Have you ever been attracted to someone you were surprised to be attracted to? Almost as if you tried to fight your feelings?

Maybe someone can explain to me why I feel this way? Or let me be more at peace with it.

Im 22, college grad, high maintenance.. I'm not cocky, but I don't want to post pics (: so to explain, I've been told I am a "looker," gorgeous, and I could model. That said, most guys that ask me out are pretty good looking and a bit full of themselves.

Right now, and for a few months now, I've had the most massive crush on a man (27) in a punk band, who's a rebel, not mean, he's actually one of the nicest guys, but he chain smokes, dabbles with drugs here and there, and is against working, he's rail thin.. no muscles, he's my height (5'2).. my friends and mom have no idea what I see in him which makes me question why I do too... but I honestly think he is the greatest guy I have ever met. I'm partially in shock with how much I'm into him. He isn't even that good looking to most people and he doesn't have much confidence either (so it's not like he's got such charm) but I swear to god, I think he's the most beautiful guy I have ever met. If you met me, I'm this little pretty classy thing, and he's just opposite. We view life the same, his taste in music ROCKS (same as mine), he's so smart with life (we read the same stuff), he's just made up of the same stuff I am, we just click. I'm surprised by my own interest, I'm almost fighting it because everyone is acting like I'm this prize and he's scum, which angers me. My cousin said "I eat men like him for breakfast" because he owns this business and has loads of money and thinks I should go after a man like him. Yet, my heart is so set on this guy. Not even a crush anymore, it's an obsession. And it's not like he's a player or bad boy in that sense, he's just rebellious and what my cousin and dad call "a loser" which infuriates me. It's like "lady and the tramp" and I'm just trying to make sense of my emotions here? Is this a passing crush or something serious? Love is blind?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well we don't know how well you click, how is anyone here to answer whether it's a crush or true love? From what you wrote, seems like it's worth pursuing even if it doesn't end well. It's better than always wondering.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Love doesn't have to make sense. You see something in him that no one else does... I've been there. I have tried to fight my feelings before. I've been hurt before, so I made a rule: no more guys for awhile. I had no plans to let anyone close. Then I met this guy last year. I won't lie, I found him physically attractive, but had no intention of getting to know him as anything more than an acquaintance. Then over this summer, he started hanging around more... I fought against having any feelings. Then one night, he wasn't at work with us and everything felt off. I missed him... like in the "nothing is right without him" kind of way. Someone pointed out that he had a thing for me and I blew it off. Turns out that he did. And every one days that he is no good... but i can't help but see that he isn't how they say... they do not know him the way I do. Gradually I realized that he had some how wormed his way in to my heart, despite my reluctance to let anyone in. I know he isn't perfect, or what anyone would call my type. But I want him, he's all I want. We get a long so well and like so many of the same things. Unfortunately, we can't be together and I think that makes me want him more. For me, The more I am told I can't do, have, or be with someone/thing... the more I want it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm fighting it right now...

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    • 1mo

      Are you going to cave and follow your heart?

What Girls Said 3

  • I might have, but I can't remember the last time it happened to me.

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  • I'm asexual so yes, my friends tell me all the time that I'm so beautiful and asked me why I date such ugly men saying I deserve better. I don't believe in looks I never found attraction to them. Theirs been times in life I wish I found attractions to looks because I wish I knew the feeling of wanting to jump someone's sexy bones lol but I don't. Not even my own boyfriend I can't find him sexy either. I can't find no one sexy therefore if we lack chemistry, or if you treat me like shit theirs no need for me to stay around I will start refusing sex. I'm attracted to personality.

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    • 1mo

      I'm very similar. Maybe not completely asexual but sex doesn't attract me

    • 1mo

      Yeah my girl friends oh he's so hot my response where? Lol

  • You can't help with who you attracted to.
    I never really been in your shoes, but my guy I'm currently seeing is so not my type, not kind of guy I date either. He's older, we have different ethnicity backgrounds, I don't think my family will approve of him either. But something about his personality just hooked me completely.. we enjoy each other's company very much and sex with him is just mind blowing lol
    You sound like you are completely so in love with your guy. And nobody can stop that even you can't control yourself who you like/dislike when you start to really like someone. You are still young. And you said he's a nice guy. You see him as a good genuine guy who would care for you not ruin you, then go for it. You don't want to say 'what if ' later.

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