long story short,
guy spends all this time and lies to me about wanting to get to know me and date. i felt like i was getting played. i called him on it, and said i wasn't going to sleep with someone outside of a relationship.
why do men do this? sex is so easy these days with hook up culture. girls are DTF.
this guy is good looking, intelligent and very experienced in both sex and love.
whats the deal?
Why do players lie for sex and spend so much effort on getting girls when sex is so easy?
long story short,
What Guys Said 14
Just because a guy is hot, doesn't mean it's easy for him to get sex. If that were the case, you would have had sex with him, no? But you didn't. Because you wanted a relationship. Well, 90% of women want the same thing. And women also have a much higher variation in what they view as hot. Men can usually agree on what woman is hot and which is not. But women are much more different from other women, in this regard. So, just because you thought he was hot, doesn't mean other women would.
In short, "hook up" culture doesn't exist. It's a lie. And girls are *not* DTF. Or, very few are. The vast majority of women do not just go around fucking guys. They seek relationships with the ultimate goal being marriage or some other form of long-term commitment.
He bailed, because all he wanted was sex.
More on this topic: even if he *did* have access to sex, he didn't have access to sex *with you*. Sex for men is like drugs. There can never be enough. You always want something different. Or, someone different. A guy would not be satisfied even if he had fucked 80% of the women on Earth. That's just how we are. It's not like some gauge that you can fill up and go "Oh, my sex gauge is full. I no longer require sex."
In short: guys instinctively want to have sex with many, many different women. Some of them just are unable to get laid this much. Some of them lie to themselves and say they only want one woman--because women like this, so it increases their chances of getting laid [note: I am not saying that a man cannot be satisfied with one woman. They can. But they will still be attracted to other women].
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Sex is easy to get from some girls but usually the girls willing to casually fuck a guys without expecting commitment are less attractive compared to the more hard to get girls.
So he probably thought you were more attractive than the girls who were offering free sex.
Also, he could be turned on by the challenge.
Sex is not that easy to get for most men.2
Unfortunately they is tons of them out there, see men have this stupid race in how many girls they can get in bed. I never understood it, that's whay people call them players, putting effort on their game has become their normal instead of putting effort to make their relationship work which is a big no no for some reasons. Try to avoid men with such behavior , am not sure how0
OK be my girlfriend, have sex or marry me?0
Sex is not easy at all. Especially for guys. Women can get it no problem if they aren't picky (but most are) as most guys would jump on any chance to have sex, not women.1
It's possible he was looking for like an open relationship.
Or it's possible he just decided you were too paranoid around sex and he didn't want to deal with that.
It's possible he likes winning girls over because it makes him feel good about himself.
It's possible he can't get laid with attractive women as easily as you think.1
What Girls Said 6
Asker, I can relate to your situation. I was talking to a guy for a while and he ghosted out on me after I said that I was interested in a serious relationship and not sex. I'm guessing that in your situation, the guy was very attracted to you and wanted you specifically out of all the girls available out there, but realized that you weren't going to give in so easily. So he gave up and ghosted on you.
by the way, that user Rawrr really is really immature and dense. Take a look at the nonsense/insults he wrote after I disagreed with what he said smh1
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They think if they tell you outright they will be shot down. Not so. As you said many girls are DTF. Maybe he doesn't want that type of DTF girl or he likes the challenge or duping a chick to make him feel like the slick dude who sweet talked a girl. I would rather I guy say look, just looking for sex if you are cool with that. Guys who try to play you this way are creeps and have no respect for the opposite sex. Kudos to you for calling him on it.1
This is why I make it clear for players that I'm abstinent until marriage this way I know that if they really want me they would stick with me.
But I'm sure the last one I talked to will pop out in a few years after he's done fucking around and wants to marry a virgin 😒 He literally told me it's hot to be a girl 's first when I told him I'm virgin. Too bad he's super hot and rich and can get away with being a fuckboy.0
They might not be into the type of girls who are DTF. They might enjoy the chase. They might mean what they say in the moment, but are players at heart and get bored easily. I dunno.1
Hookup culture is less common than people think. It gets a lot of press, but most people aren't actually hooking up all the time. That's a myth.
So for most guys, getting sex is still hard. So they use the same old stuff.1
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