you believe he will take care of you even if you are disowned, then tell tour mum. But if in doubt, fake in front of your boyfriend that you have been disowned and ask him would he now accept you as her life partner and continue with you. Well, you know else from here but I guess if he got the calibre to stay cool with your mother and she starts believing in him, that's the best.

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  • If you tell her the truth, You'll feel better.

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  • Why not have him meet your mother "accidentally" and have him form a relationship with her so that she can "pick him" as your boyfriend

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  • Forget some condoms on the desk

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  • Ask your mom to meet him. It'll force him to be brave, and she'll say sure. If you ask him to do something reasonable for you and he won't, he's not a very good boyfriend.

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  • wait till you are pregnant.

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  • It's always better to just say it now, rather than later, or to never say it. You'll regret it, if you don't

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  • that's your private life and has fuck all to do with anyone else.
    you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want too.

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    • 1mo

      so I should just be private and be proud of my rights?

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    • 1mo

      do you have experience?

    • 1mo

      Yes we have always been a private family not telling or asking about each others lives.

      If we need to know we will say.

What Girls Said 6

  • use this as an opportunity to regain your mom's trust.

    for example, tell your mom about him in private; then, once she gets over her initial anger, you guys can talk about how you'd like to earn her trust back by introducing her to the person you like- if she's okay with that, bring him to meet her. if the two of you can prove to her that you're responsible, there's no reason she won't learn to trust you (and him too).

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  • You're 15, she can't kick you out. But just have a serious, quiet talk to her and just say that you really liked this guy and you have began dating him. Say all positive things about him and that you really really like him and want to go to homecoming with him.

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  • Just say, "Gee me ma, me boiii is not in the zone of friendship." Or something. But what you do say, say it silly, and playful. So it's not taken too seriously, but she won't be mad that you didn't tell her. Because you did. So it'd be stupid for her to be mad

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  • If your relationship with him is strong enough it will survive her disapproval. Just tell her, at least next time she won't suspect you're lying as you've admitted it before.

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  • Better to tell her than for her to find out from another source

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  • Is this your first boyfriend?
    Because if it is its better to tell her now before its too late

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