Why do guys chase after girls that aren't interested in them?

I've met a lot of guys who never had a girlfriend (or have had girlfriends) and tend to complain about being single or are afraid of ending up alone. These are totally valid concerns, I don't want to say that it's dumb, but for every guy who had concerns, I have met a girl who was willing to date him.
Usually, the flirting is kind of obvious and all of their friends notice it, never do the guys themselves make a move though.
I know there's probably no interest but almost all of the girls are very sweet, kind & beautiful individuals, have a lot in common with them and would make wonderful girlfriends, so why don't those guys just start dating the girls who are actually interested in them instead of chasing after girls who don't even know they exist?

(I know that girls do it too, I've just experienced that guys can complain for days about their relationship status and most girls I know rarely talk about it.)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • - they don't pick up subtle signs. Partly men tend to be worse at this than women. Partly, people with low self esteem tend to discount signs that someone else might be interested in them.
    - having never had a real relationship, they don't know what it's supposed to be like when it's good. So a girl who is pleasant and friendly, they think they've had a chance. They have nothing (more intense) to compare it too.
    - they have an idealized version of a relationship. Rather than finding someone who is cool to hang out with who would be hot naked and seeing what develops, they are holding out for someone who is beautiful enough to make them feel (fake) emotions right away. Ironically, their desire to NOT sleep around is making them have dumb expectations.
    - because ultimate, at your age, there is not a girl for every guy. Because significant numbers of 18-24 women are dating older guys, there's a big supply and demand imbalance that works in the girl's favor. From late 20's onward, there is a mild supply and demand imbalance in men's favor. Of course this also depends where you live - if you live in a small college town for a liberal arts school, things are likely strongly in guys favor.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I think it is because while you as a girl can see that another woman is interested in them they act sometimes because that woman does not show signs that he can see or avoids letting him know.
    Guys are also more out spoken about dates because socially they should be going on the so they try to make themselves look better by complaining.
    If you notice that then let the girl know you notice but the guy has not.
    Also sometimes you loose friends trying yo date in your circle. I was wrong twice about a girl liking me in my group. The first one is now an exfriend. The second on I'm trying to date. I don't want to make a move because if she does not like me back I'm just going to make things awkward for a month and why do that when she is not showing any signs that she likes me?

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  • same reason girls do it.

    we chase after those who aren't interested because we believe we can change their mind. we believe that person is "the person" we should be with and perhaps we can convince them through our persistence and treatment of them to change their mind

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  • "Usually, the flirting is kind of obvious"

    Yeah, it's probably not to him though... remember a guy is going to compare it to behavior he's seen in the past: if another girl "flirted" the same way but ended up rejecting him he's just going to shrug it off as "seeing things that aren't there". Why don't you tell these guys, or why don't these "friends" of his tell him, I know I would tell my friends?

    "I know there's probably no interest but almost all of the girls are very sweet, kind & beautiful individuals, have a lot in common with them and would make wonderful girlfriends"

    Maybe they're very ugly or he doesn't agree they have a lot in common with him (or he doesn't know because he doesn't know them well). Also, "sweet and kind" can be code for "boring/naive/sheepish/no original thoughts" (at least that's been part of my experience).

    Otherwise there's also just a lot of people (guys and girls) who just want what they can't have.

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  • Because men do not have ESP and they are not clarivoyant. Unless the lady makes it clear she is not interested from the beginning, any guy who is interested is going to at least *try*.

    As for your situation, a lot of men, once they believe or accept that they are in "the friendzone", STAY THERE, because making a pass at a female friend will mean 99 times out of 100 ruining that friendship.

    So they do not even *look* for signals that the female friend is interested. (See above about men not being clarivoyant and not having ESP)

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  • 1. Shitty romance stories where the guy's innate awesomeness and perseverance wins her over - dumb guys are lead to believe that by being their best awesome self they are entitled to any girl eventually.

    2. Stupid girls who play hard to get.

    3. Stupid girls who make a guy prove his love.

    As for all those girls who are such wonderful creatures if only he'd see her inner beauty? Maybe he's not physically attracted to her, hmmm?

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  • because girls think guys can choose who they want when they want, the way girls can. guys are commonly rejected and girls are usually not. and the girls who are actually interested in a particular guy never cares to approach him. and so he's not going to know. girls seriously gotta stop thinking guys have to do everything.

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  • attraction isn't a choice

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  • Because guys believe they're in what they call the "friend zone" and are convinced they can get out of it with their boyish charm. It's the most bone-headed thought process. They can't just understand that the "friend zone" means the girl they like simply doesn't share those feelings and never will because, guess what, the girl doesn't like them. So all the girls who they could be dating get left out to dry -no pun intended- because news flash, guys are thick headed stubborn dunces.

    This is why guys chase girls who have no interest in them.

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  • I can answer this one very easily. Because a percentage of men spot these things and find it easier than falling off a log and a big percentage of men find it as hard to spot as a Masonic handshake. some of us don't have a clue and would have done if we'd have known of the interest or known what to do. It's the way of the world some men have dating skills others don't. It's sad in a way that everything comes down to this small set of skills rather than being judged on who you are and what you are like , but it isn't going to change anytime soon.

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  • We chase the girls we want (the pretty ones) and are hard to get, we get chased by the girls we think "meh okay".

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  • As far as I know, I've never met a girl that was actually interested in me. Not since middle school, and I chased after that girl but I panicked and kinda messed it up because middle. Maybe there was one other, but I really did not like her.
    Beyond that, never met a girl interested in me. In fact, there was a girl who was interested in me initially. But the moment we met up in real (by accident), she ended it after seeing me.
    If there were one, and we were good friends, I'd probably give her a shot.

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  • We like the thrill of the chase. And girls who don't like is give us a challenge until it gets boring. That's what happens to me at least.

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  • Because we want our kids to have what's best. So we instinctively go for people out of our league. They are lazy and don't want to try on anyone else so they stick around even though it is un welcomed.

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  • Because they're dumb. Guys are notoriously stupid when they chase after girls who don't want them. I don't do it, personally, but many guys do.

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  • My sister initially hated her husband.
    But he still went after her.

    Today they have 3 kids and are a very happy family.

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  • I want to get married at age 35. i doesn't make sense dating seriously now... that i am still 23. I see all relationships get boring why will i want to be in one now. thats just my opinion.

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  • No girl ever told me that liked me, I am forever alone.

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  • Because girls don't come out and show their interest in anyone. All of their friends notice it- you're talking about their female friends, right? And what's your definition of 'flirting'? Because I've had my sister tell me that I'm being 'flirted with so hard', by a girl who's doing nothing but glancing at me and acknowledging my presence for less than a second, walking past me in the supermarket and keeping on walking without so much as a second glance. It's like, if a girl doesn't treat you as though you're either non-existent or the scum of the earth, then she's automatically flirting with you. Which is a load of bullshit. I always make a move, always approach every single girl who's supposedly 'flirting with me. And you know what my track record is?
    Approached: 2,673. Instantly rejected by: 2,074. Completely ignored by: 538. 49 girls too scared/flustered to respond; 12 girls who simply ghosted me ro gave fake contact details. The number of girls who ever accepted, and ever reciprocated in return: ZERO. Because these girls you're talking about are only interested in those guys BECAUSE those guys don't know that THEY exist. And the instant that a guy gives them any attention, the moment that the guy does make a move, they'll instantly reject him or simply ignore him as being 'beneath their contempt' 95% of the time, because any attraction they felt towards a guy will instantly be dispelled as soon as he shows any reciprocal interest in them, or affection towards them. That's the way that girls' minds and libidos work- that's why girls love and get turned on by 'bad boy' players so much, and why they revile and get turned off by 'nice guy' steady partners so much. Because all girls seem to believe that affection=attachment=dependency=weakness=effeminate=pathetic weakling beta. And that lack of affection=lack of attachment=independence=strength=masculine=strong hunky alpha. If not in their minds, then in their loins. And that will never change.

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  • Girls don't send the signal of liking them though right? They seem to act looser around the brash guy who obviously objectifies women and isn't sweet to her, whilst the guy who is being extra sweet to the girl he likes on top of his usual good traits gets her acting innocent?

    Can u help me on a question pls? Maybe you can help me chase the girl who might be interested?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Lol give some of us a chance!!!

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  • Because they are foolish.

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