Do introverts love differently than extroverts?

My friend & I are complete opposites (she's extroverted and I'm introverted- both to the extremes). When she likes someone, she doesn't invest as much alone thought about them or fantasies like I do. I also move much slower than she does. When she likes a guy, or dates him, she has to see and talk to him 24/7. She will call him all the time. When I'm into someone, I rarely contact them (once a week to not be overbearing or just because I don't feel the need to more) and I don't wish to spend 24/7 with them. I also spend a lot of time fantasizing about them. She says I make someone a part of my life before they are because I think about them so much instead of actually starting something with them. This is true. I love my daydreams and building things up in my head. I've been known to get crazy over guys before we date because 1) I am really good at reading people, and 2) I fantasize about them so they become a part of my daily life inside my head.

Do many introverts do this or am I psychotic? I've had a handful of guys talk to me online for only a few times and proclaim we have been talking forever or have something, and to me THAT is weird. But I admit, I get crazy crushes that almost make me into someone else when I like them.. before even making a move to be with them. It's almost as if I don't want my vision of them shattered.


0|1
2|19

Most Helpful Guy

  • As an introvert myself I agree with your thoughts on this. In response to Owl95's comments below - I also have a constantly buzzing and rambling brain - my mind is constantly moving a mile a minute. I don't get out much as well, because I have always had difficulty connecting, getting along with people, and finding the good company that I crave - so I spend most of my time by myself, lost in my own mind/thoughts. I think way too much about things and over analyze things.

    But - to answer your question - I believe introverts do love differently than extroverts. In my opinion, introverts are more careful with the way they speak/think around crushes or romantic interests; they think before they speak or talk with that individual. In the sense that they care about them and do not wish to offend them. This may appear to an extrovert as not being very talkative or being shy/quiet. But extroverts, also in my opinion, tend to be able to blurt things out, have conversations, and speak whatever comes to their mind without a second thought. This can be reflected in the way they show love.

    Again, this is only my opinion.

    1|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Would you say, too, that the smaller things amount to more with introverts than extroverts? Like I can have a small interaction with my crush and it will completely make my day and feel like a big deal, but yet to my extroverted friend.. she's like so what?

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      to elaborate on that - I recently had a wonderful conversation, with a girl I don't have a crush on at all, about puppies - and that made my day and was a huge deal to me, but to an extrovert they would be like "So?"

    • 1mo

      Yes! I'm much the same. (:

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm half intro-extro (I know, confusing), so I kinda switch back and forth between these two...

    I'm actually kinda glad you posted to talk about this, because it's hard being both... They both have their advantages/disadvantages...

    Intros seem like they're more into an emotional investment; I've gotten my heart broken over how much I think about a future together. Extros are more "in-the-moment", and can actually enjoy it while it's actually happening (though their enthusiasm might kill it early). Texting 24/7 is a major turn off to me, but I can flirt like an extrovert...

    It kind of sucks, because people tend to be one or the other, don't they? If I act like an extro, I don't attract more introverted guys... and if I act like and intro, extro guys don't necessarily see my interest.

    So you're not alone. The struggle is real, lol.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 18

  • Love languages covers the different ways people experience love:

    1. Words of affirmation
    2. Quality time
    3. Acts of kindness
    4. Gifts
    5. Physical touch.

    Most people experience love most in 2 or 3 of those areas, while not caring about the remaining options. a lot of misunderstanding comes from this as well, when your partner loves differently than you do. Because you express love in the ways that mean most to you and if they don't love the same way, then they may not necessarily feel the love to the extent in which you express it. Like some people really don't care about gifts. If you feel loved, when you receive gifts and you want to make them feel extra loved so you buy them a gift. Likely they'll appreciate the gift, but they won't FEEL "wow, they really love me".

    Being introvert or extrovert doesn't change that. Like you might be more or less comfortable loving with words of affirmation, but that doesn't dictate the actual experience of how it makes you feel if that makes sense.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't really know if I qualify as introverted or not, as I do agree with the whole "I don't like people so I don't go out if I don't have to" aspect, but when I do go out I'm very social and talkative, however I think when you get passed the initial dating phase and get into the relationship phase that you love the same, it's the before part that is different as you kind of showed up above with your fantasies and brutal texting skills :P

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think introverts love more deeply. Part of the reason that many people are introverts is that they feel so much and it can hurt to be in a world that doesn't feel back.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't think it's weird, it may also be a way of calming nervousness around them, if you have it. That's what I think anyways

    1|0
    0|0
  • I know exactly how you feel here. Personally me liking a person enough to actually think about them when I'm not with them is really rare but when I do its sometimes like my brain simply won't turn off but when I get near them I can't think of what I wanted to tell them.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You may have a constantly buzzing brain. If your not getting out enough than you may obsess over your crush.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      I never go out because I don't like people

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      I like listening to music and reading, I don't know

    • 1mo

      https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types
      take this test and find out. This will help you

  • I would say it's normal for introverted person to do so and i have found are the best when the moment comes cause you have been waiting and thinking about it

    1|0
    0|0
  • Introvert here, I can relate.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It could be the polar opposite. Some people may not like to spend time around random ass groups of people, or groups of friends. But want to spend every waking moment with their girlfriend and the exact opposite. Case by case.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah i would think so because being an introvert myself i see the slight difference between the two

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think it's rude if you
    Only contact guy you like once a week he will soon lose interest you need to change that. Besides the fact everything else doesn't seem too abnormal maybe you should try something different and next guy you
    Date try spending more time with him and talking more

    0|0
    0|0
  • im an introvert and i dont know how extroverts love, so can't say anything for sure
    but i think yeah

    0|0
    0|0
  • Being obsessive is not a typical "introversion" trait.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i find thats an interesting perspective. Im deffinitly an extrovert so I can relate more to your friend. I dont spend much time thinking about someone or fantasising because I know in relatity its not gonna be anything like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm an introvert. When I like someone I try to spend as much time with that person as possible. Maybe coz I like the person's company or love to hear the person's voice. It really doesn't depend on introversion. But it mainly happens with introverts.

    0|0
    0|0
  • At least I have a different way to love...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Different people
    Different views

    0|0
    0|0
  • You can't even imagine the kind of passionate love a introvert is capable of and how much I would give to my girlfriend once I find her

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I think too much so I get you. I definitely do a little of that. Just in the last year or so I've started actually dating and making things happen and I really prefer it, although the daydreams are still nice. They're better when the subject is really part of your life :)

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...