Why does he want me to dress modestly around him?

Me and my boyfriend are together for 7 months, he is more religious than me, he doesn't like it when I wear short skirts or any revealing item and he asked me to dress modestly around him too until we get married.
that was weird for me because normally guys like to see their partner wearing sexy clothes.
can somebody help me understand what is this all mean?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Purity is not just about sex to someone in faith—it is mental as well. Honestly, take it as a compliment. He sees you as tempting and doesn't want to feel lust towards you, not just avoid having sex with you.

    Respect his wish and feel proud—you've got a man that values all of you, from the inside, out.

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What Guys Said 13

  • He's religious. You being sexy causes him distress on two levels. One, it increases his desire for you which conflicts with his goal of not f'ing you silly. Second, midesty is a virtue in most religions.

    I hope your wants and needs will not be in conflict with his religiously driven goals.

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  • He's grown in a religious lifestyle thats why. You should be free to do whatever u want. Even if you decide to change for him, youd feel anger and unfairness to your expression of personality and you're marriage will end in divorce by the way. Seek someone you match with

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  • Many religions have rules for women to dress modestly so as not to entice men into committing sins such as having pre-marital sex.

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  • Crazy religious person.

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  • He's controlling, that's what's up. Not a very hard idea to grasp here. He needs you to follow his religious norms for how women should dress.

    So dating 7 months and already getting married huh... well get ready for some more illogical rules.

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  • He doesn't want you to be revealing anything that is inappropriate until marriage! Partners shouldn't be allowed to show anything inappropriate to each other until they're husband and wife!

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  • Sexy clothes? No haha well I mean, you should wear something classy and appreciate since he's a church boy:) just don't let him get too out of hand, a controlling boyfriend

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  • It's because he's religious and crazy..

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  • Sounds like he has insecurities and is afraid other guys might be looking at you. Sounds very possessive.

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  • He's probably a member of ISIS.

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  • yeah, thats just plain wrong. you can wear revealing clothes for me anytime

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  • I notice that when girls are single, they tend to be a little more revealing, ya know, short skirts, low cut tops. I get it, you're trying to get men's attention. But, when you're with a man, why do you any MORE attention. You already have a man

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  • Cause he's religious. I mean u can make a big deal about it but at the same time it doesn't hurt to wear more clothes. Change it up at least.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Unless you're wearing skimpy clothes that leave nothing to the imagination...

    This is a red flag, when a guy starts to control what you wear this early, it will soon lead to more controlling behaviour from him i. e. who you can talk and not talk to, when and where you go out etc and once he sees that control over it will very soon turn abusive because he starts to think of you as a object with no brain that he can control and do whatever he wants with.

    Now I'm not saying this is exactly what will happen... but I think you should try to talk to him and ask why he wants you to dress that way, and then if you don't agree then DON'T DO IT. Show you have a brain of your own, where YOU CHOOSE what you WANT to do.

    Good luck girlie, I hope he's reasonable because if he's not, then expect very similar outcomes to what I wrote above.

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    • 1mo

      In terms of going out and talking to people he is not trying to control.
      He also belives in every person openion and own disicions, I'm still too shy to ask him why he wants me to be modest around him, maybe because deep down I now that it is something about lust and his desires.
      And we still don't talk about these kind of stuff according to morals in our religon.
      I really like your openion, you go girl ;)

    • 1mo

      Know**

    • 1mo

      Thank you :)

  • Maybe he doesn't want to be tempted?

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  • It's his religion and beliefs

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  • If you want to make him happy and you don't mind who cares what anyone else think

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  • No man has the right to tell any woman what she should or should not wear. As for what it means, it's a very good indicator that he'll try to control you in other ways.

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  • If he's religious it probably has to do with making you less tempting for him. I would ask what his definition of modest clothing is because if can range from don't show cleavage to dress like a nun.

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  • Maybe he doesn't wan to get "tempted"
    hahaha!
    Im sorry, if you want modesty go date a nun! But if you want a 21 year old girl! you get a 21 year old girl! shorts and all!
    Dress how you want!

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  • I don't see why he has a say in your clothes at all. Does he buy your clothes?

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  • He sounds somewhat a control freak

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