So this is really hard to explain, but here goes.
A few weeks ago my boyfriend went to a party and I was asking if someone would be the sober driver and what not and have him text me when he gets there/on his way home just to make sure he's safe. He gets annoyed very very easily and somehow he took this as I am suffocating him and said he wanted a break.
The next day he realized that he was being a little immature about that but still said he wanted a break to learn how to filter his anger and not take it out on me because he doesn't like seeing me hurt.
A couple days later he had asked me what I was doing for Halloween and I told him I thought we were doing something together and he said "we didn't officially make plans". However, I asked him earlier that month to make those plans and he responded "sure" but he claims that sure does not mean yes, then he wanted another break.
A few more days went by and the break turned into one side of him wants to be with me and another doesn't, so he needs time to straighten out his thinking and get rid of whatever is telling him he doesn't want to be with me.
Then a few more days later, it turned into a "I want to be single for now" until he figures everything out because he doesn't want to be in a relationship if he's not 100%. But he told me not to worry about him and worry about myself and everything will be okay. That his thinking the last few days has just been really messed up and he doesn't know why.
i just need opinions because to me he just seems to build his negative thoughts on top of one another which cause him to think incorrectly. I know how he feels about me, but his thoughts are just getting in the way
Most Helpful Guy
"Think incorrectly"? I have no idea what that means. He's seriously toxic and clearly not mature enough for a relationship. Your best bet is to thank your lucky stars that he wants to be single and cut ties with him.1
Most Helpful Girl
Hmm yeah that's a bit odd, but I can understand where he's coming from! I can tell that he cares about you deeply because he's trying really hard not to hurt your feelings by pushing you away for a little bit while he tries to find peace with himself, however, he's scared of losing you, so there's a bit of that "push and pull" relationship feel going on. For example, from your point of view, it most likely is pretty confusing and feels like, "so are we dating? Taking a break? What's going on?" If you get my drift! And he seems very considerate, so he's probably already thought about how that affects you, and that's just another stressful little thing added to the pile of things that are currently bothering him. I would just give him a little space for the time being but make it clear to him that you're there if/when he needs you. I highly doubt that he'll actually break up with you, he cares so much! He's just really stressed out right now and is trying to make this as easy as possible for you, so don't worry too much :)0